so upset @FH ---cant sleep!

I swore I would never do one of these personal pity party type threads but i am so angry at my fiance right now i cant even sleep.

Long story short- at dinner last night, my mil and fh made me feel real badly about a decision i made regarding where i want to get ready- then to add salt to my wound, the talk turned into how the church has all these rules about what we cant do and im so upset that simple things i wanted like a unity candle, petals tossed by my fg, and videographer standing in front to film the procession are not allowed.

I am only getting married in is church for him - i originally wanted outdoors in the summer- somehow we now have church in the winter.

I feel like Ive given up so much for him and his family and Im beginning to regret not fighting for what i really wanted- i had thought we could compromise to start our marriage on the right foot but it seems like IM the only one compromising.

so when he asks me what bothering me tonight , i tell him basically all of the above and he critisizes me again for my decision, then turns over and goes to sleep!!!!!!!

I was so sick of him at that point I left the room and slept in the guest bedroom. AND HE NEVER CAME AFTER ME!!!! I think thats what hurts more than anything.


So now im wide awake and sick to my stomach at 4 am and hes sleeping like a baby upstairs>>>>>GRRRR AAARGH

THANKS FOR THE VENT

Awww - I'm so sorry you're going through this. Maybe try talking to him again in the morning when he wakes up and is rested...

I really hope that this all works out for you - it's not fun to have to compromise all these things for your special day...

jennifer!!!

i'm sorry you're so upset...but i'm sure you're going to have a beautiful ceremony (even though it's not going to be EXACTLY what you imagined)

sometimes fh's can be real weenies...

i hope you got some sleep...i'm sure you'll talk it over in the morning and it'll all work out

Jennifer,

I'm so sorry that you were made to feel that way. I agree w/ azoodie,,, boys can be such weenies.
did they tell you that the church wouldnt allow it? or did you already speak to the church to find out (i've noticed that along this process, everyone seems to think that they know what their talking about, but theyre really just pulling it out of their a$$).
with the whole fight before bed thing... we go through that all the time... i noticed that talking to fh before bed is just a bad idea, b/c he is in no mood to talk, and his sensitivity level takes a severe plummet (you know they have one track minds, when they want to sleep, screw everything else).
i understand that you've sacrificed alot b/c you are the 'Anti-Bride' , at the beginning i did the same, but then i realized... eventhough i am soooo against being a bridezilla, theres still things that, if they mean alot to me, i am going to stand my ground, regardless of how it makes me look. i dont want to start out this whole process by being the doormat, which may dictate where the marriage goes, you know?

i know it sucks... but this is just one of the 'valleys' that happens in such a stressful situation- its a whole trip with peaks and valleys. When i told my godmother that i was engaged (eventhough i barely talk to her, she said something pretty smart to me)... 'if you can get through planning a wedding together, you can get through anything'.

i hope you guys get to talk about it today, and he tries to understand your feelings

good luck, and feel better!

jenn!!

are you feeling better today??

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Posted by azoodie2

jenn!!

are you feeling better today??

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any progress????????????


oh yeah,, and i was just thinking about this. I think that one night, you should ask him about something thats upsetting him, and then go to sleep when he starts to talk to you about it!!!!

haha i'm not THAT cold hearted, but its a good way to learn a lesson

editted for typos

HI everyone...thanks for the love!!! I truly appreciate the support.

LOL yes he is a weenie ( i couldnt pick a better word).
I stole his laptop and wrote him a letter explaning how i felt and why. Usually i just delete it but i closed the laptop and watched Soapnet (All my children catching up) until 5:30...he woke up to go to the bathroom and came in to see me. I told him i was upset that he didnt come talk to me when i left the room ...he said h ewanted to gimme space.

So we talked for a few and then went back to bed together. he woke up before me and found the letter and has been really great all day today....helped me do laundry, spent time in the hot tub together, watched tv on the couch and snuggled .... we dont do small things like that anymore cause we're so tired after work and his going to grad school.

So for now everything has worked itself out.

We are both angry at his pastor cause of all the no's he personally told us....there is such negativity coming from him that my FH and I just get sick thinking about it.


THANKS AGAIN GALS!!!

i'm sooo glad it worked out!!!!! and i'm jealous of the hot tub... but thats beside the point

awwwwwwwwwwwe!!! i'm so glad he's in your good graces again!!!!

sooo hot tub eh? hmmm....

I am sorry I missed this when first posted -- damn bet. Owed

Ok ill be honest...technically not our hot tub...His parents bout a ski house in Windham NY and we were there this weekend.

Oh BTW...went to a chain store called Christmas tree shops....so addicted- its like a very classy bargain basement. They will be packed with x-mas goodies in a month or two and we want to get our favors (Ornaments) there.


Highly recommended...huge candle section (in Albany anyway)

Christmas Tree Shops