So tell me if this is bad... My sister just got married this past Friday (I'll write a mini review tonight as I promised) and we all know that after the wedding you go home and open up all your envelopes. Well my sister called me knowing that I'm getting married and let me know who gave what and who brought a guest and cheaped out. For example... My cousin just got engaged and come to the wedding and brings her fiance (whom we don't know) and gives my sister $50. So here is the question, do you invite these people with a guest to your wedding the following year.Some say yes and others say absolutely not. What are your opinions if this was you. Please be honest
yelley77
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
Posted by TGs Lady 22908
I feel most people secretly (or not-so-secretly) hope that they will make some of the money they spent back however A) I don't think you can expect it and B) I think it really comes down to the fact that no matter what, you and your FH are getting married and if you want these people to be there to share that with you then that's great, if you are just inviting them for the gift, IMO that's a little selfish. I'm inviting many people I know can't give us a gift but I wouldn't want to have our day without them, anything we happen to make back is really just a bonus because I'm already laying out the $$ so I'm looking at it as gone.
Well said. i absolutely agree!
Mizzdimple
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
Money should not matter.
nmagel
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
Posted by klovess14
So tell me if this is bad... My sister just got married this past Friday (I'll write a mini review tonight as I promised) and we all know that after the wedding you go home and open up all your envelopes. Well my sister called me knowing that I'm getting married and let me know who gave what and who brought a guest and cheaped out. For example... My cousin just got engaged and come to the wedding and brings her fiance (whom we don't know) and gives my sister $50. So here is the question, do you invite these people with a guest to your wedding the following year.Some say yes and others say absolutely not. What are your opinions if this was you. Please be honest
If your cousin is engaged, you really should invite the FH. Imagine how you would feel if the same was done to you.
klovess14
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
See here's the thing, all the ladies who are booked with Westbury Manor and have the garden room know that you really shouldn't go over approx 125 people even though they say it holds 140people. Prior to my wedding I was contemplating not inviting everyone with a guest simply because there are other people whom I know better and longer that I would rather have then someones guest. I need to cut my list by 10-15 people and yes there are the people I have to invite that I hate (ex. my aunts boyfriend - because he never has anything nice to say about my father) so if I could I'd rather have my cousin bring her fiance then invite him. It's a hard call to make. I guess I'm having a hard time with it becuase it's not about the money but it's also about the fact that I'm really not at all close with some of them, some I haven't seen in years but yet I'm obligated to invite them and as a courtesy my sister invited some with a guest which put me in a bad position becuase I never intended on inviting some of these people with a guest. I really don't know what to do or how to cut the list without hurting someones feelings, or making them think it was about there gift. SOOOO Confused
klovess14
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
Posted by bluegreen08
So i would say just invite and since this person is engaged all you do is give what they gave right back!!!
i agree, unless it's someone you are really close to in which case give what you normally would...
That's exactly what I was going to do in any case.
xXxNovember08xXx
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deja vu
i refuse to get involved with this
klovess14
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Ok, sorry if the question upset you!!!!
xXxNovember08xXx
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
Posted by klovess14
Ok, sorry if the question upset you!!!!
i have my own opinion and i kno it will get me aggfrivated with my responses... its similar to some u ahve gotten and maybe with a spin...
i am tired and not in the 'mood' to get aggrivated right now... lol
its a touchy situation real touchy
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
ultimately it should be about people trying to celebrate with you..not money! honestly you don't know their situation..maybe they can't afford it, have been having trouble paying bill, etc...this should not determine whether you invite someone or not..i think it should depend on if you truly want them there and if you feel close to them..nothing to do with money!
ChristineAaron08
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
First, yes, I agree they cheaped out on the gift. I know its not about the $, blah blah, but I could never go to a wedding and give just $50- not even if it was just me.
But, if they are engaged you have to invite her with her fiance (at least according to ettiquette).
You could be sure they would be getting back the same $50 at their wedding though.
klovess14
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
I had this conversation or arguement with my sister when she was making her guest list and I told her that I was concerned because she decided to have a number a people bring guests to her wedding. I told her that I had not planned on inviting any of these people with a guest. But how do you allow them to bring a guest to one wedding but not the other. My room at the Westbury Manor is small and I don't want my guests to feel crowded so I was going to limit who brought what guests. Unfortunately the people that my sister invited with a guest happen to also be the people that 'cheapped out' in her eyes. My intentions were never to have them with a guest and now it will seem like I don't want them to have a guest because of the gift they gave. The people that I had chosen to not include with a guest are friends and family members that I am not close to, never speak to or ever see. Of course I want them to be there but I don't feel that they need to have a guest (unless it is a fiance). Maybe my earlier post was not written correctly or misinterpreted. I wasn't trying to say that I wasn't going to invite them because of the money but simply that now that my sister told me what they gave it will seem that way when I don't invite them with a guest.
klovess14
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
Posted by ChristineAaron08
First, yes, I agree they cheaped out on the gift. I know its not about the $, blah blah, but I could never go to a wedding and give just $50- not even if it was just me.
But, if they are engaged you have to invite her with her fiance (at least according to ettiquette).
You could be sure they would be getting back the same $50 at their wedding though.
My parents always taught me that there is a proper gift to give at certain functions and a in proper gift. My parents go to alot of events.
wo0shply
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Re: So tell me if this is bad...
Posted by DNS91308
Obviously everyone is going to tell you its not about the money.... but here are some of my thoughts.
1. Family is family -- its your cousins fiance, they both need to be invited 2. I have also been to weddings where the plates were 300 each and they invited me and my fiance, Did i give 600 in an envelope, hell no. You have to draw the line somewhere. Im not paying for your extravagance 3. Some people just do not know any better.
