SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

I have been soooooo back and forth with figuring out the timing of my wedding and it's stressing me out. My amazing photographer has had numerous 30 minute phone conversations with me trying to help me figure this oout.

-My church is at 1:30 and we are having a ceremony so we should be done around 2:15
-My photographer asked if we are having a receiving line, we are Italian so I 100% know we have to so we should be done with that around 2:35/2:45
-Then we need to take pictures at the church and that'll be done around 3
-I want to take pictures at Old Westbury Gardens so that's a 20 minute drive so we would arrive there by 3:30 and we will be done at 5pm
-Arrive at Inn at New Hyde Park by 5:30 and then take family pictures for an hour so we will be done around 6:30pm

So, originally we had our cocktail hour begin at 7pm but I then thought the break was way too long and I changed it to 6pm and now it seems like I have to push it back to 6:30pm or 7pm if we want a little time to relax.

Is this break TOO long? My fiance does not care about paying overtime for everyone because we want to enjoy our day and make sure everything isn't rush rush rush. My photographer said 6:30pm would be ideal but 7pm would be better.

Help :(

Re: SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

I say, 7pm.
7pm is better...7pm it is.

The one thing I'm learning through this process...I have to start thinking of myself and my FH. Everyone else can figure it out. It's about what works for US.

That's just my vote.

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

If you want to make your cocktail hour, I think 7 pm would be the way to go.

However, from a guest's standpoint, it doesn't seem ideal. If your ceremony starts at 1:30 and your cocktail hour doesn't start until 7, that's almost 6 hours of people being out before the reception begins. Yes you have the actual ceremony and pictures in between so people would be gone from the church, the latest, at 3. That' still leaves 4 hours of dead time.

Do these people have a place to go? I know some venues let guests come early and hang out at the bar until it's time for cocktail hour. I also know people who have invited guests back to their houses/hotel rooms as a place to stay before cocktail hour begins. And then there's the people who just go home and wait. We've done that before as well because our house was close to the venue. So we had several people come back and hang out at our house until cocktail hour.

If none of these ideas are options for you, I would consider bumping up the cocktail hour knowing that your probably will most most if not all of it, but have the comfort of knowing your guests will be happy and okay.

Re: SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

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Posted by chrisandwill2015

I say, 7pm.
7pm is better...7pm it is.

The one thing I'm learning through this process...I have to start thinking of myself and my FH. Everyone else can figure it out. It's about what works for US.

That's just my vote.

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This is very true too! I also have to start getting a little selfish because I admit, I think about other people before I think of myself as you can see in my post. But idk...yes you need to be 100% happy. You are also still a host and a happy wedding also has happy guests.

I hope everything works out for you!

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

My mother and my fiance's mother will be inviting everyone back to each house so that everyone has somewhere to go and the Inn at New Hyde Park has hospitality hour an hour before our cocktail hour begins.

I know the big gap is not ideal, but I am so worried about getting all our important pictures done and then being rushed.

My fiance is adamant about attending cocktail hour, he said he will do anything he can to be there because according to him it's the only thing he likes about weddings haha

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

Can you do an 1 1/2 hour cocktail hour? That way your guests will not be waiting as long, and you and FH can still be part of it when you finish your pictures? It may be a bit much for your guests to hang around all day at your family/FH family houses. You may feel rushed no matter what time you start it - if there is traffic, bad weather, etc the timeline may not be so exact.

You know your guests best. If it's mostly family and you think they'll be fine, do whats best for you. Our church is at 2:30 and cocktail hour at 6:30. We know there will be some people coming from out east who may not be staying over, which leaves them with 2 1/2-ish hours with nothing to do. I'm not thrilled about this but it's only a few guests as compared to the majority who are from the area. If it was opposite I may have had to figure something else out.

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

I feel that when there is such a large time gap, people tend not to go to the ceremony and just show up for the reception, which in my opinion is just incredibly rude. Your FH is correct, the cocktail hour is the most important part :)

The wedding is Labor day weekend, correct? If so, do what you want and the guests will have to figure it out. I have been to a dozen weddings with long gaps and we found a bar or hotel to go hang in for a few hours!

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

Yes, it's the Sunday before Labor Day. My mom, his mom, my fiancé and my photographer are all saying just do 7pm and that everyone else will figure it out and that it'll all be okay. I would be happier with it starting at 7pm. Almost everyone is on Long Island so I know most people would either go to my mom's or to my fiancé's parents or just go home and change and relax between the break.

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

Double post

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

Do what makes YOU happy. Everyone else will figure it out. Our church time and reception time were set in stone. So no matter the time gap, it was what it was. People understand that when the ceremony is in a church, there's always a gap. And it's very nice of your mom and FMIL to offer to have people at their house in between. Between that and the hospitality hour, I wouldn't worry about it. You shouldn't have to be stressed. It's YOUR day!

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

I just emailed my coordinator asking her if we can change the time of the cocktail hour to 7pm. Hopefully she doesn't mind changing it back and that all goes well. :)

SOS! I need help with picking out what time to start my cocktail hour.

You honestly can't worry about everyone else. My cousins wedding was at 10:30am and it was an hour from the hotel. Cocktail hour wasn't until 6pm and it was an hour back to the hotel and then 30 minutes from there. There was nothing set up for anyone inbetween. Oh and this was on the 4th of July. Do what's best for the two of you, it's your day!