Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
Original post by Xelindrya
Im sorry but I just don’t get it.
What’s the big deal about knowing when your shower is or is not?
If you think you’re gonna get one, great. Then you can be happy that these people care enough to throw you a little party how nice of them. This isn’t like Christmas where you’re supposed to pretend to not know who Santa is and then be all bummed when you find out he’s fake. It’s not like a surprise birthday party when you at least know the time range and just need the surprise, either. It’s a little party.
If you don’t think you’re gonna get one (like me), then there’s nothing to worry about is there? If someone came out accidentally and hinted I was going to get a shower, then I’d be shocked and happy. Not ticked off that they gave it away. If they then further implied the date, then I’d think of it as an upcoming birthday party for me and be grateful that there’s at least one day (out of all the stressed filled ones) to look forward to.
I just feel bad for all the family members, friends and bridal party folks who accidentally give out Shower information. I mean it’s not the end of the world. Why can’t we just be grateful for the friends and family we have? It’s not a conspiracy if they slip and tell you and I don’t understand how you can be so bummed out if they do. It’s supposed to be a HAPPY time not a disappointment.
So they told you, GREAT now you don’t have to worry about if you won’t have one at all.
I had no engagement dinner, we have no rehearsal dinner, we aren’t planning any bach parties and I’m nearly 200% sure no one I know will throw me a ‘shower’. None of that bothers me. I am glad for the family & Friends I have.
If I knew someone was going to throw me a shower and they slipped and told me info I shouldn’t know I’d giggle like a schoolgirl and the idea that I know. Kinda like when Mom used to hint heavily about where the Xmas gifts were. I didn’t open them the surprise is always still there, but it’s the fun pleasure of knowing some of the secrets.
Why does this have to be such a downer to know Shower information? What am I missing?
Seriously, Im not trying to be cruel I honeslty just don’t get it. What’s the big deal? Did I miss the memo on this? Can someone fill me in?
gilgo31
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
What a relief, brideinapril! OK - I just don't want to look like an a$$ in front of people who've just thrown me a party. Thanks again!
hbradio
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
I agree with you 100%. I know I am going to have a shower, and a small one at that. I am not having a bach party - just me & my sis going to a spa. There was no engagement party, and there probably wont be a rehersal dinner. Dont let things that are the norm for other people get to you - thats what I have learned. I have extenuating (SP?) circumstances in my family and I dont expect anything......
Xelindrya
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
Posted by ChristineC68
Most of us expect a shower of some sort and we know we will get presents at the shower.
So what's the big deal if we want to be surprised after the hosts and the guests went to the trouble of trying to create the surprise??
Maybe I wasnt clear... It's not the surprise that puzzles me.
Its the idea that it depresses or bumms people out or makes them angry at well-meaning friends or family slip something. It should be a happy thing not a depressing one.
I know it's supposed to be a surprise but don't you find it cute when they slip? Why is it drama? This is one of the few things related to my wedding I would NOT find drama about. (aside from unwanted guests at the shower etc)
This shower tradition is a 'bonus'. Maybe its just me. I expect NOTHING from anyone. If I want it I go get it myself. So in return I enjoy with great gratitude whenever soneone does anything for me. I never take it for granted or tradition (not that its bad) i just feel like wow.. honestly.. you really didn't 'HAVE' to do this.
so when someone slips up.. whats the big deal. Oh well, too late now.. just try to enjoy the moment.
If that makes sense.
Jan05Bride
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
I think 'angry' is a bit of stretch, it's more of a disappointment. Just because you don't feel that way about surprises or showers doesn't mean other people won't be disappointed if the surprise was ruined. I would be very disappointed if I found out about all the planning/scheming/work behind my back before my shower. The pure joy of the people throwing is good enough for me to not to want to know. Again, this is from someone who has thrown numerous surprise parties. When the person you are working so hard for finds out, it's disappointing. I wouldn't want anyone involved in mine to feel like they 'wasted' the secretiveness of the planning.
ChristineC68
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
Posted by Xelindrya
Posted by ChristineC68
Most of us expect a shower of some sort and we know we will get presents at the shower.
