Some people just don't understand.

DAVALJO2 Posted: Aug 25, 2005 02:41 PM

Some people just don't understand.

One of my BM has been dating this guy for a few months, and now she expects me to invite him to the wedding. I already told her if i let her bring a date, then i would have to let the whole bridal party bring dates too. She got very upset, and told my sister that if her boyfriend can't come then she won't be a BM.
I don't even like the guy. So what should i do?
just let her bring her date, or forget her?

N.Y.bride Posted: Aug 25, 2005 02:50 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

I say forget her. If you are not inviting boyfriends then thats that! If you offer to let her pay for her boyfriend then youd have to do that for everyone else too. It'd just be a pain in the butt.

IMO - Its your ONE day and she could handle being without him. If she was close enough to be a BM in your wedding she should understand.

By the way - I let one loose before the wedding. My bridal party was uneven, but it was better that way.

in whatever you choose!

Johnny&Maur Posted: Aug 25, 2005 03:05 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Now this is just my own personal opinion....I know to each their own, and things get $$$ especially if you are paying for the wedding on your own..BUT...i think the bridal party should have all been invited with a guest. When I was a bridesmaid years back (in two weddings) I wasn't seeing anyone but was invited with a guest, so the option was there. I don't think she should go as far as to drop out..that means she is a little immature...but maybe she just really likes this guy, and would like him to share in the day. I don't think its a big deal at all. And i don't think if you suddenly let her bring a date, that all the other bridal party members will have boyfriends. Does that make sense? Its not worth hurt/upset over one person.

divabride Posted: Aug 25, 2005 03:07 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

I voted to forget her. Even if she offered to pay for him, this complete stranger is going to be all up in your pictures and video.

becks23 Posted: Aug 25, 2005 03:13 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Hmm...I dunno, I kind of feel like - well, your bridal party is spending $$ on your wedding - getting a dress, shoes, possibly contributing to the shower - that they should be allowed to bring a guest....esp if it is someone they have been dating for a few month. JMO.

DMcK Posted: Aug 25, 2005 03:20 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

We invited all of our bridal party with a guest, and whenever I have been a BM, I have been invited with a guest, whether or not I was with someone seriosuly. IMO, I think with the $ they put out, you should invite bridal party with a guest.

allymike Posted: Aug 25, 2005 03:27 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Personally, I agree that the bridal party should definitely be invited with a guest...escpecially if they are dating someone. Even if it is for only a few months. Even the ones who don't have steady girl/boyfriends we invited with guests. They are supposed to be the special people in your life, not to mention that they are spending money on dresses, tuxes, etc. JMO

GoingNutty Posted: Aug 25, 2005 03:30 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Friends of ours did this and while it didn't affect me, my other friends were very upset that they weren't invited with a guest (especially the ones in the bridal party)... Whether they wanted to bring someone or not the option was taken away. While I understand its expensive, I personally think anyone over 18 should be invited with a guest.

BHW Posted: Aug 25, 2005 03:48 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

It looks like I'm in the minority, but I don't think everyone needs to be invited with a guest. We invited close to 300 people and there was no need to add to the expense by letting the single guests bring a random person to the wedding just so they have someone there. The guest list would really get out of control if we did that.

With respect to the bridal party, most of my BMs are single and I don't think any of them expected me to invite them with a guest. However, if everyone had a boyfriend and I had one single BM, I'd probably let her bring someone just to make her feel more comfortable. Also, if someone really didn't know nobody else at the wedding, I'd let them bring a guest.

I think you should do what you want and don't let your BMs threats affect your decision. It's completely immature of her to choose not to be in your wedding because of something like this. If it would bother you to see him there, then stand your ground. If it's not worth it to you to have tension between you and your BM, then let him come. Good luck with your decision.

exotica776 Posted: Aug 25, 2005 04:00 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Posted by allymike

Personally, I agree that the bridal party should definitely be invited with a guest...escpecially if they are dating someone. Even if it is for only a few months. Even the ones who don't have steady girl/boyfriends we invited with guests. They are supposed to be the special people in your life, not to mention that they are spending money on dresses, tuxes, etc. JMO

I completely agree.

ML110 Posted: Aug 25, 2005 04:01 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

i agree with most of the others.. i think that the people in the BP should be invited with a guest. they are spending a ton of money and time to help make sure you have a great day... they deserve to be able to bring someone if they want to. and really, they probably wont' bring a date just to bring a date- becasuse they know they will be busy with pictures and stuff so i think that you would be safe. like i said, the bp puts a lot into your day and letting them bring dates is a nice way for your to show your appreication.

Love_my_Freddybear Posted: Aug 25, 2005 04:48 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Posted by Johnny&Maur

Now this is just my own personal opinion....I know to each their own, and things get $$$ especially if you are paying for the wedding on your own..BUT...i think the bridal party should have all been invited with a guest. When I was a bridesmaid years back (in two weddings) I wasn't seeing anyone but was invited with a guest, so the option was there. I don't think she should go as far as to drop out..that means she is a little immature...but maybe she just really likes this guy, and would like him to share in the day. I don't think its a big deal at all. And i don't think if you suddenly let her bring a date, that all the other bridal party members will have boyfriends. Does that make sense? Its not worth hurt/upset over one person.

TOTALLY AGREE!!!!

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Aug 25, 2005 05:00 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Posted by becks23

Hmm...I dunno, I kind of feel like - well, your bridal party is spending $$ on your wedding - getting a dress, shoes, possibly contributing to the shower - that they should be allowed to bring a guest....esp if it is someone they have been dating for a few month. JMO.

I agree

tann22 Posted: Aug 25, 2005 05:13 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Posted by GoingNutty

Friends of ours did this and while it didn't affect me, my other friends were very upset that they weren't invited with a guest (especially the ones in the bridal party)... Whether they wanted to bring someone or not the option was taken away. While I understand its expensive, I personally think anyone over 18 should be invited with a guest.

Ditto

STIX1130 Posted: Aug 25, 2005 05:24 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

personally, i think that everyone over the age of 18 should be invited with a date. especially the people in your bridal party!!! i kind of side with her, id be pissed if i was told my boyfriend couldn't come to a wedding that i was going to be a part of.

Mrs.Z Posted: Aug 25, 2005 05:36 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

I would say let her, It might Stink, but are you willing to loose a friend/ BM over some guy? Extend the invite to other BP members and see what happenes @ this point I think its silly to stress a few more dollars after all the money spent so far, JMO

Dooodles Posted: Aug 25, 2005 06:05 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

We also invited anyone over 18 with a guest. I've always hated attending weddings solo and loved it when I had someone I could dance with for every song. But I dislike that she is basically blackmailing you by saying she won't be a BM unless he comes and would love to kick her a$$ for the stupidity in her way of handling the situation,.

PinkSoil Posted: Aug 25, 2005 06:50 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

Maybe the bridal party should be invited to bring a guest, maybe not... the point is, you have your personal reasons and you know your budget better than anyone, so you made the decision not to have these people bring guests.... If you cannot afford to have everyone bring a guest, than I would have to say forget her... This day is more about you than it is about someone who should be able to deal with spending a night without a date.

candb Posted: Aug 25, 2005 06:55 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

I would let everyone in the BP bring a date (except maybe JBMs). They are spending a lot of money, and should have the option.

akaMrsT Posted: Aug 25, 2005 07:09 PM

Re: Some people just don't understand.

I say forget her but NOT because of the no guest BP policy you have but because she is acting like a spoiled brat by saying she will drop out if she does not get her way.