Sorry Ladies 09 Crasher needs some help!

Hey Ladies,

So FH's step-brother got married a year and a 1/2 ago and we were both in the wedding party. We had a great relationship with his brother and his wife - we spent a ton of money on them...and now it's our turn to get married. But the thing is we don't have the same relationship with them anymore...they never call but when we see them in person I love them all over again. Plus they had a baby so they don't really talk to us anymore except for family functions. SO now my question is: Do you think we need to ask them being that we were in their wedding? It is his step-brother and FH said it makes no difference to him he is leaving the decision up to me...if we ask his brother I have to ask his wife too? Should I just suck it up and ask so there is no hard feelings?

If I do ask I don't want it to be like...We will talk when it's time to go get dresses and tuxes and that's it....I really don't feel like dealing with the extra drama? Any advice?

Also the step-brother and wife had a little girl who they think is being the flower girl...but we ARE NOT having kids at the wedding it's a Sunday night...so how do I work around that to...they can be in the wedding but there is going to be no kids?

grrrrr..please help ladies sorry so long, just dont know how to handle this one...because now they are starting to ask who the bridal party it and we have already officially asked our siblings but we were undecided with them...


Sorry so Long!

Well ....IMO if your relationship has changed I would not ask them to be in the wedding. When you ask them about the FG I would say we arent having any children at the wedding but we would like her to be the FG....GL!

I think that you are obligated to have both of them in your wedding.
Unfortunately relationships do change when people have children. Perhaps not as drastic, but to prevent hurt feelings and unwanted drama- i would just ask them.

Are they expecting to be in the wedding? Being that they have children, they might not want the expense. If they are, you might want to weigh if it's worth having hard feeling w/ your in-laws if you don't have them in the BP.
As far as the flower girl, I think anyone who is in the wedding party should be allowed to go to the reception, but that's JMO.

They have a daughter who they are assuming will be the flower girl...but we were planning on NOT having her...because there will be NO children at the wedding...Is that ok to ask the parents but not the child?

Thanks Ladies!

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Posted by SOTHISISLOVE53109

They have a daughter who they are assuming will be the flower girl...but we were planning on NOT having her...because there will be NO children at the wedding...Is that ok to ask the parents but not the child?

Thanks Ladies!

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Oh, ok, I understand. Yes, it's absolutely ok to ask the parents and not the children. Both of my BM's have children who are not in the wedding or coming to the wedding. I'm sure they will understand b/c there will be no children at all at your wedding.

You're NEVER obligated to put someone in your wedding party, whether it's a parent, child, sibling, whatever. It's a supportive capacity, and although people say all they have to do is buy a dress and show up, in reality, the wedding party does much more than that (even if no one else sees it). You can't be obligated to make people help you.

If they throw a fit about not having a FG, you need to decide if it's a battle worth fighting.