So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Mrs Z To Be
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So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Please help. I'm very hormonal, so that could be playing a part in this, BUT, there are certain people that since I have gotten engaged are just rude and nasty. I realize that this is their issue, but it's eating away at me!!! I KNOW that minimizing time spent is the only option, but I l already do that, and it often cannot be avoided. I am basically asking, how do you cope with difficult, negative people in a way that works for you?? I'm a very emotional and intense person, that likes to speak my mind, but I HATE fighting, but at the same time, I can't just 'let it roll' all the time!!!!
gina409
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
i hire someone to beat them up
ok really,u jut hav to let it roll off..i know its hard and trust me ima fireork somtimes i cant keep my mouth shut but if u cn 99 percent of the time just smile nod then roll ur eyes when they cant see u,u will be a lot less stressed out..come on here n vent..dont let people get the best of u
and always remember ...some people r like slinkys,they really dont have a purpose but they make u smile when they fall down stairs
hope u feel better
megan_gallagher
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Punch them it works for me
ok seriously now... (I do tend to punch them, but violence is not always the answer)... talk to them about it. if that doesn't work just cut them out of your life, unless it is family then just flip out until they stop, that's worked for me for 25 years.
cateydee
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
i make fun of them behind their backs. it makes me laugh it off lol
im only half kidding.
IrishBrideASmiling
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Posted by gina409
i hire someone to beat them up
ok really,u jut hav to let it roll off..i know its hard and trust me ima fireork somtimes i cant keep my mouth shut but if u cn 99 percent of the time just smile nod then roll ur eyes when they cant see u,u will be a lot less stressed out..come on here n vent..dont let people get the best of u
and always remember ...some people r like slinkys,they really dont have a purpose but they make u smile when they fall down stairs
hope u feel better
lol I just laughed really loud at work!
Ive had this problem too and have had a specific set of people criticize every aspect of my wedding. Every time I plan something or make a decision, I have to hear how it hurts them. ITS MY FREAKIN WEDDING!!
The best way I deal with it is I just dont give them a response to their criticism bc I know they are doing it to hurt me and to cause drama so if I dont respond, I am not participating in their games. It makes me feel better to just ignore it and bury myself in my DIY projects.
ETA: I actually did this the other day...I got a bitchy email from someone regarding the wedding so I didnt respond. What I did was write out how I felt in Word, and every curse name in the book I wanted to call them, and it made me feel so much better! Sometimes I even vent to inpartial parties too.
rocketsummer17
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Its really hard to do let it roll off your back...Just try to tell yourself that maybe they are insecure about something and they are projecting that onto you...Is it coming from jealousy maybe??!!
Or you could just eat a cupcake...
MarjorieFrank
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
I am such a sensitive person so I wouldn't know how to deal with it either. I would probably cry to FH and after a few days I tend to forget things.
Mrs Z To Be
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Posted by rocketsummer17
Its really hard to do let it roll off your back...Just try to tell yourself that maybe they are insecure about something and they are projecting that onto you...Is it coming from jealousy maybe??!!
Or you could just eat a cupcake...
Cupcakes.YUM.
MzDaniBaby
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
I am going through so much drama as well and it is really getting to me as well. only thing is I am not an emotional person so its so bad that it does get me emotional. Problem is the people are just any body they are my mom, my bio dad and my step dad (well he is actually the only on listening to me at the moment). My mom however has issues with who she thinks deserves to give me away.
MrsCtobe
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
I had a good friend who has since disappeared since my getting engaged. It's sad to find out that the people who you thought cared about you let their jealousy get in the way of your friendship. A true friend is never jealous and at the end of the day I'm glad I saw their true colors.
JAAMS
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
I know it's tough, but you just have to let the comments bounce away. Just remember, people always have something to say, and they shouldn't be able to ruin your big day.
When people complain, FH & I just complain/make fun of them to each other.
lucamon
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Are these people you work with? I always remind myself that it's just a job and I have something better waiting for me at home. If that's not the case, I like to think that they are jealous of my engagement/ marriage and that's why they're rude.
caligirl87
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Posted by gina409
and always remember ...some people r like slinkys,they really dont have a purpose but they make u smile when they fall down stairs
You made my day!!!!!
