so I AM NOT EXPECTING.... (just clearing this up now)
BUT... FH cousin in law came over with her son and husband last night to 'announce' her pregancy...
she literally JUST took a test, and she is announcing it to people other than her parents...
FH and i went upstairs after all the chaos and i almost puked... i dont think its appropiate to tell the ENTIRE family when its really REAL early.
FH and i had this LONG baby talk last night, and he and i agreed that we dont even want to tell our parents until 3 months set, hes REAL supersitious (sp) and i dont even believe in baby showers, or knowing the sex... i strongly believe nothing is set untill i am holding a baby...
im really nervous about this 'new' baby, i never thought it would affect me so much.. but since the cat is out of the bag... is less than 3 months too soon to start spreading the news.... ?
Jesses Girl
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
i dont think so...i mean...i wouldnt tell until i was like 8 weeks. which is about 2 months so.
but under a month i wouldnt at all.
ant n tilde
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
in my family if you even tell someone before three months - they will kind of walk away and pretend they didnt hear you - of course, i dont mean they are rude to strangers but if i tried to tell my mom before three months she wouldn't respond to me. . . isn't that strange?
But i believe in it also - no telling before three months, no discovering the sex etc.
but this is definitely a private thing so if other people want to say something then that is their decision - it wouldnt really bother me.
ETA: i do love baby showers - but my grandmother would freak out before and after attending one - she would do so many rosaries and she never believed in them. When we were all born - my dad went out and bought the crib while my mom was still in the hospital and a few things to wear and essentials. . .nothing was purchased before hand not even a coming home set. . . and if other people gave my mom gifts she would only hold them at someone else's house
Autumn08
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
No it's not appropriate to tell that soon. It could be a false pos. even though they are accurate. Things can go wrong. I know a bunch of people who miscarried before 3 months were up. That may be where the superstition comes from.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
Oh wow congrats to her!!! but its not just about bad luck, i mean some people are very superstitious...but the first 3 months are the most difficult time of the pregnancy...Alot of people dont like to say something in case of miscarriages which god forbid i pray none of that happens, but just stating why some people do it.
It can be an awkward situation when you tell everyone and then if god forbid something happens to have to tell everyone.
ALot of people do tell the parents though and keep it from everyone else, i guess whatever they're most comfortable with
xXxNovember08xXx
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
yea tell you it was real weird when me , FH and FBIL kinda jsut walked away from the rest of the family...
we dint mean to be rude but the 3 of us were really weird about it...
xXxNovember08xXx
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
Posted by ant n tilde
ETA: i do love baby showers - but my grandmother would freak out before and after attending one - she would do so many rosaries and she never believed in them. When we were all born - my dad went out and bought the crib while my mom was still in the hospital and a few things to wear and essentials. . .nothing was purchased before hand not even a coming home set. . . and if other people gave my mom gifts she would only hold them at someone else's house
my family also... from my understanding jewish people do not do baby showers for the reasoning i mentioned above, and what you said.. bare essentials..NOTHING pre planned...
my parents knew they wanted me.. knew they wanted a girl... did not plan ANYTHING untill they got the phone call saying i was 3 weeks old and coming to the states in june...
even though i was 'planned' they still and the whole family refused to plan untill i was up and kicking....
nifheim
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
i would wait for two months to three months. Not bad luck or anything just considerate to relatives who are all hyper about the baby and then you can miscarriage (god forbid) or be a false test. I know people get excited but its really best to wait.
jgl
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
i dont think it is bad luck
however, i still agree with waiting until it is 3 months. unfortunelty so many things can happen.. Either a false test, miscarriage.. etc.. i just think its safer to wait and not to get everyone excited just yet.
however, my cousin too spilled the beans early but it was because we all knew. She came to our eparty and didnt drink at all and she looked a bit pale. we all knew!!
that was end ov Nov. so they told us all on Xmas day.
AMGBride2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
I think it totally depends on the person/couple. For me, I wouldn't be able to hold that kind of news from my parents or FH's parents for 3 months... as far as other people I don't know. My feeling is, God forbid something happens and you didn't tell anyone... who will be there to comfort you and your FH/DH? I'm the type of person who needs a support system.
I dont' think it was wrong that they spilled the beans so early. Were the trying for a long time and having trouble getting pregnant? Maybe that's why they jumped the gun in telling people, they were so excited. Or maybe they just couldn't contain their good news. I don't think telling people before 3 months is a superstition... it's a baby for crying out loud... it's a blessing. You can't compare that to walking under a ladder or opening an umbrella indoors....
I would just join in the excitement because regardless, you'd be happy for them even if they waited 3 months to tell people, right?
CONGRATS!!!!
xXxNovember08xXx
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
thank you=)
i guess ill update you all in june=)
on a nother baby note... my cousin just adoped another baby boy!!! (all these babies... hmm i hope they know we have a NO baby rule for the wedding)
FancyMe1018
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
i don't think so
Melissa313
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
I think I would be so nervous if I took a test and it came back positive that I might call my sister and MAYBE my best friend!!! Im sure I would tell a few (very few) people before 3 months (especially if I had a sonogram done before) besides I would want my mom and family to keep it in prayer for those first 3 months! but def. no announcement!!! I wouldnt tell anyone other than my immed. family and maybe one or 2 friends and thats only if i need support!!!!
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
i dont think you are wrong in my family, we only tell the immediate family before the 3 month mark (there is no way i could keep that from my parents anyway)
we DO NOT believe in showers or buying anything before the baby comes home - the husband and parents go and buy everything when mom is still in the hospital
The mom can still register as if having a shower and then people give it to y ou when the baby is born - not before
sassygirl9
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
I think everyone is different. For me, I'm a very small girl, always been a skinny minny so I don't know if I'd be able to hide it for 3 months. I feel like i would show right away because I am soo small. So how do I hide that?
sassygirl9
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
congrats to your cousin. I also think that since this is their second baby, they're probably not as superstitious anymore
RGV07
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
i would wait until like 3 month or so, just to be on the safe side
Teamhurldon
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
My cousin announced to the fam she was pregnant 5, yes 5 minutes after i announce I was engaged at Christmas.... Needless to say the baby was much better conversation, BUT the point is, she had only took a preg test hadnt even been to the doctor yet, and is 38 yrs old.... IMO that is not an age to announce to anybody until you have been to the doc.... LOnnnng story short, she went to the doc on Jan 3rd and was indeed preggers, but the fetus did not have a heart beat.... and she had to have it removed.... Her and her husbands parents are absolutely devastated this would have been the first granbaby for both.... my point is I'm sure its a very hard thing to deal with miscarrying or still birth early on pregnancy, but why would you even tell anybody before you have been to a doctor?!?!
GsCM4EVA
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
hmm, ive always known not to announce until 3 months, you are correct
my dh's aunt was preg, told everyone, then lost the baby
i am superstitious like that too-but not about the baby shower thing-i believe in them my mother, on the other hand, does not...in her family (shes italian) they do NOT believe in baby showers at all
but i wouldnt announce till about 3 months
(no he hasnt left it in yet )
xXxNovember08xXx
Posted:
Member since
Re: so the cat is kinda out of the bag...
Posted by JeanineHubert
hmm, ive always known not to announce until 3 months, you are correct
my dh's aunt was preg, told everyone, then lost the baby
i am superstitious like that too-but not about the baby shower thing-i believe in them my mother, on the other hand, does not...in her family (shes italian) they do NOT believe in baby showers at all
