One of my BM has been dating this guy for a few months, and now she expects me to invite him to the wedding. I already told her if i let her bring a date, then i would have to let the whole bridal party bring dates too. She got very upset, and told my sister that if her boyfriend can't come then she won't be a BM. I don't even like the guy. So what should i do? just let her bring her date, or forget her?
WedHead
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
Posted by divabride
I voted to forget her. Even if she offered to pay for him, this complete stranger is going to be all up in your pictures and video.
If she brings a date, that doesn't mean that he has to be in any photos - atleast not formal photos. I think BP should be invited with guest and I don't think other guests, not invited with guests, would take offense to this. Your BP are your special friends and family and they put a lot of work & money into being a part of your day. Plus, I can't imagine that they won't cover their date in the long run. JMHO
Marie0157
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
She told your sister(not you) and you said she was very upset when you told her she couldn t bring her boyfriend. . Sometimes when upset we say things we don t really mean,so I'd just drop it. I agree as long as she is dating someone she should be allowed to bring him.
DAVALJO2
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
I already had a talk with this BM who is also my cousin. We are very close and grew up like sisters. I already explained to her how hard it is to pay for all of this ourselves. I told her that if i have less than my guarantee, then she can bring him. If i have to pay extra for him that will be impossible. Is it unfair to ask her to pay for him, if i can't afford it?
curliegirl
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
forget her.
People need to respect boundaries.....I have been in a similar situation myself and it is really unfair for people to make things difficult.
The way I put it is this, if they were married I said: 'You had your day, they way YOU wanted, and if you didn't, that was your own fault. I am going to do it the way I want to do it'
Unmarried: 'When it comes time for you to go through this, maybe you will understand, but for now, this is the way I am doing it.'
ANA6178
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
IMO- just let her bring the date and save yourself the aggrevation.
jimmysgrl
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
Posted by Johnny&Maur
Now this is just my own personal opinion....I know to each their own, and things get $$$ especially if you are paying for the wedding on your own..BUT...i think the bridal party should have all been invited with a guest. When I was a bridesmaid years back (in two weddings) I wasn't seeing anyone but was invited with a guest, so the option was there. I don't think she should go as far as to drop out..that means she is a little immature...but maybe she just really likes this guy, and would like him to share in the day. I don't think its a big deal at all. And i don't think if you suddenly let her bring a date, that all the other bridal party members will have boyfriends. Does that make sense? Its not worth hurt/upset over one person.
Edited because I just read your updated one....I would definitely not ask her to pay for him. If she was alright with the 'guarantee' scenario then I would leave it like that. If she wants to pay for him and offers, well, then thats a whole other story.
Johnny&Maur
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
Posted by jimmysgrl
Posted by Johnny&Maur
Now this is just my own personal opinion....I know to each their own, and things get $$$ especially if you are paying for the wedding on your own..BUT...i think the bridal party should have all been invited with a guest. When I was a bridesmaid years back (in two weddings) I wasn't seeing anyone but was invited with a guest, so the option was there. I don't think she should go as far as to drop out..that means she is a little immature...but maybe she just really likes this guy, and would like him to share in the day. I don't think its a big deal at all. And i don't think if you suddenly let her bring a date, that all the other bridal party members will have boyfriends. Does that make sense? Its not worth hurt/upset over one person.
Edited because I just read your updated one....I would definitely not ask her to pay for him. If she was alright with the 'guarantee' scenario then I would leave it like that. If she wants to pay for him and offers, well, then thats a whole other story.
I think you quoted the wrong post b/c i never said she should pay for his plate...i wouldn't agree with that at all!
DAVALJO2
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
so basically u girls are telling me that it would be tacky to make her pay for him? I'm so confused.
Soon2BMrsA
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Re: Some people just don't understand.
Posted by akaMrsT
I say forget her but NOT because of the no guest BP policy you have but because she is acting like a spoiled brat by saying she will drop out if she does not get her way.
