SOME BM'S WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY

So my sister told me she asked my cousin so how do you plan on doing your hair for the wedding. My cousins response was straight and down like I usually do it everyday. So my sister said well I think Jamie wants everyone's hair done. And she asked WHY...OMG I seriously just can not. I had already sent out an email to everyone stating that I don't care how they wear there hair as long as it done. Did she really think done meant doing it herself. So I just im'd her online and told her about my new hair person and I asked her if she planned on using my girl or her own since she lives in the city. She said well I haven't figured it out yet. I have this feeling shes going to show up with just her plain hair. She also told my sister that she wasn't going to have her dress altered if it was short enough and she just didn't care about the rest and she also thinks it's ridiculous that I want everyone to wear dyed shoes to match the dresses. : I am really close with my cousin and she's one of my best friends but she is going to drive me to drink right now, Why are some BM's do difficult?

I had two BM do it themselves. One girl I know could not afford it and either could I. The other does her hair nice. The one that could not afford it did some up some down and her mom curled the back. The other just blew it out and wore it straight. They both looked good and everyone is looking at you. I would only be upset if you are paying for her then I would say tell her she has to get it done. JMO.

ETA: Sorry thought I was on 08 Brides not 09 Brides but I hope I helped:)

this is a wedding not a back yard BBQ! If she is financially unable to get her hair done are you open to helping her? From your post though, it seems she just doesn't care all that much.

if the issue is financial I think you should be understanding but if she simply doesn't want to put in the effort to look a tad bit nicer than her everyday look I would upset too. Perhaps a fam member or BP memeber can help?

You don't seem to be requiring that much! I know being in a wedding can be costly and after all it is your day not hers, but I take issue with people who agree to be apart of something THEN after the fact pop up with issues

I feel you pain! hope it all works out!

Unfortunately this is what we have to deal with since everyone has a mind of their own. I feel your pain

I'm sure even if she does her own hair she will make sure she looks nice but as far as the alterations and shoes....that's your call, she agreed to be in the BP and she has to look like the rest, just be honest with her.

Good Luck

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Posted by 9509Bride

this is a wedding not a back yard BBQ! If she is financially unable to get her hair done are you open to helping her? From your post though, it seems she just doesn't care all that much.

if the issue is financial I think you should be understanding but if she simply doesn't want to put in the effort to look a tad bit nicer than her everyday look I would upset too. Perhaps a fam member or BP memeber can help?

You don't seem to be requiring that much! I know being in a wedding can be costly and after all it is your day not hers, but I take issue with people who agree to be apart of something THEN after the fact pop up with issues

I feel you pain! hope it all works out!

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My uncle, her father has a lot of money and helps her with every family function that has ever required money. If there was an issue with the money I would help her out without a doubt. I don't think she's been a bridesmaid before and she just thinks the small things are unnecessary and ridiculous. I think she needs to read something on BM duties.

I told my BM's they could have it done or do it themselves... I don't think they should be forced to espec. bc it is EXPENSIVE to be in a wedding. I mean if she had it in a ponytail I'd be pissed but if she has it down I think it would be fine.

Could you ask her to maybe use some hot rollers or pin some of the top back or something to make it look a little more 'done'?

I am sorry that you are going through this!

On the bright side at least you know we all have BM drama!

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Posted by JamDancer

I told my BM's they could have it done or do it themselves... I don't think they should be forced to espec. bc it is EXPENSIVE to be in a wedding. I mean if she had it in a ponytail I'd be pissed but if she has it down I think it would be fine.

Could you ask her to maybe use some hot rollers or pin some of the top back or something to make it look a little more 'done'?

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I understand what your saying but every bridal I have been which has been quite a few we were all asked to have our hair done. She can have her hair done for $45 with my girl which is the cheapest price I have found. Her dad is paying for all of her BM attire and whatever else she needs. If he doesn't want to pay for her hair I will. My cousin won't put curlers or a curling iron in her hair herself. I haven't really asked for much this has really been my only request. Some brides tell everyone to wear their hair a certain way - I'm not don't that at all I just want them to have their hair done. I am letting them pick whatever shoe they want as long as it's dyable. I don;t think I'm asking for too much so I hope she understands.