MC127
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
First, i would tell them about themselves and then Kill them with kindness.
misswitty
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
This reminds me of a 'bully' strategy we teach to my 4th graders - whenever someone has something mean to say, answer back with a compliment or a comment that never addresses the mean thing they said.
For example: 'Your shirt is so ugly!' Answer: 'Well, it is a lot different than yours, which is really cool!'
Translated to adult speak: 'I don't see why you have to have this top-of-the-line china in these difficult economic times.' Answer: 'Well, I'm sure you were excited about all the wonderful things you registered for. Actually, I loved that garlic press I got you for your shower!'
See? Not a negative thing was said back - and when I do this, I feel kinda smug inside just knowing that I didn't stoop to their level. Hee Hee! It's kinda become a game I play with myself whenever someone says something negative. It really works! They don't know how to answer back!
Aliaxtra
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Posted by Mrs Z To Be
Please help. I'm very hormonal, so that could be playing a part in this, BUT, there are certain people that since I have gotten engaged are just rude and nasty. I realize that this is their issue, but it's eating away at me!!! I KNOW that minimizing time spent is the only option, but I l already do that, and it often cannot be avoided. I am basically asking, how do you cope with difficult, negative people in a way that works for you?? I'm a very emotional and intense person, that likes to speak my mind, but I HATE fighting, but at the same time, I can't just 'let it roll' all the time!!!!
My dear-u r just at the beginning! You MUST let it roll off ur back! Since the day i started planning i saw ppl for what they really are! you must remind urself...its ur say and its about YOU!!!
lolalovesacroat
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Just ignore them and also I have to say it is the beginning so at least now you realized their true colors.
Nina1010
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Don't keep it locked up...let it out more often that not. Its not worth stressing over. Avoidance is key, but sometimes...these people look for fights and you have to defend yourself.
Remember they are jealous or envious and probably lonely... they cannot be as happy as you are right now or ever. That is just sad. To make it your problem is just mean.
PROBM
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Member since
Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
Posted by misswitty
This reminds me of a 'bully' strategy we teach to my 4th graders - whenever someone has something mean to say, answer back with a compliment or a comment that never addresses the mean thing they said.
For example: 'Your shirt is so ugly!' Answer: 'Well, it is a lot different than yours, which is really cool!'
Translated to adult speak: 'I don't see why you have to have this top-of-the-line china in these difficult economic times.' Answer: 'Well, I'm sure you were excited about all the wonderful things you registered for. Actually, I loved that garlic press I got you for your shower!'
See? Not a negative thing was said back - and when I do this, I feel kinda smug inside just knowing that I didn't stoop to their level. Hee Hee! It's kinda become a game I play with myself whenever someone says something negative. It really works! They don't know how to answer back!
great advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i usually just smile and say .. 'i see what u mean' and shake my head up and down and then walk away or change he subject . then they feel stupid bc they r seeking the rise out of you .. but when u treat them like a child and just nod your head up and down they are at a lost for words
Espo22
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Re: So, how do you let negative comments roll off your back??
I would be straight up with them, you don't even have to fight with them to do so. Next time they say something just say 'oh well its what im doing, its what I want to do, and when you had your day or will have your day then you can do what you want' or next time they make a negative comment just laugh and say WOW you really do have something negative to say each time about my wedding. Let them realize what they are doing. You don't have to yell at them but show your annoyance. Also STOP talking to them about things you're doing, if they have to be negative about everything then no reason why you have to share details with them. If they ask, just say 'you know what not in the mood to hear my wedding being criticized today sorry' then give a fake smile after.
I didnt have ppl make negative comments, well actually some made stupid comments like 'OMG that is a huge guest list that is ridiculous' it was never ppl i was close with who said that. I just always answered that DH had about 100 family members alone that were invited so what do they expect me to do not invite anyone else and leave out my side.
Some people are just miserable, even if you don't like something someone else is doing for their wedding why tell them, it makes no sense to me. Maybe next time just turn it around on them and say 'is everything ok with you? you just seem so negative lately and making rude comments about my wedding, but does this stem from something else.
