Brides Helping Brides ™ - SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

Noonie Posted: Dec 31, 2005 01:25 AM

SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

Hi girls, I met with a photographer today & I absolutely LOOOOVE his work!!! I was so happy because he was available for the date of my wedding, BUT......I left his studio confused & a bit sad.
I'll apologize in advance because I know this is going to be long. Here's my problem:

My FH is Jewish & I'm Christian, so because we can't get married in a church, we're having the ceremony at Jericho Terrace. So far so good. But when the photographer asked me if I was planning on taking the pics of me & FH & Bridal Party/Parents BEFORE the ceremony, I was like, 'Umm, no. We really want to see each other for the 1st time when they open the doors & my dad walks me down the aisle. I've dreamt of this since I was a little peanut.
I think it takes away from the experience to meet before the ceremony & start posing for pictures. He has me worried because he's done weddings there with both the ceremony & Rec. & it turns out to be too hectic because at Jericho Terrace, there's more than 1 bride at a time, and he said he ALWAYS runs into trouble there. I don't want to ruin our wedding day, but we don't want to see each other before the ceremony.

Please give me some advice ladies. Has anyone ever had their ceremony & reception at JT? AND, has anyone ever ran into problems while taking pictures there? I can't even sleep, I'm so upset.

BKtoLI Posted: Dec 31, 2005 01:38 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

We're having the ceremony and reception at JT also, and I'm Catholic and FH is Jewish. So I get you completely.

We're taking our pics beforehand for different reasons.

1. We want to be able to enjoy our CH. Sure, there will be some pics we will take during the CH, but considering most will be done before, it shouldn't take much time.

2. Since our CH is immediately after the ceremony we're pressed for time.

3. I think seeing FH beforehand will help me calm down and we're arranging to have the moment we first see each other on film.

4. The tradition of not seeing the bride before the ceremony dates back to arranged marriages so that neither party could back out of the wedding once they saw each other!! With that in mind, it's one tradition I don't mind doing away with!!

5. Many brides on here who have taken pictures beforehand are glad they did. If you do a search, you'll see a lot of posts about this very subject.

Hope this helps!! But I think it was wrong of the photographer to tell you that working at JT is always a problem. I went to many photographers, and none of them told me that.

BRod-Cheng Posted: Dec 31, 2005 01:40 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

I am not getting married at Jericho terrace, but I am taking pictures before the ceremony, as are many brides here.

Like you I wanted my FH and I to see eachother for the first time as I walked down the aisle, but after discussing it with my FH we agreed to take pictures before the ceremony. When he mentioned it to the photographer he was very relieved.

Our hall only does one wedding at a time, but since we will go directly into the cocktail hour after the ceremony there would not be a lot of time for photos.

Taking pictures before the ceremony allows you to take your time and enjoy your cocktail hour with your guests. And..., since the pictures are done early your hair and make up will look their best.

Finally, most photographers and videographers will set up a special meeting between bride and groom for the first time they see eachother that day, and get the moment on video.

I hope this helps to ease your fears.

Joyous1995 Posted: Dec 31, 2005 02:08 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

my photographer showed me many pics where the bride and groom saw each other before the wedding and the pics were beautiful. You will still get the reaction that you want and believe it or not the photograher says that the groom still gets nervous and admires your beauty as you walking down the aisle.

And think you can enjoy your ch and recption

Wintersbride Posted: Dec 31, 2005 03:02 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

I completely understand your predicament. I am not a Jericho Terrace bride, but will be doing some pics before the ceremony, but not w/ FH...because I too want him to 1st see me coming down the isle. we had an issue because my mom can't take the flash of a camera so I am doing just mainly the pics of FH and I at the hall. Maybe if you limit it to just pics of you and FH at the hall and take pics w/ your bridal party and family elsewhere it won't be too hectic at the hall because you won't need that much time.

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Dec 31, 2005 07:42 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

My photographer convinced me it makes little differebce seeing each other before, and the pics are more intimate and personal.... so I decided to take pics before....

My FH told me he didn't see his ex before their wedding, and its not like it was good luck or anything...

BHW Posted: Dec 31, 2005 09:58 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

I took pics with DH before the ceremony and it took nothing away from walking down the aisle. We were still very emotional and excited right before the ceremony. Seeing DH before the ceremony clamed me down and allowed us to spend some quality time together without tons of people trying to get our attention. The photographer captured our moment of seeing each other for the first time. I don't think we would've gotten all of the pics we took if we only saw each other after the ceremony.

cherryj24 Posted: Dec 31, 2005 10:26 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

Here I am reading this thread thinking how badly I wanted beach pictures but that there wasn't enough time unless we did it before hand. (Having Cer, CH, Rec, at same place) But you girls are making me reconsider. Anyone have the input from an actual GROOM not a photographer???
Thanks!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Dec 31, 2005 10:48 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

I'm getting married at JT and I'm definitely taking pics before. It's just for the simple reason that after we're married at the ceremony, we want to enjoy our reception. If we take pics before, all that photo anxiety is gone, and then during CH we can greet our guests. This leaves the reception to just party and enjoy ourselves. IMO, it just makes things easier. The wedding will be busy enough as is, and this is just one way to make it more enjoyable for us. I'm definitely having my photographer capture pics of the moment when we first see each other. It will still be the same reaction, whether it is down the aisle, or in the hall.

cjb88 Posted: Dec 31, 2005 11:05 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

im having a dilema about this too... im not getting married at JT, but about deciding to see FH before hand or not... i just dont know what to do, i really dont want to see him, but im concerned about the pictures!