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Posted by FutureMrsMacci

I am sorry that you are going through this!

On the bright side at least you know we all have BM drama!

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That is true lol.

Dont take this the wrong way, I understand where you're coming from, but IMO, I cant make my BMs get their hair done. I told them to make it as nice as possible and I have a curling iron, hot rollers, and pins so they can fix it at my house if they want to.

Do you have any friends in the BP that are good with hair? They might make a big difference!

Its hard to pay for a dress and shoes plus get hair done...

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Posted by DonnaPWhite1124
Its hard to pay for a dress and shoes plus get hair done...

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I agree. Especially since the dress and shoes will most likely never be worn again.

Honestly, I don't think you should control how your girls wear their hair. It's an added expense for them to have to pay to get their hair done. And quite frankly, a lot of people are better at doing their own hair anyway.

Plus, all eyes will be on you. You shouldn't care how the BMs hair look as long as it's not scary.

im so sorry..i really dont know why they do this..sometimes i just want to say..when u get married do u want people to do this to u maybe u should get a pretty headband or comb with u the day of so if she shoes up with her hair down u can do somethign quick to dress it up

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Posted by gina409

im so sorry..i really dont know why they do this..sometimes i just want to say..when u get married do u want people to do this to u maybe u should get a pretty headband or comb with u the day of so if she shoes up with her hair down u can do somethign quick to dress it up

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Thanks Gina, that's a really great idea. I think I will buy some pretty hair pins just in case.

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Posted by JamieAnt06202009

This is a touchy subject so I'm just gonna end it here. I'm not dictating how they wear they hair, in above posts I mentioned that they could wear it however they want as long as it was done. I also said if money was an issue for any of my BM's I'd help them out with it. I made sure purposely to find someone cheap so that everyone would be able to afford it. Some birdes ask their girls to do their hair in an updo and they all have to do it the exact same way I'm not asking for that all. Sorry if some people think I'm being a bit of a bridezilla with this but really this has been my only request. I am the type of bride who goes out of my way to make everything easier for everyone besides me. So hope you didn't get the wrong idea about me.

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hold on a sec..i dont want u to feel bad....look we all know money is hard..but i mean if someone asks u to be in a wedding u gota know its going to cost u for dress,hair stuff etc...u either have to say no upfront or tell the bride..i cannot afford this and maybe the two of u could work it out...i dont thinkits cool to just blow off the bride and wear ur hair down..there should be a compramise

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Posted by gina409

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Posted by JamieAnt06202009

This is a touchy subject so I'm just gonna end it here. I'm not dictating how they wear they hair, in above posts I mentioned that they could wear it however they want as long as it was done. I also said if money was an issue for any of my BM's I'd help them out with it. I made sure purposely to find someone cheap so that everyone would be able to afford it. Some birdes ask their girls to do their hair in an updo and they all have to do it the exact same way I'm not asking for that all. Sorry if some people think I'm being a bit of a bridezilla with this but really this has been my only request. I am the type of bride who goes out of my way to make everything easier for everyone besides me. So hope you didn't get the wrong idea about me.

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hold on a sec..i dont want u to feel bad....look we all know money is hard..but i mean if someone asks u to be in a wedding u gota know its going to cost u for dress,hair stuff etc...u either have to say no upfront or tell the bride..i cannot afford this and maybe the two of u could work it out...i dont thinkits cool to just blow off the bride and wear ur hair down..there should be a compramise

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Thanks! Whenever I am in bridal party I always assume those would be the costs and I felt the same way if anyone is having trouble with money they can speak to me and I'd work something out.

If you are willing to pay for hers then I don't see the issue. I wouldn't make them get their hair done and make them pay for it. If you offer to pay then I don't think it's bridezillaish.

Did you already tell her you'd pay for it? And she still doesn't want to? I know some girls don't like their hair up but at least they could put rollers in it or something...