Some Unfortunate Help

Hi-
I have not been on this website in a while, but I kind of have a sad dilemma. My wedding is 11/3/06. Unfortunately, last week I lost my mother to cancer. She loved angels and always said that she believed in them during her long battle. I was thinking of giving out angel pins at the wedding with a scroll and donating money to the American Cancer Society and Hospice care of Long Island in her name for the wedding. My faince has a concern that it will be exactly a year to the time she died and it might upset some people at the wedding. But I thinkif I ignore the fact that she planned everything with me for the wedding I am doing her a disservice. But on the same token, I do not want to get everyone in my family upset again.
Any thoughts...

I am sooo sorry for your loss.

I think it is a beautiful way to honor your mother. It will bring smiles to your family and friends as they remember someone who was so special and a huge part of your life.

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Posted by steflily

I am sooo sorry for your loss.

I think it is a beautiful way to honor your mother. It will bring smiles to your family and friends as they remember someone who was so special and a huge part of your life.

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Beautifully put... I agree with steflily.

I am so sorry for your loss and what you are going through right now...I cannot even imagine.


My friends DH's mom passed away a few months before the wedding and they decided to go ahead with everything because she would have wanted it that way..They did a beautiful thing in their ceremony with a memorial candle...yes it was sad but they honored her and she was with them in spirit on their special day


To you

Sorry for your loss.
One of my friend's father's passed away about 10 months before her wedding. For favors, they gave out rubber bracelets that signified a donation in his name to the American Heart Association. Yes, people were sad but that's a given. We all thought it was a great way to honor his memory and felt is was completely appropriate.
I think your idea is a lovely way to honor your mother.
Again, sorry for your loss.

I agree - you should do it....your mother will be there in spirit with you at your wedding and always - you should honor her!!! So sorry for your loss.

Thank you so so so much for input, I can not tell you how nice it is to talk to other brides and it also helps to know that other people go through similiar situations.

Thank you so much again.

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Posted by mlanier

Hi-
I have not been on this website in a while, but I kind of have a sad dilemma. My wedding is 11/3/06. Unfortunately, last week I lost my mother to cancer. She loved angels and always said that she believed in them during her long battle. I was thinking of giving out angel pins at the wedding with a scroll and donating money to the American Cancer Society and Hospice care of Long Island in her name for the wedding. My faince has a concern that it will be exactly a year to the time she died and it might upset some people at the wedding. But I thinkif I ignore the fact that she planned everything with me for the wedding I am doing her a disservice. But on the same token, I do not want to get everyone in my family upset again.
Any thoughts...

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I'm so sorry for your loss


I belive that is the most beautiful way to include your mom in your wedding... Of course some of your family members will shed some tears but it has been my personal experience that those tears always lead to laughter (once stories are remembered and shared)

we were planning a nov. wedding, my uncle passed away last month and one of my aunts suggested that we switch the month b/c my aunt is having a hard time and celebrating loe, and a new marriage would be extremly hard for her... So we agreed at first (before I knew the real reson I was put ou) we havn't booked our hall yet so it's not that big of a deal for us..

I am so sorry for your loss and what your family is going through

But I think to not acknowledge your mother on your wedding day is not fair for anyone involved. Of course people will be sad, including you. But it's a marriage and a new beginning and your mother deserves to be a part of that.

Do it. Your mother will be proud. People will be thinking of her that day no matter what (and you wouldn't want it any other way).

Good luck and may God bless you at this time.

I am very sorry for your loss. I think that is a great way to honor her memory. Just remember that though she is not physically there she will be watching over you, making sure taht yourday is wonderful!!!

so sorry to hear of your loss-tons of for you and your family.
This is a tough one-if you feel that it is something you would like to do in your moms name then do it. I think that it would be a nice token and memory of her to give to your guests. She is your mom and it is your right to remember her how you see fit. I can understand the thought that it may upset people-if you are worried about people getting upset you could give them out at the end of the night instead of putting them on the tables so that it wont upset anyone before the night begins...but i dont think you should change a thing!

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Posted by steflily

I am sooo sorry for your loss.

I think it is a beautiful way to honor your mother. It will bring smiles to your family and friends as they remember someone who was so special and a huge part of your life.

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I agree. I think people will appreciate where it comes from. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Posted by mlanier

Hi-
I have not been on this website in a while, but I kind of have a sad dilemma. My wedding is 11/3/06. Unfortunately, last week I lost my mother to cancer. She loved angels and always said that she believed in them during her long battle. I was thinking of giving out angel pins at the wedding with a scroll and donating money to the American Cancer Society and Hospice care of Long Island in her name for the wedding. My faince has a concern that it will be exactly a year to the time she died and it might upset some people at the wedding. But I thinkif I ignore the fact that she planned everything with me for the wedding I am doing her a disservice. But on the same token, I do not want to get everyone in my family upset again.
Any thoughts...

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First let me please express my condolences to you and your family at this most incredibly difficult time.

I understand how you must be feeling. We just lost my father in July, just over 2 months after we got engaged and our wedding is in February. At my mother's request, she asked that the ceremony and celebration not be sad but joyous. I respect her feelings but reminded her that the loss was mine as well. I feel that by continuing the planning and celebration, that we are honoring my father in GOOD times, but I cannot stop people from missing him. FH and I discussed making donations to various charities in his name. I plan on including his name in our programs. Do what you feel comfortable doing. As much as my mom doesn't really want it mentioned or dwelled upon, I feel like I would be doing him a disservice if I didnt make our guests aware of who he was when he was here.