SOOO UPSET RIGHT NOW!!!

So, two things that have me really really upset:

So, my wedding date is June 21st... We chose that date MONTHS ago and everyone knew about it! Now my aunt tells me that my uncle (her and my mom's brother) is insulted and absolutely horrified at the date that I chose because he realized that it's Father's Day! He says he probably won't come because he always spends Father's Day with his kids. I'm like 'HELLO! THEY WERE ALL INVITED TOO!!!' So my aunt spent the entire 20 minute drive from Bed Bath and Beyond to my parents house ranting about this. She is all like 'what were you thinking? how could you do this? you made a terrible decision! you're excluding so many people from coming! you better make sure to call anyone that RSVP's and make sure they realize it's Father's Day!'

Now, I hate to sound selfish, but come on, I think that my once in a lifetime event can trump Father's Day for ONE YEAR!!! The ceremony is not until 4pm, which gives plenty of time before hand to celebrate Father's Day with their dads. And seriously! FAMILY has to pull this ****?! You would really rather have a backyard barbeque than be at your youngest niece's wedding?!

The other thing that has me really upset is that we were talking to FH's grandmother today and she has informed us that she will not be coming to the wedding because it's too hard for her to get around because of her bad back and arthritis. 'WHAT?!' My mother had a stroke in 1996 which rendered her unable to speak and paralized on the right side of her body, and somehow she's able to be there! But fine, okay, if it's THAT much of an imposition on you, then I will respect that. But then she added that FH's FATHER will not be attending the wedding because he doesn't want to have to deal with FMIL! They've been divorced for 22 years, so it's not even like it's a fresh wound thing, not that THAT would make it okay either! UNACCEPTABLE!!! Absolutely completely and totally unacceptable! How could you NOT go to your son's wedding?! FH isn't that upset about it because he's pretty close with his stepfather, and that upsets me even more!

I just want to SCREAM! I don't get why people are being like this! And with three and a half months to go, I can't even begin to think about future snags! Sorry this was so long, but I'm SO UPSET!!!

you have every right to be upset, its all BS.....the date thing i can see people making a big deal over....not that i agree with it, but i totally see it happening....but if your ceremony isnt until 4pm thats PLENTY of time to get quality time in first......please when i looked at dates a year and a half ago i didnt know that was fathers day! i'm the week after you! regular calendars werent out yet that had those holidays marked on them! the only holiday i remembered to look up was easter b/c first we considered april!

people will never cease to amaze you.....just remember the people who truly want to be there will be.....you can control other people or their crazy thoughts

Please my best friend was giving me crap about having my wedding on a holiday, when FH and I were looking at halls. We were considering Labor day weekend. She said her husband would not go due to the 'holiday' and my response to her and to all others who would make an issue of the date was 'that is one less person I have to pay for!!!'
I defintely understand your frustration!

We're getting married that weekend too and it's the flipping US Open golf on Long Island and I have people frustrated about not being able to go to that...what are you going to do. Ignore the loudmouths and focus on the people excited for you and it being your day in general.

imo u have every right ot be pissed..not saying fathers day is no big deal but come on..this is ur wedding!!!!!! i really just dont get people sometimes

I can't believe they're being like that! It sounds like they're just making excuses. Like you said 'less plates to pay for' Maybe as the day approaches they'll see how unreasonable they're being and if not its their loss!

Understandable it's Father's Day...BUT....can't they celebrate being together at your wedding?

If we all had to think about EVERYONE when we planned OUR wedding, it would be nuts!

They should be happy for you; and be glad to be able to celebrate the day at your wedding!

Hang in there; sometimes, wedding planning brings out the nutty in people.

Ummm first of all he has pleanty of time b4 the wedding to do dinner, exchange gifts, or whatever...its not lilke the wedding is all frigin day,,,I swear people make a big deal out of nothing...Fathers Day come every single year...not your wedding day!!!

