Whenever i talk wedding talk w/FH he doesn't want to talk about it...we argue all the time about $$$, I just feel like he doesn't care about the wedding...when i try to talk to him hes gets mad and says he doesn't want to talk about than so instead of starting a hugh fight i just leave it alone. I really feel like i am marrying myself. It really breaks my heart...it's suppose to be our day and i feel like it's my day. I have been crying bc I want him to be a part of our day and I just feel like he doesn't care. Sorry I just needed to get it off my chest...thanks for listening
jhines4684
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Re: So sad
I had the same problem in the beggining. i hated when he said 'its YOUR day'...its not, its OUR day.
Short story, when we were meeting with a photographer, he showed us a book he did for a wedding where the front cover only had a huge picture of the bride....i said to him 'How could you just put your own face on the cover of your wedding book?'
FH didn't realize it for a while how much it hurt me when he said it's 'all about me'.
Hopefully in time, your FH will realize it with you.
cMm2011
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Re: So sad
FH did this when we first started planning also.
We also had $$$ issues and when it came down to it thats why he would react that way. I thik the money situation made him so nervous that he didnt even want to think about all that we were spending. Now that the money situation has gotten MUCH better, he has been much better.
Have you spoken to him about how he makes you feel? Does he know what he is doing? Hopefully hell come around...
Im getting Married
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Re: So sad
Sorry to hear..but wedding are $$$ and it stresses people. Maybe set up a spread sheet to show how much you both need to put away to have the wedding of your dreams..sometimes seeing smaller numbers make it easier
JillandNick2011
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Re: So sad
Whenever I try to bring it up we fight...I put in as money hours at work as possible...I save all my water bottles that I drink throughout the day and even some of the limo drivers that work for my company bring me water bottles...I am doing everything I can but it's still a fight...I just feel like i shouldn't even waste my time trying to talk wedding talk with him and do everything myself.
rendel
Posted:
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Re: So sad
That will only make u more mad at him, Did you ever tell him that you need his help? Money is a big streesor come wedding planning and it does make it hard, but I have a feeling if you do everything yourself you are going to quickly develop a hatred towards FH and fight even more!!!!!!!!! I am sorry for what you are feeling right now!!!!!!
allornil
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Re: So sad
I find that most men just dont get what goes into planning a wedding. Theyre just not wired thar way.
Obviously he wants to marry you since he asked you. Maybe you should sit down and ask him what he's willing to spend on it. Maybe he wants something small or maybe he just never thought about what it would cost in the 1st place.
Also id narrow down all my vendor choices and let him feel like he has final say...even if he doesnt :)
$ stress is always an issue w couples. FH and i fight all the time over it. Its a huge issue w us.
Remember this is just one day. Make sure you do non wedding related stuff too. Hes probably overwhelmed.
FM me if you wanna vent. Im here for ya.
DCgirl82
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Re: So sad
Im so sorry you are going thru this! Wedding planning can be very stressful and even more stressful when $$ is an issue. If possible can you sit down and tell your FH how upset you are and how the way he is acting is really hurting you?
evita2781
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Re: So sad
i think that you need to sit down with your FH to discuss this b/c like you said, this is something for both of you and not just you. It's understandable that this is a stressful time esp when money's an issue but he has to understand that you are hurting from what's happening right now. i hope your FH understands
kshea23
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Re: So sad
Sorry sweetie!
I go through the same thing at times. All my FH says it 'Yes dear, whatever you'd like'. You think that would be music to any brides' ears? Nope! I want his input bc it's his day as well.
I hope it works out
JillandNick2011
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Re: So sad
thank you for all the support...you girls are all truly amazing!!! I am going to have to sit down with FH and talk to him about it...I figured I would talk to him after i seduce him It really makes me feel better that I am not the only one with these problems. Thank you again
Kristan35
Posted:
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Re: So sad
FH and I were kind of similar. We didn't fight about it but he was just not interested in talking about it. He would say 'Lets talk later', things like that.
The closer the wedding became, the more interested he became. Now that the invitations are out, he's down right excited!
I think with the guys, it has to take a natural progression for them.
bebita0830
Posted:
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Re: So sad
Awww girly! I'm sorry to hear that! Maybe he's stressed with paying the wedding and everything. When men know they have to pay for things, they tend to react that way. Maybe try to talk to him about the way he's feeling in a calm setting though so he can express himself without getting aggreaviated. Maybe u can cook his favorite meal and use that opportunity
mybabylovesmoi
Posted:
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Re: So sad
Posted by bebita0830
Awww girly! I'm sorry to hear that! Maybe he's stressed with paying the wedding and everything. When men know they have to pay for things, they tend to react that way. Maybe try to talk to him about the way he's feeling in a calm setting though so he can express himself without getting aggreaviated. Maybe u can cook his favorite meal and use that opportunity
I agree, I don't think he isn't excited about marrying you, probably anxious about the money/planning aspect? Sometimes it makes me sick to think about it
