Sobbing.

For a little background on my issues with my mother, here you go:

Part One

Part Two

I am hysterical in tears. She just informed me that she 'will not, under any circustances' throw me a shower b/c she refuses to 'buy lunch' for my family on my father's side b/c 'no one called or sent a card' when she was in a wheelchair with a broken foot last year. Um, you've been divorced for 15 years and not to mention... ITS NOT ABOUT YOU. She said if I want a shower that I can have one up here FOR MYSELF (in Boston) but she won't come b/c its too far.

She then went on to say that I shouldn't HAVE a baby shower (I'm five months pregnant) b/c, are you ready.... 'what if the baby dies, then you'll feel stupid for asking for gifts'

She truly is sick. Why would you EVER say that???? My eyes are so swollen from crying that I can barely see...I cannot beleive how heartless she is.

It was after this that I said 'by the way Mom, we can't afford to have you invite 20 people to our wedding, especially now that I have to throw my own shower.' She said 'absolutley not' and began screaming at me that she WILL have her friends there whether I like it or not. Not to mention, she wants to be my MOH, which is a WHOLE other story.

What mother doesn't want her duaghter to have a shower? Am I being a brat? I assumed it was just a given!

no your not being a brat, im so sorry , your in such a tough position its your mom....and after all this i dont think she should be inviting 20 random people to your party....


dont cry! your getting married to the guy you love...and hopefully everything works out...

I am so sorry - I dont even know where to begin and i hope that i am not out of line at all but it sounds as if your mom has a lot of unresolved issues.

I hope somehow you are able to work things out. Do you have any siblings?

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Posted by beeinsilly

I hope somehow you are able to work things out. Do you have any siblings?

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I only have one sister but we don't get along. I truly don't know if she'll even show. I didn't ask her to be a BM.

Story here:
My Sister

Sweetie,
I'm SO sorry you are going through this. Try not to stress - there is nothing that says you have to have a shower. If she won't throw you one, don't have it, just plan your wedding and don't think twice about it. You are blessed with a baby and you need to concentrate on that and not be stressed and unhappy right now.

whoa!!! This is nuts....do you have a BP picked out? How come she wants to be a MOH? I say esp being you are prego...pick a BP they will give you a shower! Dont even worry about your mom for that. I remember reading about that whole guest list deal....well i agree she shouldnt be able to invite ppl and you really need to stand your ground! Relax remember you have a bun in the oven!!

I'm so sorry..I wish I had some wise words but for now lots of
and postive thoughts for you and your baby...

I'm so sorry that you are going through this there is nothing I can say that the other s havn't already said,

I cant give you any words of wisdom or advice, I would be balling my eyes out-just remember you have yourself and your baby to worry about right now-no stress, is youdont have a shower you dont have one, just remember that you are going to be marrying the person you love. Lots of

Honestly, if that was my mother-she WOULD NOT be attending our wedding. The nerve of her is unbelievable. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I WOW is all I can say.

I would tell your mom that if she is going to act like this-she won't be invited. She is an adult and should act that way. Your parents have been divorced for far too long for her to act so immaturely. I would explain to her that your father is paying for his guests and she can do the same.-No exceptions. Good luck.

First of all... you are in NO WAY being a brat. Your mother - on the other hand - is out of control.

Seriously - and I don't say this lightly - any person who tells someone who is 5 months pregnant that their baby is going to DIE - is clearly unstable. The fact that she is the grandmother to this child makes it WORSE. I don't know how you manage to allow her to stay in your life!

You are having a wedding. A celebration of people that you love and want with you on a very special day in YOUR life. Your sister and your mother seem to need hardcore therapy. You need to really re-consider having them there AT ALL.

Is it possible to have a small wedding WITHOUT your mother, her friends or your sister?

As to the shower... I know that it has become popular for the mothers to throw them these days - mainly because they have become these giant elaborate affairs - but your bridal party can also throw it for you. And since your BP (I would think) is comprised of close friends, I am sure they will know your mom isn't doing it and that they ought to plan and pay for any shower.

I am sorry you have to live a nightmare like this... especially being pregnant.

Chin up... it gets better. And soon you will have a gorgeous baby and a wonderful husband... all of this will be so far away.

Oh, I'm so sorry you have to go through this! You're not being a brat at all! You're right it's not about your mother this is your day!

I hope things work out.