So I kind of went nuts on my mom today...(LONG)

i kind of feel bad about it, but sometimes u just
get mad !

let me preface: i asked my brother to have his daughter as my FG a while back in the beginning of the planning process. well actually, that's not totally right, cause really my MOM wants her to be the FG. i wasn't caring much if i had one or not. then my brother and i began a fight that has gone on for nearly 2 yrs...from when his 1 1/2 yr old son was in the fuking WOMB! he insisted that both his kids be able to come. and i told him tough shiit...they couldn't. so he threatened not to come at all, and i said 'we'll send you pics'. [it may sound biitchy, but with him and i, there is no tact or need to be gentle].

a few weeks ago, my mom asks if she is gonna be the FG. i say 'he never told me what he wants to do' so my mom says she'll talk to him and handle it, and get my niece the dress. fine. no problem....you want it...u take care of it. she talked to him and asked him straight up about the FG situation. and he's like 'well i want my son to go too' and its still unresolved.

fast forward to now. well my mom says 'you know, you need to find out if she is gonna be the FG, why haven't you talked to your brother about this?' and for some reason, i just flipped out. i told her that i've got waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much on my plate right now to give a shiit about a damn FG. i could care less if she is the FG, and quite frankly i will not lose sleep over it...she wanted the FG, not me. if she wants it so damn badly, she needs to take care of it, cause that's what she said she'd do. i informed her that i have about 6 weeks or so till my wedding and have to move into an apt. with FH, pay bills, get used to living together, handle wedding plans, pay off the wedding itelself, fuking get married....so having a FG was about THIS important to me right now.

granted i probably shouldn't have flipped...BUT my mom hasn't helped me in the planning process at all. she didn't care too much about anything WR until now, cause she wants my niece to put on a pretty dress....even though i told her i didn't care about having a single kid in the BP. so now it's suddenly my responsibility to 'handle' it

okay i just needed to vent my semi-guilt/anger

You were right!! I would feel bad too, but people just don't get the stress we are u nder....Especially since you're so close!!! She'll get over it. I would apologize for being so harsh and calmly explain that you have more important things to worry about and your brother is being childish.

Good Luck!!!

Don;t have any semi-guilt! I understand why you flipped....it is a stressful time and it was a touchy subject...you are allowed that once in a while...expecially in the process of moving out and getting the tiny details in order...I would tell your mom more calmly to speak to your brother, explain why his son cannot be at the wedding. Did you say he was 2??? And ask her to handle it..>I think you are right, if she wants a flower girl so badly she should handle it, its her son she has to talk to not some complete stranger...

I hope you feel better and it gets resolved! I had a similar situation with a RB but no need to get into it now..

Moms are tough...Hang in there. I lash out on my Mom a lot. I think maybe she is torn between you and your brother and doesn't want to upset either one of you. Honestly, I think your brother should understand that if you decided to have his little girl and not have his son attend, then it is your choice. Some brides don't even invite kids at all...I hope everything works out for you...Be happy, you are getting married in 6 weeks! Enjoy!!

hope it all works out..if not effem..your getting married and going awayyyy

im so sorry you're stressed right now!!!!!!

hispanic mothers can be a pain in the azz!!!!

Sorry chica!! it sounds like your mom doesn't want to confront your brother and she's putting it on you...and that's the last thing you need right now is 1 more thing added to the 'to do' list. I fight with my mom ALL the time....it's not intentional, but she acts like a little kid sometimes, and its annoying feeling like I'm the only adult in my house!! She's not into the wedding at all, I'll probably even be picking out her dress for her (which I actually don't mind, b/c she has some funky taste! As far as your argument, sleep on it and talk it out with your mom tomorrow, maybe tell her if having a flowergirl is so important to her your going to need her to talk to your brother, b/c its just too much for you right now. hope it all works out!!

I wouldn't give it a second thought. A FG is not necessary, and really it's just an added expense. Your mom should handle the situation she was supposed to.

you needed to let your anger out b/c youre really overwhelmed! 6 weeks unti the big day! i would be doing backflips and having anxiety probably at that point! So its totally understandable that you did what you did b/c youre under massive amounts of pressue and i really do think that your mom knows that and understands the situation youre in right now

I have also been like that to my mom and then feel really guilty afterwards. As soon to be brides, people need to realize that we are going to get stressed and emotional. Our many plates are now totally full and when one more little thing is added on we are going to tumble over.

We have had somewhat the same thing happen to us. This had been going on and off since 2/05.
Now it is done and finished with. It is your and your FH's wedding you make the decisions.

We wish you Best Wishes on your Special Day.

dancer and chef

All I can offer are my

Im actually having all 5 of my neices and nephews in the BP bc I couldnt choose between them... so Im in the total opposite boat as you

good luck, i hope everything just smooths out!

Not for nothing but 6 weeks until your wedding, this ALL of a sudden becomes an issue once again? Does your brother want her to be the FG? Or is it just your mother? Maybe I'm a bit confused, but if your mother is willing to pay for her dress, and take care of the details, then maybe you should consider it. Otherwise.....you have a short time on your hands to be dealing with this bulshit! Personally, I wouldn't settle, not even for my mother.

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Posted by werock0709

Not for nothing but 6 weeks until your wedding, this ALL of a sudden becomes an issue once again? Does your brother want her to be the FG? Or is it just your mother? Maybe I'm a bit confused, but if your mother is willing to pay for her dress, and take care of the details, then maybe you should consider it. Otherwise.....you have a short time on your hands to be dealing with this bulshit! Personally, I wouldn't settle, not even for my mother.

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my mom wants it. that's it. no one else really cares, myself included, about having a FG. i told her a long time ago 'you want it, you do it' cause honestly, i really won't miss it, if my niece isn't the FG. therefore, she said she'd deal with it, and NOW with 6 wks to go, she's trying to act like I'M supposed to handle this right now, even though she said she'd deal with it. that is why i just don't care anymore about it, and flipped on her. kind of like she said 'i'll handle all of this so she can be in it----but now that it's crunch time and i didn't take care of my end of this , i want to push it on YOU' that's why i got mad,

You have every right to be angry! And I don't know where she planned on getting her dress, but if it's from like Jordan or something like that, it wouldn't be in in 6 weeks, thats for sure. I hope all works out. Just be thankful you won't have to babysit

I am sorry that you have to deal with this so close to your wedding. Family is a pain sometimes! Good luck and I hope everything works out!

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Posted by snydl40

I wouldn't give it a second thought. A FG is not necessary, and really it's just an added expense. Your mom should handle the situation she was supposed to.

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Ditto! I have the same thoughts.

If your Mom wants a FG, then let her deal with it. I know you feel bad for flipping but with 6 weeks to go and this issue is brought up again, is just absurd.

If your feeling bad, talk to her today & explain it calmly (if possible)