Solo walks down the aisle????

So I am thinking of walking down the aisle by myself.....

I am in the middle of two parents that do not particularly get along and both feel that they should be the ones to give me away. My mother solely raised me and have sacrafice so much and beyond to make sure that I never wanted for anything, including saving up for this wedding she knew her daughter would have one day. My bio dad has basically been in and out of my life, paid child support and we have more of a friend relationship that a father daughter connection. None the less I have always accepted our relationship for what it was, with a little bit of longing for more of him. However with my mom and step-dad (later in my teen years) my child-hood and life have been great. Now my wedding has come up and made it pretty clear that she does not think my father desrves the honor of walking me that the aisle and that it should be either her or my step-dad. When talking to my dad, because of how it is normally done, he assumes that he is walking me down the aisle. I really don't care who walks me down the aisle because it is not important to me. What I do care about is hurting someones feelings. If I choose my mother or step dad my bio dad will probably be offended (he has no idea that he wasn't that great of a dad when it comes to spending time and having an emotional connection). If I choose my bio dad to give me away my mother will be completely heart broken...again (First time being at my college graduation..I won't get into details). She will take it as a slap in the face and me not acknowledging all that she has done for me. I can not deal with breaking my mother's heart at all because she is my everything. But being that I do speak to my dad and my wedding will consist of a majority of his side of the family, I don't want to used my wedding as a platform to dismiss him. I love them both and don't want to hurt anyone. So I am thinking I will fix this by walking down the aisle alone and doing some other type of ceremonial thing to include all who had a part in raising me (mom,dad, step dad, grandmother and possibly god parents), Thus not hurting mom or dad's feelings. Making them happy will make me happy. What do you think of this decision. Oh and as of now dad is not contributing to the wedding...

Wow that is really hard decision.

I think I would personally want the person who has been by your side since day one, in this case it is your Mom.I think your BIO Dad would and honestly should understand.

One - do what YOU want in the end. people will get over it. . that said

I am having both my mom and dad walk me down the aisle b/c I didn't want to have to choose.

IMO - I would be very direct with them and tell the each. . this is the option I chose and I really want you to be part of it but I am honestly not open to hearing you tell me why it is bad so while it would mean so much to me if you both agree to do this, please understand that if you are not okay sharing in this VERY important moment with me I am going to walk down by myself or have a close friend give me away. .so please think about it and let me know by tomorrow.


eta. . you could tell your dad you are auctioning off walking down the aisle and your mom put in 5,000 and he can have your other side for the same price

I understand your dilemma. Have you considered having them both walk you down...one on each side oy you?

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Posted by lolalovesacroat

Wow that is really hard decision.

I think I would personally want the person who has been by your side since day one, in this case it is your Mom.I think your BIO Dad would and honestly should understand.

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ITA... very hard decision, but if you chose your mom, you prob wouldn't offend anyone. You can explain to your bio dad that since she's always been there and really has gone above and beyond to make this wedding come true, like paying for everything, you think she should walk you down the aisle. Best of Luck!

HTH

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Posted by meara

One - do what YOU want in the end. people will get over it. . that said

I am having both my mom and dad walk me down the aisle b/c I didn't want to have to choose.

IMO - I would be very direct with them and tell the each. . this is the option I chose and I really want you to be part of it but I am honestly not open to hearing you tell me why it is bad so while it would mean so much to me if you both agree to do this, please understand that if you are not okay sharing in this VERY important moment with me I am going to walk down by myself or have a close friend give me away. .so please think about it and let me know by tomorrow.


eta. . you could tell your dad you are auctioning off walking down the aisle and your mom put in 5,000 and he can have your other side for the same price

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Now that last part is very funny.. Thanks for the input.

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Posted by mrsmuma

I understand your dilemma. Have you considered having them both walk you down...one on each side oy you?

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I was going to say the same thing...is that at all an option?

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Posted by lolalovesacroat

Wow that is really hard decision.

I think I would personally want the person who has been by your side since day one, in this case it is your Mom.I think your BIO Dad would and honestly should understand.

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I agree. I'll be having my mom walk me down but I don't even know my dad so not a big help there. But I think if he were around, he'd have to understand that the bride wants to be walked down by the people/person that has always been there. Not just out of tradition or obligation.

