SOoo Hurt

So I just got an EMAIL from my apparent really good friend/bridesmaid who is pregnant saying that she is sorry that she has been lying to me but for the last 9 weeks her doctor has put her on bedrest and told her she can't be in the wedding. She finally decided now was the right time to tell me (3 weeks until the wedding!!!!!!) I have been telling my FH for months that she was going to not be there, but she kiept assuring me that she would!!

I am numb and feeling totally selfish. This means that my programs are wrong, my flower order is wrong, and I bought her a bunch of presents that are going to goto waste.

Is it rude to ask another friend (who has done so much for me with the wedding process) to be a bridesmaid?

I'm so sorry you are just finding this 3 weeks before your wedding. Maybe she knew how much this all means to you and was afraid to disappoint?

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Posted by Bobbys_Bride

Is it rude to ask another friend (who has done so much for me with the wedding process) to be a bridesmaid?

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I think that is totally ok. Your pregnant BM already backed out. And if that friend who has helped you a lot through the process is willing and able to step in as BM I think you should ask her! If she's helping you so much even without being a BM I think she would appreciate the honor.

GL!

ughh its aweful that she can come, but she should've at least told u as soon as she knew. idk why she would've waited..
i dont think it would rude to ask another friend to step in as bm, but would she have a dress in time??

im sorry that this happened. I think maybe she was waiting to tell you because she was hoping there was a way she could be there but now finally realized she can't be. I know it stinks, but I am sure she is really upset as well.

I dont know if I would ask the other girl at this point. With only three weeks to go that would be hard to get her dress and it would definitely make her feel like a place filler imo.

Wow- she should've told you a loooooong time ago, but I guess she was afraid to or something. Sorry-
And I guess I would ask the other girl, so you wouldn’t waste the flowers, gifts, etc.

Good Luck!

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Posted by BriansWifey


i dont think it would rude to ask another friend to step in as bm, but would she have a dress in time??

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The dress for the pregnant bridesmaid should fit this other girl. That's what we would have to see

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Posted by MrsC2010

im sorry that this happened. I think maybe she was waiting to tell you because she was hoping there was a way she could be there but now finally realized she can't be. I know it stinks, but I am sure she is really upset as well.

I dont know if I would ask the other girl at this point. With only three weeks to go that would be hard to get her dress and it would definitely make her feel like a place filler imo.

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ITA

I don't have much to add...I agree with the other girls. I think she probably waited because she was hoping things would change. I would ask the other girl.

Sorry. Ask your other friend - but you may have to offer topay for the dress since its so last minute. It will turn out ok.

I understand your point but I really think that she was REALLY trying to be there for you. I bet it was hard for her to break it to you that she couldn't participate. This is exciting for her and IMO I know that the programs are wrong and the flower order is wrong but this is also a very important time for your friend too... she wants to take care of her new life that she is creating. Sorry this is just my opinion. I don't think she meant to hurt you...


Totally ask your other friend to participate and let her know the story.

so sorry this happened to you. I would try not to be mad at her, things like the doctor putting her on bed rest are out of her control.

I think you can ask your other friend to be in the wedding, will you have enough time to get her a dress and such?

so sorry you're going through that she really should've told you as soon as she found out ... i guess she was postponing it because she didn't want to disappoint you.

i would totally ask your friend to be in it ... and just buy sticker labels to put over the prego BM's name in the programs (yeah, it won't be as pretty, but it'll mean you don't have to re-do them from scratch)

good luck!

I'm sorry you are going through this...

I think if your friend you are thinking of asking is truly a friend and you explain to her that you would LOVE for her to stand next to you on your special day she'll be honored and really understand.

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Posted by christine2010

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Posted by MrsC2010

im sorry that this happened. I think maybe she was waiting to tell you because she was hoping there was a way she could be there but now finally realized she can't be. I know it stinks, but I am sure she is really upset as well.

I dont know if I would ask the other girl at this point. With only three weeks to go that would be hard to get her dress and it would definitely make her feel like a place filler imo.

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ITA

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ita. if i were that friend who helped you out, i'd feel like a filler since A)it's 3 weeks out, why ask me now? B)if i was really wanted, how come i'm not first choice?

sorry but that jmho