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Something my mother said to me about photography...

prncssrachel Posted:

Something my mother said to me about photography...

She was asking me what kind of quotes I've been getting regarding photography for the wedding, and when I told her how much we want to spend, she wasn't shocked, but she did say, ' Rachel, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but your father and I have been married for 33 years and in that time, I don't think I've showed my wedding album to ANYONE except you and your sister. I love that I have the pictures that I do, but I don't want to see you spend all that money on something that will collect dust after many years.'
This kind of made me sad, like, ok, no one will see these. But then I started thinking. My mother and I are very much alike. We keep a few picture frames around the house with family, etc, but we're not big on the photo albums. Now, I know this is my wedding and all, but I really don't think that I want to spend the amount I was going to. I know we'll look at the pictures for the first few years, but I know myself, and I will not sit and relive the day through pictures all the time. I just won't. I'd rather live in the moment. So JT and I have been thinking about just getting a very minimal package now. Does anyone else feel this way?
The Original 2nd-time-around Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I so agree with you on this. I'm not sure how the packages work, but is it possible just to keep the proofs and get a few enlarged, to display?

I know when I was married, the photos were VERY rarely looked at, but I did have a few displayed. I kinda feel the same way about the video. I don't really see the need of this huge elaborate video production.
Of course, this is JMO
franksbride Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I feel the opposite...I constantly am looking at old photos...when my friends are over we're always looking at old photos of us on vacations and stuff like that. At my last holiday party, I think I had every photo album that I own out and everyone was looking at them...

So...IMO...photography was something I didn't mind spending so much money on...and from being on these boards, I think I'm spending a little more than I really should have...but if that means that I'm going to have beautiful pictures than I don't care.

However, I do not feel that you have to spend a lot to get wonderful wedding pics. It all depends on what you want and how much you're willing to spend.

If you think that your album will sit and collect dust...then do what you feel you want and choose a smaller package.
prncssrachel Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

Thank you franksbride for the opposing opinion because it's good to have perspective from other people. If I was like you, and actually DID take out photo albums, I don't think I would mind spending the money. But knowing myself and JT, I just can't see having this HUGE package for photography. I would rather put that extra money towards something like a down payment on a home, even if it is only a difference of 2K. I just think that I need to step back from the 'wedding' and remember to plan for the marriage. I don't know. Just something I've been thinking about lately.

Xelindrya Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I actually refused the 'parent albums'. Instead I got these folio things a fold out of five photos. We get out album and that's basically it. We asked for all the negatives.

I am a pack rat, though. I don't have any 'albums'. I have pictures aglore. But don't go through them often. I spent my money on the video instead.

Even that is only one for my parents, one for his and a one for us, plus the full unedited.

Just my experience.
franksbride Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I agree with your statement...and agree completely that the marriage is much more important than the actual wedding...and believe me, I am not going all out on my wedding...photography was the only thing, IMO, I splurged on.

I'd much rather put money towards a house than spend it on something for the wedding...which is why in other areas of the wedding I've tried to save and bargain for wherever I could.

Have you booked your photographer yet? Because if not, you can get a package that will better suit you.
MarciaD Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

This is what we are doing:

Have professional portraits of the 2 of us prior to the wedding. We know an excellent artsy photographer in San Francicso, near where we live, and we will have him make the portriats we give to family.

On the wedding day NO professional photographer, yup that's right. It was just tooo expensive. My dad has been an amateur photographer for years and did the photos for my sisters wedding. FH father is also an excellent photographer, and my sisters husband is a film producer.

We are giving one dad black and white film, the other color, and my brother in law the video camera to use on our wedding day.

Also, we are getting the table cameras for lots of snap shots.

IMO, I'd rather have a very nice scrapbook full of good photos that I will look at alot.

Also the photographer in SF, CA is very pricey- but we know his work and know we'll get great photos of the 2 of us.

Best of luck on you photographer decision.
prncssrachel Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

We have not booked our photographer yet, so it is good that we are thinking about this now. I just think that I will cherish the photos taken by my guests more. It's more real. I think we will probably opt for a few posed pics and then some photojournalistic pictures. I guess I will have to see what the photographers offer.
franksbride...I hope I did not offend you in any way. I understand COMPLETELY splurging on one important thing and budgeting on others. I think you're lucky that you find the pictures to be something that important to you, I think I'm just feeling a little lost these days Like, it's so easy to lose sight of the big picture for me sometimes. That's all.
franksbride Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

rachel...no offense taken

MarciaD Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

prncssrachel

I totally unerstand what you mean all the is crazy. Each bride and FH have different things they value.

I did not undertsand the photography prices

FH did not understand florist prices

But for HM FH was like-- whatever you what we deserve this and let's spend as much as we want

Each wedding is special, unique, and different because of the thngs that matter most to each and

Do what make you both happy and I think you'll be SOOO happy with the results!!!
jlm2004 Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I went into this thinking photography is one of the most important things to think about and was not going to skimp.
this is when I thought I'd get everything I wanted (my album with 50-70 pics, 2 parent's album and a few 8 x 10 portraits) for $3,000.

I really think we are getting taken for a ride here ladies. I know these photographers have to make a living but $350 for a parent album is obscene - most of them aren't even leather and they have 18 pictures in them!!!

My parents are spending tens of thousands of dollars on this wedding and they only get 18 pictures???