So what's the big deal if we want to be surprised after the hosts and the guests went to the trouble of trying to create the surprise??
Maybe I wasnt clear... It's not the surprise that puzzles me.
Its the idea that it depresses or bumms people out or makes them angry at well-meaning friends or family slip something. It should be a happy thing not a depressing one.
I know it's supposed to be a surprise but don't you find it cute when they slip? Why is it drama? This is one of the few things related to my wedding I would NOT find drama about. (aside from unwanted guests at the shower etc)
This shower tradition is a 'bonus'. Maybe its just me. I expect NOTHING from anyone. If I want it I go get it myself. So in return I enjoy with great gratitude whenever soneone does anything for me. I never take it for granted or tradition (not that its bad) i just feel like wow.. honestly.. you really didn't 'HAVE' to do this.
so when someone slips up.. whats the big deal. Oh well, too late now.. just try to enjoy the moment.
If that makes sense.
Maybe because they WANT to be surprised. How many surprises do we get as adults?? Not many and they can be fun.
I don't think people are ungrateful about the whole shower/recieving gifts part when they find out about the shower. I will go out on a limb and say most people appreciate all acts of kindness we receive and are capable of buying what we need so I don't really know why you keep repeating that point.
It's ok for anyone to feel what they feel whether or not everyone understands it. And what is wrong with being disappointed when the surprise is spoiled a bit?
Jan05Bride
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
Posted by ChristineC68 Maybe because they WANT to be surprised. How many surprises do we get as adults?? Not many and they can be fun.
Xelindrya
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
Posted by ChristineC68
It's ok for anyone to feel what they feel whether or not everyone understands it. And what is wrong with being disappointed when the surprise is spoiled a bit?
Of Course .. like I said no offense. Each to their own.
I just dont see it.. but I guess that's just the way I feel. Because whenever I find myself feeling a bit disappointed in anything I chastize my ownself. Life is so great why dim it any? Is it really worth it? Mind you, I still get down about stuff and get disappointed. Just not things like this, I guess.
At least from this post I see that Im not the only one who thinks that it's just not that big of a deal to get so bummed about if something slips.
*shrug* Again, each to their own.
nsgraham
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
Posted by gilgo31
But someone's post mentioned getting favors - is that something the bride is supposed to do? I didn't even think about that? I'm not even sure who is hosting my shower - do I have to get a hostess gift? If I'm not sure of the place, how do I know when to bring it? Ick, I didn't even think of these things - I don't want to show up empty handed!! Thanks for any advice..
NO, NO, NO!!! That was just be being obsessive - I saw the perfect shower favors and I got them for my MOH. You don't have to do anything! You're not spposed to do anything! Sorry for any confusion!
cocoa
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
i honestly don't think i will get one...which means that if i do, that would be the best surprise. but if i don't, then oh well... but still, i'd laugh if someone leaked one to me...
WinterBride2005
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
I will be having a shower. I personally do not want to be surprised. It feels kind of weird to register for stuff with the intent that I will be getting most of it at my shower. I told my mom that I want to greet my guests as they come in.. maybe have a brunch or something. I have to say, I don't think those who get 'upset' or 'disappointed' stay in that state of mind. I am sure it passes. No biggy.
Smolokoff
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
I totally agree. It shouldn't matter that much. I knew I was having one. My MOH asked me for my guest list like 6 months ealrier just so I wouldn't know whne it was coming. But then I found out everything... FH left an email open that he forgot aobut and I saw when, where, who, everything. I just pretended I didn't see it. Letting them think they had surprised me was fun. And they even had a few tricks up their sleeves that wound up surprising me anyway.
glamourgirl1974
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Re: Sorry to say this but.. whats the big deal? Showers? (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE)
I also agree 100% I have no idea when my shower is and it is half the fun. I keep wondering what weekend it will be and how my FI will get me there- I mean I know I am having one- my mother asked me for the names and address's of my friends- and i keep checking my registry so in one way I am trying to figure out when my shower is and another way I really want to keep it a surprise!
