Brides Helping Brides ™ - So - I have an issue

abslout Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:12 PM

So - I have an issue

I do not like myself in wedding dresses.

I'm very not at a place with my body at least that I'm happy and nothing looked good on!!!

What do I do...I have to order now!!!

Future Mrs. Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:15 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

you do NOT need to order now.
Despite what the wedding dress shops tell you in an effort to make a quick sale, you have so much time that it is rediculous. You have 9 whole months!!!!
I was told that I had to order 4 months in advance, and didnt' do it until 2 months. TRUST ME that you need to take your time, and shop around.
This is a great time to think of your closet. What styles flatter you in your every day clothes? WHat kind of necklines do you feel sexy in? Do you like aline? Trumpet? What appeals to you?
Do you like lace? Or, more simple items? Or maybe you like something simple with just a 'bit of glitz'
Take your time with this process.
Do not pressure yourself to buy something due to time constraints......you'll regret it.
You have plenty of time....trust me.

MJDoc12 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:17 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

i'm a big girl, and i had the same issue as you. i LOVED my dress and felt like it was the one, but it was so hard for me when i ordered because i knew that the super small tight azz sample didn't look all the way right on my body....but i took a leap of faith and hoped it would work. when the dress initially came in, i was feeling all disappointed and thought it wouldn't look right at all. after alterations, i LOVED my dress and how it looked on me!

you alone know whether the dress is THE ONE on you or not, but try not to let your body image get in the way. we truly are our own worst critics!

Future Mrs. Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:18 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

one more thing....
I searched and tried on over 100 dresses....I never got the 'feeling' that people say they get when they 'find the dress of their dreams,' and tears stream down their eyes.
So, I went to a dressmaker, and had them make me the dress of my dreams. He looked me over, we talked about what I liked, and he made if for me. See in my album! He even used details from my mom's dress that I wanted to honor.
THere are tons of options.
If you are interested, i have 3 designers in NYC who can help you design the dress you want......but keep looking around and trying on dresses to see what aspects and detials you like, don't like, etc.

Becks526 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:18 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

Yep, you're not behind at all in this process.

When you go shopping, maybe go on a weekday when the shops will be less crowded and take a BM or MOH (or mom) with you. It helps to have someone who's really supportive and knows how beautiful you are, no matter what you're wearing.

I'm sure you'll find a dress that you love that also looks great.

FutureMrsBeck Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:22 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

maybe u should try on some dresses that you think aren't the style that you were originally looking for. You might suprise yourself and find that something you believed wouldn't look quiet right on you actually looks stunning.... can't hurt to try (my dress is the complete opposite of what I thought I wanted and I LOVE it)

Future Mrs. Posted: Mar 13, 2007 07:24 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

Posted by FutureMrsBeck

maybe u should try on some dresses that you think aren't the style that you were originally looking for. You might suprise yourself and find that something you believed wouldn't look quiet right on you actually looks stunning.... can't hurt to try (my dress is the complete opposite of what I thought I wanted and I LOVE it)

This is sooooo true. I originally thought I wanted strapless; with a basque waist.
It looked terrible on me!
I ended up with an empire waisted dress with cap sleeves!
If you had told me this when I first started shopping, I would have said that was for pregnant women. But it looked great and I lOVED my dress! You must go shopping not with the intension of BUYING, but the intension of seeing what details you like and what looks great.
TAKE YOUR TIME.....WHEN AN EXPENSIVE DRESS IS BEING SOLD....THOSE SALES PEOPEL WILL GET IT DONE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer907 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 10:48 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

I would suggest going to Burton's because the girl I bought my dress from bought hers there and she couldn't stop raving about how great they were with her. They split dresses open at the seams so she could try them on and get an idea for how they would look on her. I was so worried about dress shopping as well, but when I put my dress on, I couldn't believe how good it made me look. Check it out in my album. Maggie dresses hide everything. I mean, it made me look like I have a waist!!

SuzArtie69 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 11:19 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

I'm a big moma, so I understand body issues all too well. I didn't think I would love anything especially white on me, but I love the way my dress fits. You have plenty of time to get a dress.

I was able to walk into David's Bridal and bring home my dress the same day. I'm lucky enough to be tall, so I really didn't need any alterations. I only have to bring it back to get the bustle done. I never thought I would do that. I have my dress 8 months ahead of time.

Try on everything too. The dress that I thought was the one, wasn't. It didn't feel comfortable and it was actually a heavy dress to wear. Pick out the ones you like and have fun trying them on.

