Sorry to Crash...quick wedding Q re: gift $

Hey girls,

Congrats on your newly taken vows or upcoming vows....as someone who's soon to be celebrating their 3rd anniversary; the day flies by; enjoy it & take the time to stand back & take it all in.

My Question is this...what is the going rate for a gift when going to a wedding?

It's been a good 2 years since the last wedding we've been to & I'm really out of the loop.

Not for family; or if you're in the wedding party, just in general.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thank you!

ETA: I know this topic usually causes drama...that's not my intention at all.

We've had this debate before... I think it varies a lot by person and how well you know the couple.

I usually give between $200 and $250 as a couple. Less out of state. 1/2 that if I go alone. Sometimes I purchase registry items instead of giving cash, usually up to the equivalent of that amount.

it depends on where too... I generally stick to about $250 for a NY wedding, varying slightly depending on the wedding (day, night, formal, rh). Because FH and I are starting out in life. My parents give $350-400 because they are settled in life.

A PA or New England wedding I generally give less, about $150-200 because they don't spend the kind of money on weddings us crazy NY girls do.

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Posted by MLAngelo

it depends on where too... I generally stick to about $250 for a NY wedding, varying slightly depending on the wedding (day, night, formal, rh). Because FH and I are starting out in life. My parents give $350-400 because they are settled in life.

A PA or New England wedding I generally give less, about $150-200 because they don't spend the kind of money on weddings us crazy NY girls do.

---

Michelle you speak the truth about people in Pa.!!!! I never dreamed folks gave that amount of money in NY, until Debi and Fred's wedding last yr.!!!!! It will be interesting to see what Donna and Josh receive here in Pa. I've been checking their Registries, but nothing has moved other than what was purchased for Donna's Shower. I know they don't have a lot of spending $ for their HM, so it would be so neat if they did receive monetary gifts at the wedding!!! Mary MOB

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Posted by donnasmom09

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Posted by MLAngelo

it depends on where too... I generally stick to about $250 for a NY wedding, varying slightly depending on the wedding (day, night, formal, rh). Because FH and I are starting out in life. My parents give $350-400 because they are settled in life.

A PA or New England wedding I generally give less, about $150-200 because they don't spend the kind of money on weddings us crazy NY girls do.

---

Michelle you speak the truth about people in Pa.!!!! I never dreamed folks gave that amount of money in NY, until Debi and Fred's wedding last yr.!!!!! It will be interesting to see what Donna and Josh receive here in Pa. I've been checking their Registries, but nothing has moved other than what was purchased for Donna's Shower. I know they don't have a lot of spending $ for their HM, so it would be so neat if they did receive monetary gifts at the wedding!!! Mary MOB

---

It must be an interesting dynamic having a NY and PA wedding in a two year span. I think NYers give a lot in gifts because we go overboard in planning. My friends in PA don't do half the crazy things us NY girls do. They look at me like I am crazy. My friends weddings have been so simple compared to mine. Its funny, when I go to weddings in PA my friends tell my friend from the BX and I to dress down. I went to a wedding in York where people were in jeans. Usually sundresses are more the appropriate. For my wedding I am worried about my PA/New England friends not dressing up enough. Do you think there is a big difference between NY/PA weddings?

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Posted by MLAngelo

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Posted by donnasmom09

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Posted by MLAngelo

it depends on where too... I generally stick to about $250 for a NY wedding, varying slightly depending on the wedding (day, night, formal, rh). Because FH and I are starting out in life. My parents give $350-400 because they are settled in life.

A PA or New England wedding I generally give less, about $150-200 because they don't spend the kind of money on weddings us crazy NY girls do.

---

Michelle you speak the truth about people in Pa.!!!! I never dreamed folks gave that amount of money in NY, until Debi and Fred's wedding last yr.!!!!! It will be interesting to see what Donna and Josh receive here in Pa. I've been checking their Registries, but nothing has moved other than what was purchased for Donna's Shower. I know they don't have a lot of spending $ for their HM, so it would be so neat if they did receive monetary gifts at the wedding!!! Mary MOB

---

It must be an interesting dynamic having a NY and PA wedding in a two year span. I think NYers give a lot in gifts because we go overboard in planning. My friends in PA don't do half the crazy things us NY girls do. They look at me like I am crazy. My friends weddings have been so simple compared to mine. Its funny, when I go to weddings in PA my friends tell my friend from the BX and I to dress down. I went to a wedding in York where people were in jeans. Usually sundresses are more the appropriate. For my wedding I am worried about my PA/New England friends not dressing up enough. Do you think there is a big difference between NY/PA weddings?

