IN between my divorce and meeting my DH, I had one serious relationship. He was a friend of my BIL and we hit it off immediately. We talked about getting married, even looked at rings, and then I think I panicked about getting married again and I broke up with him. I was devastated, but I guess at the time I felt like it was the right thing to do.
We've kept in touch over the past 3 years, he got married (even though the night before his wedding he called me and told me he was marrying the wrong girl, it should have been me ) and less than a year ago I saw him and he told me that he's still in love with me and never stopped loving me (he knew I was engaged at this time)
Well, to make a long story short, I found out last night that he died yesterday. He was only 37! I feel sick to my stomach. I dont know what happened, but I wish I did. I know that he used to be a major gym rat and had a perfect body, and then he had to have back surgery and really didint do well with it. He was in pretty bad shape afterwards, but it certainly wasn't something that would have killed him.
I feel so bad for his family. He has the sweetest mom and brothers and sister. I was debating about going to the wake, but I don;t want to be disrespectful of his wife. I'm so confused about all of this...
anjerandunder
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
i don't think it would be disrespectful at all..at a time like this it is soothing to know that the one you lost was loved. i'm sorry for your loss
Danielle&Scott
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
WOW so young. I am sorry to hear this. I do not think it will be disrespectful....I think his family would understand if you showed up. Scott
mishandgerard
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
I am so sorry stacy. he was so young
brideinapril
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
That is horrible news - I'm so sorry to hear this happened - so young - I don't think it would be disrespectful of you to go to the wake - If I was in your shoes I would go, pay my respects, and leave. There is nothing wrong with that.
070502
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
I'm sorry to hear. I would go, I don't think it is disrespectful to attend.
I kinda think that it is to repeat the stuff he said to you while he was engaged and married to her. She has to be going through a tough time right now and I think it would just be horrible if by any chance she ever read that.
Again I'm so sorry to hear. He must have had a real strong place for you in his heart and it is terrible to loose a friend!
Maribelle7777
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
I don't think it would be disrespectful to the wife. Does she know who you are and waht her DH said to you? If not then I think you can go and say he was a very good friend.
I'm sorry for your loss.
hbradio
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
I dont think going to the wake would be disrespectful to his wife at all. Sorry you are dealing with this.
Kriss2c
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
I'm sorry about your loss. As long as his wife does not know the true extent of his feelings for you, I don't feel that it would be disrespectful to her if you went to the wake.
MrsTC
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
omg that is awful...i can imagine it must have hit you like a ton of bricks, i am so sorry to hear this. I dont think it would be disrespectful to attend quietly and pay your respects. Will it upset you too much to be there?
wc0143
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
Posted by Kriss2c
I'm sorry about your loss. As long as his wife does not know the true extent of his feelings for you, I don't feel that it would be disrespectful to her if you went to the wake.
That's what I was thinking ... maybe you should send something to his family instead.
IrishTracy
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
How horrible!!! I would go to the wake if I were you.
marymoon
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
That's terrible. i'm so sorry
The Original 2nd-time-around
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I think I have decided not to go, and just send a sympathy card to his mom. This sucks
Kel
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
I am so sorry for your loss. I also don't think it would be disrespectful of you to go, but you ultimately need to do what you feel is the most 'right' thing. Just make sure you're not disrespecting yourself by not going .. this man was very special and very important to you at one point in your life .. and his family I'm sure would take comfort in your being there.
2003OCT10
Posted:
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Re: So, I got some shocking news yesterday...
Posted by Kriss2c
I'm sorry about your loss. As long as his wife does not know the true extent of his feelings for you, I don't feel that it would be disrespectful to her if you went to the wake.