SusanAdam Posted: Mar 14, 2007 12:04 AM

Re: So - I have an issue

Posted by FutureMrsBeck

maybe u should try on some dresses that you think aren't the style that you were originally looking for. You might surprise yourself and find that something you believed wouldn't look quiet right on you actually looks stunning.... can't hurt to try (my dress is the complete opposite of what I thought I wanted and I LOVE it)

I agree. You should definitely try on dresses that you were not even considering. Originally I thought I wanted a dress with some sleeves and a straight neckline. I soon found this was not what looked best on me. I almost missed out on my dress by judging it by how it looked on the hanger and the color it was. It was in a tan color and I thought it looked terrible, but it had just come into the store and I figured why not just give it a try. I have put on weight since high school that I am now trying hard to lose and every dress I had put on before then just made me feel even more self conscious. I never thought I would find a dress. I put this one on and was shocked at how great I looked in it. It just suited my body type and I felt amazing in it. I'm so glad I gave it a try. As for your time situation, I ordered my dress from Phyllis at Bridal Elegance and she told me 18-20 weeks it should be in from when I placed my order. I'm sure you have plenty of time to find the right one. Good luck!!

myranscott Posted: Mar 14, 2007 01:02 AM

Re: So - I have an issue

I think you've got til at least July or August before you have to order. I ordered my dress through Alfred Angelo in November and it arrived in January for an April wedding.

billandme Posted: Mar 14, 2007 01:14 AM

Re: So - I have an issue

Posted by Future Mrs.

you do NOT need to order now.
Despite what the wedding dress shops tell you in an effort to make a quick sale, you have so much time that it is rediculous. You have 9 whole months!!!!
I was told that I had to order 4 months in advance, and didnt' do it until 2 months. TRUST ME that you need to take your time, and shop around.
This is a great time to think of your closet. What styles flatter you in your every day clothes? WHat kind of necklines do you feel sexy in? Do you like aline? Trumpet? What appeals to you?
Do you like lace? Or, more simple items? Or maybe you like something simple with just a 'bit of glitz'
Take your time with this process.
Do not pressure yourself to buy something due to time constraints......you'll regret it.
You have plenty of time....trust me.

GREAT advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't need to order your gown now

PegaLega Posted: Mar 14, 2007 01:49 AM

Re: So - I have an issue

You do not have to order NOW!!

Little dress store secret... no matter when you order (given some time at least) the manufacturer KNOWS your wedding date. You will get your dress in time for wedding regardless of if you order now or in 3-6 months
I ordered my dress in September and its been in for a month now.
Dont stress, if you love your dress order it-but dont get crazy about the size-it can always be taken in but its tougher to take it out!

erdbeere Posted: Mar 14, 2007 03:53 AM

Re: So - I have an issue

I'm a plus-size bride and I absolutely hate my body... at my first dress appointment I started crying when I put on the first dress because I seriously felt like a whale... but after a pep talk' from my sister (MOH) I sucked it up and tried on another dress...that dress made me feel beautiful..really like a princess. Its not the one I went with because I ended up finding like 2 more that made me feel more and more beautiful...

The point is, if you find the right dress, I'm sure you will feel absolutely wonderful!

O yea..I should add that you shouldn't take yourself too seriously while trying on dresses...takes all the fun out f it and could lead to some major frustration

ido07 Posted: Mar 14, 2007 07:20 AM

Re: So - I have an issue

I agree with everything that has already been said. I am not happy at all with where I am at right now either (physically) so when I was trying on dresses I just said to myself...my arms will be more toned, my waist will be smaller, etc...and that helped me get a better idea of how it will look months from now. Not sure where you went, but I recommend Lillette's in Baldwin (worked with Lidia and she was amazing) and I went to Bridal Suite of Bay Shore. Both places I just showed them pics I loved and they found my top 2 dresses.

BTW I have to say that my front runner was a Maggie Sottero 'Rosemary Leigh.' They had it at both places..I personally didn't like the sleeves (they are removable) but you wouldn't believe how flattering this dress is..it is unbelievable!! It is gorgeous from every angle.

iamvocal72 Posted: Mar 14, 2007 07:40 AM

Re: So - I have an issue

find a shop that sells Maggie Sottero.

Her dresses are great. So many brides are maggie girls.

Go to maggiesottero.com and check it out.

Don't be put off by some of the colors she uses - nearly all her dresses come in some type of bridal color.

My dress is light gold and I just love it! Don't be afraid to think out of the box.

A store forcing you to order is a store you should not order from. They love to scare you. Tell them to bite it!

abslout Posted: Mar 14, 2007 12:32 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

Thank you all so much for your support. I definitely feel better!!!!

billandme Posted: Mar 14, 2007 12:33 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

Posted by abslout

Thank you all so much for your support. I definitely feel better!!!!

That's what we're all here for!!!!!!

camarogirl42482 Posted: Mar 14, 2007 12:36 PM

Re: So - I have an issue

You have sometime sweety. Dont worry. I still look big in my gown but I am trying to lose weight and it is making that much more motivated to lose it. Mine is a corset. so if i lose weight it wouldnt effect it much. So everything will be ok. you have time.