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Posted by michelle1024

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Posted by mrsmuma

I understand your dilemma. Have you considered having them both walk you down...one on each side oy you?

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I was going to say the same thing...is that at all an option?

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no they can't be near each other like that... I know it sounds petty. but It is what it is. My dad has of way of making little side bar comment to my mom that cause her to blow up at him makig everyone look at her like she is crazy b/c they did not hear what he has said. It has happen before. Before you think it ... I know its very immature.....SAD.

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Posted by Celeste617

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Posted by lolalovesacroat

Wow that is really hard decision.

I think I would personally want the person who has been by your side since day one, in this case it is your Mom.I think your BIO Dad would and honestly should understand.

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I agree. I'll be having my mom walk me down but I don't even know my dad so not a big help there. But I think if he were around, he'd have to understand that the bride wants to be walked down by the people/person that has always been there. Not just out of tradition or obligation.

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Agreed I think he has to get it. I can't pretend though I love him despite his flaws, mom is my bestfriend and she matters most to me. Hurting her I can not deal with. Not that I want to hurt him either but I don't think it will hurt him like it will my mom.

Thanks guys for all the help! you guys are the best.

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Posted by MzDaniBaby

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Posted by Celeste617

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Posted by lolalovesacroat

Wow that is really hard decision.

I think I would personally want the person who has been by your side since day one, in this case it is your Mom.I think your BIO Dad would and honestly should understand.

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I agree. I'll be having my mom walk me down but I don't even know my dad so not a big help there. But I think if he were around, he'd have to understand that the bride wants to be walked down by the people/person that has always been there. Not just out of tradition or obligation.

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Agreed I think he has to get it. I can't pretend though I love him despite his flaws, mom is my bestfriend and she matters most to me. Hurting her I can not deal with. Not that I want to hurt him either but I don't think it will hurt him like it will my mom.

Thanks guys for all the help! you guys are the best.

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I'm glad that you were able to make a decision that is right for you! =)

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Posted by MzDaniBaby

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Posted by Celeste617

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Posted by lolalovesacroat

Wow that is really hard decision.

I think I would personally want the person who has been by your side since day one, in this case it is your Mom.I think your BIO Dad would and honestly should understand.

---

I agree. I'll be having my mom walk me down but I don't even know my dad so not a big help there. But I think if he were around, he'd have to understand that the bride wants to be walked down by the people/person that has always been there. Not just out of tradition or obligation.

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Agreed I think he has to get it. I can't pretend though I love him despite his flaws, mom is my bestfriend and she matters most to me. Hurting her I can not deal with. Not that I want to hurt him either but I don't think it will hurt him like it will my mom.

Thanks guys for all the help! you guys are the best.

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I think you made the right decision, IMO, that is what I would have done!

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Posted by JoesFutureWife

I went to a wedding with a sort of similar situation and she did something really nice. She had her bio dad start off by walking her down the aisle. Halfway down the aisle, they separate, he gives her a kiss on the cheek and hands her off to her mother and step father. And together, the two of them gave her away. Or you could do something similar by starting off your dad and switching to just your mom. Or have your two bio parents walk you down the aisle. Or your final option is you could walk down the aisle by yourself. It's your decision.

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OMG i was just going to say that - the 1st part about splitting it up - thats the way i would go. Or what my fiance said we should do is when the church doors open he turns and starts walking toward me and we finish walking up to the alter together - that could be an option! HTH

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Posted by soontobemrsag

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Posted by JoesFutureWife

I went to a wedding with a sort of similar situation and she did something really nice. She had her bio dad start off by walking her down the aisle. Halfway down the aisle, they separate, he gives her a kiss on the cheek and hands her off to her mother and step father. And together, the two of them gave her away. Or you could do something similar by starting off your dad and switching to just your mom. Or have your two bio parents walk you down the aisle. Or your final option is you could walk down the aisle by yourself. It's your decision.

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OMG i was just going to say that - the 1st part about splitting it up - thats the way i would go. Or what my fiance said we should do is when the church doors open he turns and starts walking toward me and we finish walking up to the alter together - that could be an option! HTH

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I have heard quite a few people say that they were doing it that way with the fiance meeting the bride half way. Thats cute I think and different...

I was going to suggest having your bio pop walk you half way and your mom walk you the rest and give you away since she took care of you all your life...