So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
jenniejdyl
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So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
I've always heard people say...the year of engagement is one fo the most stressful times on a couple. I dont think it shoudl be -it should be the happiest. I've recently had 3 of my best friends plan & have their weddings (3rd one coming up this summer)..& each one of them have had serious bickering arguments with their FH's within the year! Does this happen to everyone? I know it may seem silly ..but...we just got enagged last week and last night we had our very first 'engaged' argument. It was totally based on miscommunication...but I feel like sometimes we're sooo on the same page with everything & at other times..he completely misunderstands my points!!! It's sooo frsutrating!!!
I tend to overthink/analyze things...& just wanted to throw it out to you all to see what you thought & what you're experiences were~!
rocketsummer17
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
our first year of our engagement was rough to say the least...thats why we waited so long to book our hall...It was really difficult to get through, but we did and now we are planning our wedding and couldnt be happier
lori7570
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
We will be together 10 years in July, so we have a really good understanding of what makes each other tick. But planning a wedding can def be stressful at times and I'm sure fights will happen...but I don't think it's a 'make or break' thing, it may help you to better undersatnd each other...
jenniejdyl
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
I definitely agree it will help us to better understand each other, although I feel we know each other already inside & out. I mean...there are always new things to learn about someone as the years pass -but on the main level...we know what to expect from the other.
It's just a bit of a 'dark cloud' to have people say -the first year is going to be sooooo hard -and to have knowledge of all my friends with their serious arguments that took place.
Thanks for the advice ladies!
MikesBride2B
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
Honestly I am seeing this already and we're not even actually engaged yet.
We are the type of couple who never has irrational arguments...we always talk things through and never get too uppity with each other. We've already gotten into arguments that were just due to misunderstandings...I think it just comes along with planning a wedding. As long as you and FH have been good until now I'm sure you can get through it.
Lsorrent
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
I'm along the same lines as Lori. We've been together over 9 years now, so we definitely know how to get under each other's skin.
Personally, we haven't had any major issues since we got engaged (knock on wood). For us, buying and renovating a house was the test of time. We got into A LOT of fights around that time because there was so much to be done and we were always so exhausted.
GonnaBeeMrsG
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
I have not heard that but I can see why ppl would say that. Everyone is different so I would assume fighting and arguments will not happen to everyone during this year. So far for me and FH it has been 4 months since we have been engaged and we have been normal but like I said 'so far' LOL did I just jinx myself??
As long as you talk it out you both will be fine communication is KEY!
stinenandy2010
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
I think the first year of living together is much harder - your adjusting to one another and trying to build a life together, so its very stressful. Engagement is tough to but my opinion is living together is more stressful
GonnaBeeMrsG
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
Posted by stinenandy2010
I think the first year of living together is much harder - your adjusting to one another and trying to build a life together, so its very stressful. Engagement is tough to but my opinion is living together is more stressful
yes I def agree with that you get to know someone in a totally diff way then what you knew. It's a big adjustment.
CloudNine
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
this past february was a year since we have been engaged and i dont remember us getting into anything too major. just our regular arguments here and there. we had a couple go on and on telling us how stressful wedding planning is and all this stuff and we kept saying its only as stressful as you make it. so far my stress has come from deciding on an invite and deciding on favors and if thats the most stress that im gonna get than i laugh.
being engaged is a happy time and not every couple is the same. its gonna be what you make of it...so enjoy it..dont fight about it
jenniejdyl
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
Ladies...again all GREAT advice! Yes..Ive def. heard living together is a tough test as well. That will happen this April 1st! Lots of new changes going on for us..but nothing we havent thoroughly discussed and planned for!
I agree everyone is different...and your engagement, wedding & life together is what you make of it -GREAT advice!
I guess...if I find us bickering again over miscommunication...I'll have to try to consciously take a step back and nip it in the bud!
Thanks for sharing!! :)
sykogodezz
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
Me and FH have been together close to 8 years and engaged about 4 of those years. i didnt see any difference after the engagement then again all we do is bicker and argue. It wouldnt be normal for us if we didnt. Its rarely ever a serious or real fight but thats just what we do lol.
KatieG2010
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
Ive been with him for 6 years. I knew I was going to marry him after the first 6 months. I know his downfalls and he knows mine.. The ring doesn't change anything!!!
cateydee
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
we've been engaged 4 months and thank god we havent had any bad arguments or even too much bickering. my parents are taking a lot of the stress off by offering to pay for a lot of stuff.
but something that FH always does, and now i start to do it too... when one of us tries to start a fight or ***** about something kind of trivial, we just grab each other and kiss or just say 'i love you!!!' and we laugh and kind of forget about it- it wasnt important to begin with.
life's too short!!!!
SummerBride10
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
We've been engaged about a year and a half now. Being engaged does help you figure out if you def. want to be together. If you can put up with the wedding arguments, you should be good (esp. since most of the arguments end up being about money!)
T E R I
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
October we hit our 1 year engagement mark, and we didn't have any arguing or anything due to the wedding planning, it wasn't bad.
We've just begun to start to bicker, but thats because we just recently moved in together
20mrsc10
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
i dont think being engaged changes your relationship that much..but then again ive had one argument with fh in 4 and a half years and it lasted for one day..
deanna225
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
fh and i r engaged a year and a half. we got inot some fits but nothing really bad. never heard of this. to me fighting is normal
JenBill61210
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
so far we haven't argued or anything, we've been together for 6.5 years so i guess we're used to each other by now LOL... we don't live together though which will probably be an adjustment after the wedding.
LouMar2010
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Re: So...is it true the first year (year of engagement) will tell if you're strong enough to make it through?
ive been engaged for over a year, and yes the first year can have its ups and downs. there are going to be little arguments. fh and i knew we were not going to agree on every idea each other had for the wedding, its jsut how you end up coming up with an argeement that matters. i think if you know that there are going to be arguements already you are a step ahead of others!! its is a stressful time!
