So tell me if this is bad...

So tell me if this is bad... My sister just got married this past Friday (I'll write a mini review tonight as I promised) and we all know that after the wedding you go home and open up all your envelopes. Well my sister called me knowing that I'm getting married and let me know who gave what and who brought a guest and cheaped out. For example... My cousin just got engaged and come to the wedding and brings her fiance (whom we don't know) and gives my sister $50. So here is the question, do you invite these people with a guest to your wedding the following year.Some say yes and others say absolutely not. What are your opinions if this was you. Please be honest

IMO-it shouldnt matter how much they give as long as they are there to celebrate with you. She's engaged just like us and money is tight, so maybe thats all she could afford.
You shouldnt X them off the list b/c of what she gave as a gift. I wouldnt want that done to me.

You might take some heat for this one.

It's not about the money -- it's about having people you love celebrate your day with you.

Ultimately, it's up to you. If you don't want to invite them w/ a guest, then don't. Just be prepared for them to ask why, or ask to bring a guest.

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Posted by TGs Lady 22908

I feel most people secretly (or not-so-secretly) hope that they will make some of the money they spent back however A) I don't think you can expect it and B) I think it really comes down to the fact that no matter what, you and your FH are getting married and if you want these people to be there to share that with you then that's great, if you are just inviting them for the gift, IMO that's a little selfish. I'm inviting many people I know can't give us a gift but I wouldn't want to have our day without them, anything we happen to make back is really just a bonus because I'm already laying out the $$ so I'm looking at it as gone.

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Well said!

Obviously everyone is going to tell you its not about the money.... but here are some of my thoughts.

1. Family is family -- its your cousins fiance, they both need to be invited
2. I have also been to weddings where the plates were 300 each and they invited me and my fiance, Did i give 600 in an envelope, hell no. You have to draw the line somewhere. Im not paying for your extravagance
3. Some people just do not know any better.

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

You might take some heat for this one.

It's not about the money -- it's about having people you love celebrate your day with you.

Ultimately, it's up to you. If you don't want to invite them w/ a guest, then don't. Just be prepared for them to ask why, or ask to bring a guest.

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ditto

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Posted by anneandchris

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Posted by TGs Lady 22908

I feel most people secretly (or not-so-secretly) hope that they will make some of the money they spent back however A) I don't think you can expect it and B) I think it really comes down to the fact that no matter what, you and your FH are getting married and if you want these people to be there to share that with you then that's great, if you are just inviting them for the gift, IMO that's a little selfish. I'm inviting many people I know can't give us a gift but I wouldn't want to have our day without them, anything we happen to make back is really just a bonus because I'm already laying out the $$ so I'm looking at it as gone.

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Well said!

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Ditto!!

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Posted by DNS91308

Obviously everyone is going to tell you its not about the money.... but here are some of my thoughts.

1. Family is family -- its your cousins fiance, they both need to be invited
2. I have also been to weddings where the plates were 300 each and they invited me and my fiance, Did i give 600 in an envelope, hell no. You have to draw the line somewhere. Im not paying for your extravagance
3. Some people just do not know any better.

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i really like your answer. very well said

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Posted by klovess14

So tell me if this is bad... My sister just got married this past Friday (I'll write a mini review tonight as I promised) and we all know that after the wedding you go home and open up all your envelopes. Well my sister called me knowing that I'm getting married and let me know who gave what and who brought a guest and cheaped out. For example... My cousin just got engaged and come to the wedding and brings her fiance (whom we don't know) and gives my sister $50. So here is the question, do you invite these people with a guest to your wedding the following year.Some say yes and others say absolutely not. What are your opinions if this was you. Please be honest

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09 crasher here...LOL my brother did the same thing for me. He told me who gives the fat checks and who skimped out. I don't think its going to change my invites, but its still funny to see who gives what.

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Posted by mookie73

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Posted by anneandchris

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Posted by TGs Lady 22908

I feel most people secretly (or not-so-secretly) hope that they will make some of the money they spent back however A) I don't think you can expect it and B) I think it really comes down to the fact that no matter what, you and your FH are getting married and if you want these people to be there to share that with you then that's great, if you are just inviting them for the gift, IMO that's a little selfish. I'm inviting many people I know can't give us a gift but I wouldn't want to have our day without them, anything we happen to make back is really just a bonus because I'm already laying out the $$ so I'm looking at it as gone.

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Well said!

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Ditto!!

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I think thats a fair point to. Weddings shouldnt be looked at as investments... you are not investing all this time and money in hopes of getting a good cash return... its a special day for you. .... \

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Posted by kristi313

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Posted by DNS91308

Obviously everyone is going to tell you its not about the money.... but here are some of my thoughts.

1. Family is family -- its your cousins fiance, they both need to be invited
2. I have also been to weddings where the plates were 300 each and they invited me and my fiance, Did i give 600 in an envelope, hell no. You have to draw the line somewhere. Im not paying for your extravagance
3. Some people just do not know any better.

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i really like your answer. very well said

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Thank you

maybe they like you better and will give you more $$ j/k

i agree with the other girls its about celebrating not the money.....invite who you were going to invite regardless of what your sister got......unless you need to cut your guest list.....but IMO I wouldnt cut people for $$ reasons alone.

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So i would say just invite and since this person is engaged all you do is give what they gave right back!!!

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i agree, unless it's someone you are really close to in which case give what you normally would...