BRod-Cheng Posted: Dec 31, 2005 11:15 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

Posted by cherryj24

Here I am reading this thread thinking how badly I wanted beach pictures but that there wasn't enough time unless we did it before hand. (Having Cer, CH, Rec, at same place) But you girls are making me reconsider. Anyone have the input from an actual GROOM not a photographer???
Thanks!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I did. It was my FH's idea to take pictures beforehand - then when we met with the photographer he told me how right my FH was.

Blu-ize Posted: Dec 31, 2005 11:34 AM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

I had our posed and romantic pics taken before. You end up with much better pics than if you rushed them.

We took 3 hours of pics before. It was so much fun and so much less stressful.

SillyBeans Posted: Dec 31, 2005 12:20 PM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

I'm getting married at JT as well. We are taking pictures before hand. I really did not want to do it because I wanted to see my FH's face when I first walk down the ailse. But I decided that It would be worse to rush around and be stressed out. We are going to take pictures of our first meeting and hope the come out nice

metmymatch Posted: Dec 31, 2005 12:48 PM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

Posted by BRod-Cheng

Finally, most photographers and videographers will set up a special meeting between bride and groom for the first time they see eachother that day, and get the moment on video.

a agree with the above. talk to your photographer about the importance of the first time you & fi see each other and see if he can stage a special moment for you.

ayadali Posted: Dec 31, 2005 01:25 PM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

I understand you completely. I haven't discussed it with our photographer yet but I am hoping to take all the family pictures beforehand so that we can just take our pictures during the CH. Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing him before but he doesn't want to see me until I walk down the aisle and I respect his wishes.

Boston&NY2006 Posted: Dec 31, 2005 02:09 PM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

First, I would talk to your BM at Jericho Terrace and see if this is actually a problem. I am only having my reception there, but I know tons of brides do both the ceremony and the reception. Depending on when your ceremony is going ot end, I would ask for JT to include in your contract that you need exclusive use of certain picture taking areas during that timeframe. They will hopefully be able to let you know when other brides are coming in, so they will be able to give you a better idea of what's feasible and what's not.

If you find out that pics after the ceremony are just not feasible, pics before the ceremony are not so bad. We're doing our pics in between, but only because we have a 2 and a half hour gap between the ceremony start time and the CH (ceremony will only be a half hour). I totally considered doing the pictures before (b/c FH and I don't want to miss the CH). It can be very special as well. Have JT give you a special private spot where you can reveal yourselves to eachother and the photographer can catch this on film. Think about it; the first time you see your FH is going to be so special and emotional...I think it would be really nice to be able to do it privately.

HTH!

Noonie Posted: Dec 31, 2005 02:44 PM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

Thanks so much for all your comments girls. I spoke w/FH about this & we both feel that we do not want to see each other before the ceremony. Everyone in my bridal/wedding party has already been married or has been in a BP/WP already, so they know that after the ceremony they need to get their butts wherever the photographer is & prepare for the posed pics.

But I did want to give an extra special THANK YOU to WintersBride because I think that taking all other pics before w/out FH will be a great time-saver. That's how we'll do it!!!
We meet with another photographer on Wed. so I'll let everyone know how it went. What would I do w/out you all on LIWeddings?

cammolax23 Posted: Dec 31, 2005 04:09 PM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

i agree completely about taking all the pics without FH before hand. this cuts down big time on missing your cocktail hour!! good luck!

M&LSept1606 Posted: Dec 31, 2005 08:00 PM

Re: SO SAD, PLEASE HELP! Would you take pics BEFORE?

the Jericho Terrace can get a bit crazy with brides running in to each other. I'll agree with that. (I've been to weddings there)

My choice was to see one another before the ceremony so we could enjoy the cocktail hour and the rest of the reception without having to take time out to get the pictures in.

But, if you feel strongly about not seeing one another that's your choice and that's what you should do. You might not be able to take pictures in the places you really wanted to because another bride might be using that spot. so worste case, you'll take pictures in a different area than the photographer originally wanted.

Things have changed and it can be very intimate and special to meet before the ceremony in private rather than seeing one another for the first time as you're walking down the aisle. the photographer will still capture that moment. just a thought.