So I worte this e-mail to my BM...Does it sound mean??

I think you sound very angry. I don't think you are wrong in being angry, but I think she might get very deffensive in reading this email. I was feeling deffensive and I am not the BM!
LOL. But if this is really getting to you then YES send it!

I would speak to her in person.

Without a face to face confrontation of how you feel it will fester and potentially ruin your freindship.

is that what you want?

I have read other posts your have made about this, and I can tell how upset you are because it has been going on a couple of weeks.

Is it worth the loss of friendship?

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Posted by Kimbalina

I think you sound very angry. I don't think you are wrong in being angry, but I think she might get very deffensive in reading this email. I was feeling deffensive and I am not the BM!
LOL. But if this is really getting to you then YES send it!

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i agree but if that is the approach you want to go with then that is fine- me personally I wouldn't start the letter off by saying you are mad I would say you are concerened and uncomfortable with the way she has been acting lately and it is upsetting - no one wants to make a bride uncomfortable good luck!

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Posted by zoe282

IMO it sounds kind of harsh....I am not sure the offenses that you are so mad at were done at all intentionally to hurt you. If you send this e mail you run the risk of really putting a distance between the two of you before your wedding...and do you want hard feelings before or at your wedding? I know I wouldn't. Personally the fact that she got you a swatch could mean she was just trying to help and she didn't know how much it meant for you to go yourself, the fitting you were late...she was there...so she got started, and as far as seeing someone else's dress....I think it just shows she is excited and interested. I Obviously don't know this girl or the situation more then what was in the email you posted...but i would be careful on this one...I am sorry you are upset but it hink you might be opening a can of worms...

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The dress thing was really wrong and even my sister and mother are mad at her for that cause when we were there once before my mother told her that she couldn't see it., She has been very sneaky about stuff latley and even my mom and sister have said she is getting out of hand.

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Posted by jessica08bride

in my honest opinion this email sounds very confrontational. but im not sure if thats what was intended. id be upset if i read this...and i also think the issues at hand should be talked about in person bc i feel like these particular issues can be cleared up faster in that way.

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So now I should be worried about her feeling?? She didn't worry about my feeling when she did all this. She upset me and she even knows that she upset me and hurt me yet I still haven't herd anything from her.

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Posted by Julybride08

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Posted by zoe282

IMO it sounds kind of harsh....I am not sure the offenses that you are so mad at were done at all intentionally to hurt you. If you send this e mail you run the risk of really putting a distance between the two of you before your wedding...and do you want hard feelings before or at your wedding? I know I wouldn't. Personally the fact that she got you a swatch could mean she was just trying to help and she didn't know how much it meant for you to go yourself, the fitting you were late...she was there...so she got started, and as far as seeing someone else's dress....I think it just shows she is excited and interested. I Obviously don't know this girl or the situation more then what was in the email you posted...but i would be careful on this one...I am sorry you are upset but it hink you might be opening a can of worms...

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The dress thing was really wrong and even my sister and mother are mad at her for that cause when we were there once before my mother told her that she couldn't see it., She has been very sneaky about stuff latley and even my mom and sister have said she is getting out of hand.

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That's fine...it's totally up to you, but if i got that e mail, and I did not intensionally do any of it to hurt you, then I would get my back up and get mad. Especially through e mail. You can't read tone...and who knows how she'll interpret it.

I would talk to her on the phone or in person. Also like a previous poster said, maybe some of the things she did she did thinking she was helping. As brides we can be a little territorial about our weddings so it's natural that you are upset with some of her actions. I know I would probably be annoyed.

Maybe you can start the conversation or email if you still want to email like this:

'I'm concerned that lately I feel like there has been miscommunication or lack of communication between you and I. One example is when I told you I would pick up the swatch and then you did. What's going on? I really want to have clear communication so you're on the same page with me. Let's talk'

First of all I do not understand why she can't see someone elses dress? That is just silly.

Second, you sound a bit bridezillaish. No offense but if I was your bm and I got that e-mail I would no longer be part of your wedding, yousound a little out of control and you seem to be blowing things out of proportion. Its dress.

