So, now everyone is coming down on me because I won't call my Father...

He and I had a pretty bad fight in July and haven't spoken since. Most of his family members are declining their invites.

He declined and mailed in his RSVP the same day that he received it. (I sent his invite via registered mail because I didn't want him to say that he never got invited)

I have been getting phone calls left and right from people telling me to call him.

But, he's a very controlling person. He is remarried and his new wife does nothing but make problems. He will ALWAYS side with her. I didn't want to call him because at my sister's ceremony, he got upset and decided not to go to her reception. So, no one from the family went.

I don't want that to happen at my wedding. So, I wasn't going to call. Any thoughts?

I'm not sure what the right thing to do is, but all I can say is that if you do reconcile at some point, you might regret not having your father at your wedding.

I wouldn't call him, but I am stubborn. Why won't the rest of the family come? They should stay out of it, if the disagreement is just with your father. That is ridiculous that they would skip your wedding because of it.

WOw! that is a really tough situation. I am sorry to hear that you are going through that.

as fas as what to do, only you can decide. What was your relationship like before your fight? Was your fight at all involving you, your FH or your wedding? What I think is you need to figure out why you don't want to call him. Are you being stubborn? Are you concerned about what he will do at the wedding? DO you just not want him in your life?

But you need to decide whether you will regret not having him there- maye not today or tomorrow, but in the future.

In general, (with the exception of abusive relationships) I think that no harm can be done by opening communication. He has already declined your invitation, so what harm could come out of calling him? You may clear the air and get your dad back. If not, you are no worse off than you are now- right? JMO.

Call.

Life is too short- you never know what is going to happen or what tomorrow will bring. Why spend your life mad at your father- call him and try to accept him as an adult that makes mistakes and accept him for who he is... parents are people- they aren't the perfect people we thought they were when we were children.

So sorry you are going thru this

Do you want him at your wedding is what it really comes down to?

Is your family declining because of him -
I think that's pretty messed up if that is the case. Don't just have him there so the others will come - if they wont come without him then IMHO they don't belong there in the 1st place.

It stinks I know.

Please call him. Life is short and let there be no regrets....

I have been thinking about your situation since I posted (About 5 minutes ago). I think you should call him. Life is too short.

I lost my dad almost 8 years ago. I would do anything to talk to him again. It was very sudden- he had a stroke and 2 days later he was in a coma and gone. I was away so I never got to see him after the stroke before he lost consciousness. The day before his stroke was my birthday and he sent me an e-mail telling me how proud he was of me and how much he loved him. I called him crying and told him I felt the same. That was our last conversation.

You never know when your last conversation with someone will be your last.

Just something to think about.

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Posted by Sassyz75

Call.

Life is too short- you never know what is going to happen or what tomorrow will bring. Why spend your life mad at your father- call him and try to accept him as an adult that makes mistakes and accept him for who he is... parents are people- they aren't the perfect people we thought they were when we were children.

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I agree.

Also, I say this not knowing more than what you have posted, but I would not fault your father for siding with his wife. My parents have always been a united front, no matter what and having their example, I would always stand with my husband, no matter what.

I hate to be a stickler here - most of us rightfully so love our Parents - me included.

But it is possiable for some people's parents to be terriably toxic - not everyone has the blessing of good parents. It is not always regrettable to cut a parent out of your wedding if they are going to turn it in to a nightmare day for you and FH. I think she should be supported in her decision no matter what.

We really dont know the whole situation here.

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Posted by MrsBrad

Do whatever your gut tells you to do!

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Bingo!!!!

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Posted by MizStinker

But it is possiable for some people's parents to be terriably toxic - not everyone has the blessing of good parents. It is not always regrettable to cut a parent out of your wedding if they are going to turn it in to a nightmare day for you and FH. I think she should be supported in her decision no matter what.

We really dont know the whole situation here.

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Well said!

Can't tell ya what to do but wanted to give ya a hug..

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Posted by shelly3950

I have been thinking about your situation since I posted (About 5 minutes ago). I think you should call him. Life is too short.

I lost my dad almost 8 years ago. I would do anything to talk to him again. It was very sudden- he had a stroke and 2 days later he was in a coma and gone. I was away so I never got to see him after the stroke before he lost consciousness. The day before his stroke was my birthday and he sent me an e-mail telling me how proud he was of me and how much he loved him. I called him crying and told him I felt the same. That was our last conversation.

You never know when your last conversation with someone will be your last.

Just something to think about.

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im so sorry shelly as im in tears typing this. i totally feel the same way i lost my dad almost 5 years ago and i would do anything in the world to get one last talk with him or once last kiss. i can understand how you dont want trouble at your wedding but maybe you can at least make peace with him.

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Posted by suven

I didn't want to call him because at my sister's ceremony, he got upset and decided not to go to her reception. So, no one from the family went.

I don't want that to happen at my wedding. So, I wasn't going to call. Any thoughts?

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I don't know your situation, but to me when you say that he skipped your sister's reception shows that he isn't really dependable not to pull that kind of crap at your wedding. How horrible that must have been for your sister, and what the hell is the matter with your family for just leaving like that?! based on that alone I wouldn't call him. Obviously, the quickness he returned your RSVP card indicates that he's not willing to work with you. Sometimes the children have to be the adults. It's a cliche, but it's true. Good luck in whatever you do sweetie.

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Posted by november12003

I'm not sure what the right thing to do is, but all I can say is that if you do reconcile at some point, you might regret not having your father at your wedding.

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Ditto

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Posted by Sassyz75

Call.

Life is too short- you never know what is going to happen or what tomorrow will bring. Why spend your life mad at your father- call him and try to accept him as an adult that makes mistakes and accept him for who he is... parents are people- they aren't the perfect people we thought they were when we were children.

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Well said