so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

Moonmist09 Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:08 PM

so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

FH is a huge car buff. he builds his own classic cars - owns them - displays them at car shows - he a fanatic about cars.

Last week i let him know the car show started at the Jacob Javitz Center. We went last year together and had a lot of fun.

I ask him again last saturday if he wanted to go and he says ' i don't really care if we go or not' which i thought was super weird because he never passes up a chance to go see the show.

Well earlier this week he tells me that his friend at work asks him to go with him and he said yes! i thought he was joking but he just called me a little while ago and told me he was going and he wouldn't be able to see me later.

I'm sorry, but i'm upset. really upset and my feelings are really hurt. i honestly want to cry right now. and i told him that he is messed up - when i aske dhim he didn't want to go but when his friend asks him to go he says yes? why.

my feelings are so hurt right now and he doesn't get it. am i wrong?

LoveyDovey Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:11 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

awww, i hear ya...i'd be upset too!

im sure he was either trying to protect you and avoid upsetting you if he had the plans already

orrrr he just went on a whim today and didn't realize that it would upset

men sometimes don't realize these things and im sure he didn't have any ill intentions

just tell him how you feel...but don't ruin his day out with his friends

im sure all will be OK later

halfbaked Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:14 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

Hmph, that would definitely hurt my feelings, too. How insulting. Maybe he thought he was doing you a favor by not dragging you along?

allornil Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:14 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

men are idiots!

I'd be super upset and he'd know it. I'm not shy about telling FH how I feel.

Make sure he understands you wanted to go with him and now you feel passed over.

harts2976 Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:16 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

Maybe he thinks of it as a guys things??

Or maybe it just came up?
We are going tomorrow! Hope it doesnt rain too much

quirkybride Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:16 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

I can understand you're upset, my feelings would be hurt as well.

However, maybe your FH wanted some guy time. I can see maybe him wanting to go with a guy friend to a car show. You could try talking to your FH and asking him what his prospective is. It should be ok to have some one on one time with friends, maybe he was nervous to say this to you directly. Maybe you guys can open up a communication door this way so that it's ok for him to say I want to hang out with my guy friend in the future.

Do you feel in general like he doesn't want to spend as much time together as you do?

jwleewedding Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:17 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

yea, i agree with the other girls, maybe he just thought that it was something you weren't into and that's why he declined your offer and took up another one.

i'd try to not be upset now, as i'm sure he didn't do it intentionally to hurt your feelings, but be sure to talk to him about it when he gets home tonight.

Moonmist09 Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:18 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

he can't feel like maybe i wouldn't want to go because we went together last year and i asked him to go again this year so we could have like a date night while we were at it.

i enjoy the card show and we've gone together many times before so he has no excuse.

he knows i'm upset and i sent hima long a** text telling him that and he hasn't responded yet. that was like ½ hour ago.

Dc1204 Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:18 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

AWW I am so sorry! I would feel the same way. And don't worry my FH would have done the same thing. Unfortunately guys dont think like we do, and maybe he kind of felt like he wanted to go out with 'the guys'. Just like we need girls nights they need their guy time. But don't get me wrong like I said before that would hurt me as well. I encountered a similar situation over the summer, I explained to him how I felt and how I wanted him to understand how I felt. He still went and did his things with the guys but I needed to let him know that it hurt. Now, he is a little bit and i say a little bit more cautious. They are MEN they don't think like us! So let him know how you feel but understand where he is coming from as well. And remeber he loves! You are going to be his FW

monkeemunk Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:20 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

Awww I wuldnt worry too mch, but understandable to be mad.guys sometimes get caught up in their friends and forget how we feel. They stink! Talk to him and see how he responds

Moonmist09 Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:22 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

i see alot of you saying that this is a guys thing but none of his friends are interested in the car show. that is why i always go with him. before me, he would go by himself.
this is not even a friend. its an acquaintance at work. someone he doesn't evenr eally talk to all that often.
why would you go with someone you barely know and not me when you've always gone with me before?

futurestevens Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:26 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

i can see why you're so upset. to you, it was something the two of you did together. i would feel passed over too. hopefully he'll realize that it was something you were looking forward to because it was quality time to spend together. i also think it's really nice that you take an interest in something that's so important to him- he should realize that and try to include you in it more.

harts2976 Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:28 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

Boooooo-- I see why you'd be upset. We are making a date night out of it. Just because Im not a car freak doesn't mean you won't enjoy it..

what did he say? Did he respond?

rendel Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:45 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

I would be pissed too!!!!

jackieee Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:46 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

Posted by Moonmist09

i see alot of you saying that this is a guys thing but none of his friends are interested in the car show. that is why i always go with him. before me, he would go by himself.
this is not even a friend. its an acquaintance at work. someone he doesn't evenr eally talk to all that often.
why would you go with someone you barely know and not me when you've always gone with me before?

I would ask him this.

It does seem weird, since you guys go every year. I would just explain exactly how you feel.

say, 'FH, we go every year. I asked you and you said you didn't care, and now you are going with someone at work. What is up with that? It hurt my feelings that you didnt want me to come since this is something you AND I BOTH enjoy doing. Why don't you want me there?'

Sorry he hurt your feelings. I'd be upset too. Talk it out. Maybe he didn't realize...

Taunita Posted: Apr 08, 2010 01:47 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

I’d be upset too! Perhaps he already had plans with the co-worker and misunderstood you’re question so as to indicate him individually “do YoU want to go” therefore resulting in his offhanded remark ?? Sometimes we literally have to spell things out for men – they can be sooo insensitive and dense at times. Like Rachel on f.r.i.e.n.d.s “I have AN extra ticket to the Knick’s game – not Two”

I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings and probably figured it wasn’t that big of a deal to you. Let him know how you feel – but talk to him – it’s hard to properly emote via text. The car show is April 2-11 so perhaps you can go together with him over the weekend. Call up you’re one girlfriends, enjoy the beautiful weather and go out for a couple drinks or a movie after work – don’t let him ruin your day today.

mybabylovesmoi Posted: Apr 08, 2010 02:22 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

Posted by Moonmist09

i see alot of you saying that this is a guys thing but none of his friends are interested in the car show. that is why i always go with him. before me, he would go by himself.
this is not even a friend. its an acquaintance at work. someone he doesn't evenr eally talk to all that often.
why would you go with someone you barely know and not me when you've always gone with me before?

booo...I would feel bummed too! Maybe when you asked him the first time he was just not in a great mood and ambivalent about it. The coworker may have caught him when he was feeling more himself and he didn't think about how you'd feel? Guys don't tend to put thought behind their actions sometimes...

FutureMrsLots Posted: Apr 08, 2010 02:29 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

aww that stinks I would be realaly upset to. I really feel like guys don't think about stuff like that and I have no idea why.

FutureMrsDe Posted: Apr 08, 2010 02:35 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

The same exact thing happend with my and FH last year. I wanted to go with him and he was like whatever i dont really care and then he went with his dad. Maybe guys just like to go to car things with other guys. I was really upset too

FutureMrsPanuch Posted: Apr 08, 2010 02:41 PM

Re: so PISSED at FH right now... VENT!

id be sooo pissed too!!! Im sorry he made you feel this way... but cheer up.. when he goes with this aquaintance of his he will realize he would have had a much better time with you!