I am just giving you my honest opinion. I hope you did not send that yet

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Posted by bluekat16

I would talk to her on the phone or in person. Also like a previous poster said, maybe some of the things she did she did thinking she was helping. As brides we can be a little territorial about our weddings so it's natural that you are upset with some of her actions. I know I would probably be annoyed.

Maybe you can start the conversation or email if you still want to email like this:

'I'm concerned that lately I feel like there has been miscommunication or lack of communication between you and I. One example is when I told you I would pick up the swatch and then you did. What's going on? I really want to have clear communication so you're on the same page with me. Let's talk'

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OOOO I like that e mail Then you aren't accusing her, but it's getting the point across that you are upset and you want to tell her why...maybe then you can hear why she chose to do those things.

I agree with zoe282. It seems like you're mad at a bridesmaid who has actually been on top of her duties. From what I can glean from your e-mail, she really just sounds like she's trying to make things easier for you.

Maybe you didn't expect her to 'go behind your back,' but my guess is she didn't expect you to need to be there for every single aspect of her part of the wedding preparations. She probably thinks that since she's a grown woman, she can do things on her own.

As for this mystery dress that no one is supposed to see, I'm not sure what the big deal is. Why can't these women see each other's dresses? I think it's a little much to be keeping this all hush hush and to be quite honest, you, your mom, and whomever else sound kind of silly for being so mad about one bridesmaid seeing another's dress.

It seems as thought you're mad, and not willing to listen to the advice if those that have responded. Perhaps it would be best for you (and in the long run, for your poor BM) if you asked her to step down. Then you would not have to worry about her doing things behind your back anymore, and she wouldn't have to worry about you being mad over petty issues.

I know that now I, too, sound harsh, but I think you need a small reality check here and you also need to pick your battles.

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Posted by SuperCool

I agree with zoe282. It seems like you're mad at a bridesmaid who has actually been on top of her duties. From what I can glean from your e-mail, she really just sounds like she's trying to make things easier for you.

Maybe you didn't expect her to 'go behind your back,' but my guess is she didn't expect you to need to be there for every single aspect of her part of the wedding preparations. She probably thinks that since she's a grown woman, she can do things on her own.

As for this mystery dress that no one is supposed to see, I'm not sure what the big deal is. Why can't these women see each other's dresses? I think it's a little much to be keeping this all hush hush and to be quite honest, you, your mom, and whomever else sound kind of silly for being so mad about one bridesmaid seeing another's dress.

It seems as thought you're mad, and not willing to listen to the advice if those that have responded. Perhaps it would be best for you (and in the long run, for your poor BM) if you asked her to step down. Then you would not have to worry about her doing things behind your back anymore, and she wouldn't have to worry about you being mad over petty issues.

I know that now I, too, sound harsh, but I think you need a small reality check here and you also need to pick your battles.

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Welcome to LiW and Happy Planning!

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by SuperCool

I agree with zoe282. It seems like you're mad at a bridesmaid who has actually been on top of her duties. From what I can glean from your e-mail, she really just sounds like she's trying to make things easier for you.

Maybe you didn't expect her to 'go behind your back,' but my guess is she didn't expect you to need to be there for every single aspect of her part of the wedding preparations. She probably thinks that since she's a grown woman, she can do things on her own.

As for this mystery dress that no one is supposed to see, I'm not sure what the big deal is. Why can't these women see each other's dresses? I think it's a little much to be keeping this all hush hush and to be quite honest, you, your mom, and whomever else sound kind of silly for being so mad about one bridesmaid seeing another's dress.

It seems as thought you're mad, and not willing to listen to the advice if those that have responded. Perhaps it would be best for you (and in the long run, for your poor BM) if you asked her to step down. Then you would not have to worry about her doing things behind your back anymore, and she wouldn't have to worry about you being mad over petty issues.

I know that now I, too, sound harsh, but I think you need a small reality check here and you also need to pick your battles.

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Welcome to LiW and Happy Planning!

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new bride?

Guess soo,,
big opinion.

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Posted by hannahshim

new bride?

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is that bad?