I'm really sorry to hear about this. I had a lot of issues with DH's family and their attendance. We wondered if his mother would show up because she has mental issues and his father, aunt, grandpa, and cousin (who all live near each other about) couldn't come. His father had finished with chemo about 3-4 weeks before and he told us that he was still taking it and he was too weak to come. So the rest of them jumped on the bandwagon and didn't come either. Meanwhile he had been telling DH every excuse in the book to try to get us to change the date, push the wedding back or not get married at all! Then we get back from the HM 8 days after the wedding and FIL calls and says he's feeling fantastic and better than ever. Suspicious timing, huh!

I think the bottom line is that there are always going to be people who get annoyed with something and don't want to come. And as upset as DH was that his own father wasn't even there, in the long run we were better off for it. He is a miserable person who is socially inept, and the others who didn't come are angry at life and would have just griped about everything the entire time. Not having them there removed the negativity of the day, and we had such an amazing day because of it.

So if there's going to be drama, it's better that they don't come, because who wants to listen to people complaining at a wedding?

My cousin got married on Father's Day and it was fine....people came and it wasnt that big of a deal.

Your Aunt needs to relax and I am personally so tired of people making something over NOTHING!! Stop looking for things to be upset about. Your Aunt must be very bored....

My mom and dad were married on Father's Day. They had no family problems and everyone was happy.

I think your family is just looking to make problems -- if it wasn't Father's Day, it would just be something else.

you really have such a right to be p*ssed!!! i think it's completely ridiculous that people are pulling this BS on you. i don't really know what to say! i'm just aggravated for you!

Hello date twin!
Let me start by saying that I completely understand how ur feeling!!!! I haven't had issues with it being father's day so far but here r some of the responses I got from my dearest family members:
1. it’s my grand uncle's Bday.... His fam is upset!! My cousin (his granddaughter) was one of the first ppl I sent a text to when we finally booked the hall and I was all excited and she's like aw it's grandpa's bday. I didn't really know how to react to that. Who gives a S*** don't u think wedding trumps a stupid Bday?????
2. How dared I have a wedding on a Sunday!!! Ppl r still really upset over it and I get constant remark on my total lack of consideration and understanding of social norms! Don't I know ppl need to prepare for a hard week at work????? I get that from friends too not just my stupid relatives who don't know better.
3. How dare I have the wedding in LI when all our family and friends live in Brooklyn and Staten Island. Mind u I am providing transportation for their lazy asses but that’s not enough!
This is only 3 out of about 100 more complaints. oh just remembered that I heard the Father's day remark this weekend for the first time from another family member, it was like a joke but it stuck there for a while if u know what i mean....
My point is that darling no matter what u do ppl r going to complain and B**** and there's nothing u can do about it!!! Relatives r like that it’s their job to make u miserable even when they’re perfect and u love them to death. The wedding is for u and at the end of the day even if u'll have 10 ppl u'll only care about the ONE person standing in front of u.
I'm still consoling myself with my own advice so in time u'll start to believe in it too

I think that's really selfish of your uncle. You're asking for one father's day out of the multitude of days he'll have in his lifetime. Don't let others get to you!

Thanks girls!
FMIL says 'well it's more food for us then!' (it's a buffet) And my mom, whom, as I previously mentioned, can't speak, gave the finger to his picture, which was kind of funny!
I'm just going to look at it this way: Even though I'm going to be a bit upset if they decide not to show up, I'll have my revenge when the pictures start to get passed around and they inevitably see them. THEY are the ones that are going to regret having not showed up, NOT me.

OMG,.... im sorry but that it complete and utter BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its not like christmas and seriously... they could have a brunch or lunch together if it was that important to them..

we are in a similar situation. We are having our BP that day.. FH and the guys are going to Mohegan Sun that weekend and returning on fathers day.. and already I know poeple are going to start about it.. but you the thing is all of his GMs are single and his dad and my dad will be with him (which is the most important on fathers day_ and if some people feel like they cant go.. they just wont go.. they are coming back that day early like 3pm so its not like they cant have a nice dinner with their family and like you said.. this even trumps fathers day for one year IMHO