---

But definitely!!!!!! When I told my 81 yr. old Mom that I had to wear a dress that matched the BM's, she said, ' I don't understand that, we never tried to match anything'!!!!!! Some of the Wedding etiquette, like allowing the MOB to choose a dress before the MOG, I had never heard of. So, it's been very educational for me to experience LIW!!!!! When I told my cousin in Iowa, about our Shower/Wedding prep, she said they don't do things that way in Iowa, so it's really interesting how geographical/cultural influences affect Weddings!!!!! Mary MOB

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Posted by donnasmom09

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Posted by MLAngelo

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Posted by donnasmom09

---

Posted by MLAngelo

it depends on where too... I generally stick to about $250 for a NY wedding, varying slightly depending on the wedding (day, night, formal, rh). Because FH and I are starting out in life. My parents give $350-400 because they are settled in life.

A PA or New England wedding I generally give less, about $150-200 because they don't spend the kind of money on weddings us crazy NY girls do.

---

Michelle you speak the truth about people in Pa.!!!! I never dreamed folks gave that amount of money in NY, until Debi and Fred's wedding last yr.!!!!! It will be interesting to see what Donna and Josh receive here in Pa. I've been checking their Registries, but nothing has moved other than what was purchased for Donna's Shower. I know they don't have a lot of spending $ for their HM, so it would be so neat if they did receive monetary gifts at the wedding!!! Mary MOB

---

It must be an interesting dynamic having a NY and PA wedding in a two year span. I think NYers give a lot in gifts because we go overboard in planning. My friends in PA don't do half the crazy things us NY girls do. They look at me like I am crazy. My friends weddings have been so simple compared to mine. Its funny, when I go to weddings in PA my friends tell my friend from the BX and I to dress down. I went to a wedding in York where people were in jeans. Usually sundresses are more the appropriate. For my wedding I am worried about my PA/New England friends not dressing up enough. Do you think there is a big difference between NY/PA weddings?

---

But definitely!!!!!! When I told my 81 yr. old Mom that I had to wear a dress that matched the BM's, she said, ' I don't understand that, we never tried to match anything'!!!!!! Some of the Wedding etiquette, like allowing the MOB to choose a dress before the MOG, I had never heard of. So, it's been very educational for me to experience LIW!!!!! When I told my cousin in Iowa, about our Shower/Wedding prep, she said they don't do things that way in Iowa, so it's really interesting how geographical/cultural influences affect Weddings!!!!! Mary MOB

---

I went to school in PA, so its been interesting to see how different a wedding in Harrisburg, York, Allentown and Philli (and other parts of PA) are from each other, then compare them to weddings in Salem, MA & Fairlee, VT, & North Jersey, & South Jersey, & Southington, CT & RI. Everyone has their own wedding culture. No one except North Jersey seems to even compare to us insane NY girls.

---

Posted by MLAngelo

---

Posted by donnasmom09

---

Posted by MLAngelo

---

Posted by donnasmom09

---

Posted by MLAngelo

it depends on where too... I generally stick to about $250 for a NY wedding, varying slightly depending on the wedding (day, night, formal, rh). Because FH and I are starting out in life. My parents give $350-400 because they are settled in life.

A PA or New England wedding I generally give less, about $150-200 because they don't spend the kind of money on weddings us crazy NY girls do.

---

Michelle you speak the truth about people in Pa.!!!! I never dreamed folks gave that amount of money in NY, until Debi and Fred's wedding last yr.!!!!! It will be interesting to see what Donna and Josh receive here in Pa. I've been checking their Registries, but nothing has moved other than what was purchased for Donna's Shower. I know they don't have a lot of spending $ for their HM, so it would be so neat if they did receive monetary gifts at the wedding!!! Mary MOB

---

It must be an interesting dynamic having a NY and PA wedding in a two year span. I think NYers give a lot in gifts because we go overboard in planning. My friends in PA don't do half the crazy things us NY girls do. They look at me like I am crazy. My friends weddings have been so simple compared to mine. Its funny, when I go to weddings in PA my friends tell my friend from the BX and I to dress down. I went to a wedding in York where people were in jeans. Usually sundresses are more the appropriate. For my wedding I am worried about my PA/New England friends not dressing up enough. Do you think there is a big difference between NY/PA weddings?

---

But definitely!!!!!! When I told my 81 yr. old Mom that I had to wear a dress that matched the BM's, she said, ' I don't understand that, we never tried to match anything'!!!!!! Some of the Wedding etiquette, like allowing the MOB to choose a dress before the MOG, I had never heard of. So, it's been very educational for me to experience LIW!!!!! When I told my cousin in Iowa, about our Shower/Wedding prep, she said they don't do things that way in Iowa, so it's really interesting how geographical/cultural influences affect Weddings!!!!! Mary MOB

---

I went to school in PA, so its been interesting to see how different a wedding in Harrisburg, York, Allentown and Philli (and other parts of PA) are from each other, then compare them to weddings in Salem, MA & Fairlee, VT, & North Jersey, & South Jersey, & Southington, CT & RI. Everyone has their own wedding culture. No one except North Jersey seems to even compare to us insane NY girls.

---

Really?!!!!!!! If you want to tell me about how they do in these other locations, I've got the time!!!! Not sleepy yet!!!!!! Mary MOB

I usually give $300 if i go with a guest... $250 if Im really not close to the person...

Family and close friends I give more ($400 -$500)