I am also really struggling to justify the cost and I've given up on video. I KNOW nobody wants to watch that (maybe not even us)

And then even if I spend the $7,000 a few photographers are charging - they still won't give me the negatives. And if the proofs are digital - you won't ever be able to print them in most cases (thought I don't think I would anyway)

ugh - so much anxiety on this one. I'm so afraid I'll be sorry.
My parents didn't get a photographer. Friends of theirs said they'd take photos and they have TWO pictures!! they are falling apart now and my mom is always upset about it (not that she thinks she needed tons of pics)
yabbobay Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I am not one to have pictures...of myself...around the house...so I wanted more of a minimal package...no giant picture...the biggest I got was 8x10 and I think its perfect...

BUT i will say that I am extremely happy with my pictures,..and I know that I would be disappointed and regretful if I did not get great pics...

so I think getting great pictures...can be balanced out with the minimum package...you can always add on and spend more moeny in the years to come...but you can't retake the pictures...
prncssrachel Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I still don't know what to do about this. JT and I are going to sit down and talk this over. We're just floating with a few things about this wedding and not sure where we'll go. I think I'm just struggling right now with what's REALLY important? Like, no one asks me, 'How are you and JT doing?' anymore. It's always, 'How are the plans for the big day?' Like, who cares how they are? Were you really going to help me if they were going poorly? Just ask me how WE'RE doing. ARGH.

teachertime Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I totally agree and being a second time bride I went into this wedding planning from a completely different perspective. I already knew what was 'too' much money and I knew that once you lable something a wedding most vendors increase the nromal price by 300%.

I am very into photography and even once told my FI that if we eloped I would bring a photogrpaher with us, however when I saw some of the prices I was floored! I even posted that on this site and was told that $4000 is 'not an outrageuous price for pictures'. Well , let me tell you, when you have a house and kids $4000 is ALOT to spend on pictures.

So I went in search of what I wanted and I found it. My photographer is charging me for proofs and negatives and that it is. He told me he is not into the 'wedding photography' thing. He is just a photographer and you do what you want with the pictures. I also learned through many sources that it does not cost thousands of dollars to make an album or get enlargements. My photographer gave me the names of reputable photo studios in NYC and LI that will make me an album and do enlargements if you have the negatives. Just to give you an example, most photograpgers will charge you up to $300 for a 16 x 20 enlargement. Well, I called one and they charge $60 for an enlargement of 16 x 20! That is what they charge these photographers and then they turn around and charge you $300.

So basically, I am going to spend approx. $500 on the album and the eight enlargements that I want.

Just saying, those who have a budget, it pays to do a little research and know what is 'too much'. and find what you want.

Good luck in your decision prncssrachel!!

Chris
Sassy Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

Everyone is different, yo have to do what is important to you.
I spent about$6000 on video+photography. BUt I look at my Proofs every single day, and am so extremley happy with them, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I have my unedited video, and yes, I watch the entire 6 hours at least once a week.
So many ppl have been over anxious to see the pictures and the video, even though I don't have the edited version yet and I warn them how long it is.
So for me it was 100% worth it, b/c I get to relive the best day of my life over and over again.

I say this to say it's not for everyone, but for those like me who treasure the memories and want to relive it over and over again, it's worth it. But only you know if the money will go wasted or not.
Think hard about the person you are, and whether or not you will put the pictures to good use.

Good luck with your decision, I know it's not an easy one.
Jen_n_Dale Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I know how you feel. We are not the type of family when you walk into our house there are all these pictures of our family. We just have the beloved family dog framed on our piano. I have a 2 pictures of Dale and I in our living room and one in the bedroom.

I am still undecided on what price package I want but I made a list of my must have shots (thanks to Shamma).
neen Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

Rachel--does your mother know mine? My mother said the same thing!!! My parents have been married for 40 years and she said that she has only showed it to maybe four people in the whole time and those four people were me, my sister, her husband and FH. She is glad to have it and she loves that she does, but to spend $6000 and up on pictures can be crazy. I got a great package and got the video and plan to have cameras on the table and will have more pictures than I will know what to do with. So, I think you are doing the right thing. Good luck
jenny2penny Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I feel the opposite too. I know I will be looking through them. Plus my FH and I have few good pics together &this is our big day and time for lots of professional shots.

butterfly20 Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

rachel- your mom sounds like mine... my sister got married 5 years ago, and i know she rarely looks at the album, but loves her 3 16 x 20's she has on the walls... I myself got a smaller album(30 pics) and 2 parents albums of 12( i know they wont look much either)...and then picked a bunch of enlargements instead, because those are what i can hang on the wall, or put on a table, and see each day passing by them. plus remember, you will get all the proofs from your photographer, so you'll have every picture, and there are always the negatives to reprint pictures if you feel like an album at a later time.... how much were you thinking of spending on photo?

BriBri529 Posted:

Re: Something my mother said to me about photography...

I am spending the most on pictures and video out of everything else and started to regret it and thought about changing things around. But the more I think about it, I think if anything is going to be splurged on it SHOULD be the capturing of the memories. After the dress, flowers, limos, favors, and everything else are done, all you really have left are the pictures to help you recapture your special day. I am a MAJOR picture person and know how much I love looking back at my parent's and other family member's pictures and videos. I want these for us, but also for our children to be able to see in years to come.

If you are not a picture person, then I say skimp on the pictures- they shouldn't be just left to collect dust- why waste the money.

I was actually going to go even crazier than I am already going by upgrading my video to a fully edited one and by upgrading the photo to a different type of album, but I am already spending enough and feel that it's time to draw the line.

Good luck with your decision!

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