Sooo aggravated and upset... UPDATE on cousins' kids situation

See update in this post below...

So... a gazillion people have a million reasons why they can't come to our wedding...

it's very upsetting because all my life, I've gone to other people's celebrations. Work people suuck. My bosses haven't even RSVP'd yet one week past the deadline.

And this thing with my cousins and their kids is SO upsetting and either causes a fight with my parents or my fiance. It's up to ME who I choose to fight with. All because they chose to change their # invited from 2 to 3 to invite their child. Which means that my other cousin will bring THEIR two kids. Which means that every OTHER guest will be upset that they couldn't bring THEIR kids. BUT if they can't bring their kids, they won't come. BUT we're under our minimum, and my mom is saying to let them come, and is NOW pulling the 'we're paying for the wedding' card and I want them there. ESPECIALLY since the last time this happened with my brother's wedding over the SAME ISSUE, my mom didn't speak to her sister or nieces for SIX YEARS. This is causing me such heartache and stress. The other thing is, all my life I've always imagined my cousins being at my wedding! I'll be so upset if they're not there... it just suucks that they'll only show if they can bring their kids. I have no idea what to do. I'm just upset that they're putting me in a position to get in a fight with either my parents OR my fiance over this.

UPDATE... I LOVE MY FIANCE. He made this SO easy on me! I told him what I've been going through all day (he works nights, so he was sleeping), and how the last thing I decided was that I was calling my cousin to tell her no kids, and I really thought I was on the same page as my parents, but my mom is so stressed over this that she hung up on me, knowing this will cause her to not talk to her sister or nieces for probably another 6 years. So, I didn't do ANYTHING while the situation with my mom was one where we weren't talking. Thank God. I told my FH the saga, and he just said... after a pause... 'How many kids are there?'. I said three. He said we can let them stay, if it means less aggravation for all of us - especially that this now means we'll meet our minimum since my aunt and cousins will be there now. And my mom's relationship with them will be salvaged! As for everyone else who asks, they're the ones who didn't respect our request. That's it. And on that day, I won't resent them being there because my FH and I didn't fight over it... that's all that really matters to me... US.

Thank you to all the girls for all your support, hugs and advice. You're all the best!