Southern weddings?

i'm going to a southern wedding next month in South Carolina. I am driving down there, etc, etc BUT wondering about the gift giving part.

I realize I can give what I want (money wise) but do you honestly think going rates are the same as NY? So in other words, would $150 be considered generous (for myself)? Plus, i'm not super close to the couple if that makes a difference and I am paying for the whole trip down there and back.

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Posted by o17range

Southern weddings are a lot more modest than the NY extravaganzas you are accustomed to. Of course it depends on the family (like if they are all transplated NYers, then give a NY gift) but if they are a true southern family, you'd probably (and honestly) make member of the family look BAD by giving that amount of gift. It is still tradition down here to give a gift from the registry--and in most cases a $75 gift would be towards the top of the 'Most Generous' pile. Many southern weddings do not serve a meal--it may just be cake and punch--or if it is a meal, unless it's at a hotel, in many instances it will be a buffet. And forget about a lavish cocktail hour--if there is ANY alcohol (I'm still amazed by the number of 'dry' weddings that we do), it will be accompanied by something more simple like a fruit display, crudite and/or cubed cheeses. I don't mean to put down a Southern wedding--we've done a number that were absolutely BEAUTIFUL, but I did just want to give you a basis for your expectations. My first few were a shock to help plan. I hope this helps!

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they are misplaced NY'ers and are supposedly having it at a fancy shmancy hotel on a Saturday night. I am so curious to see what it's going to be like lol. Plus, the whole bride's side of the family is 100% italian...i cannot imagine there being no alcohol ( I am part italian too :D).

The bride actually passed a comment to me too saying I'm not sure what a NY wedding is going for but this is up there for Southern wedding.

It depends on where the wedding is. Most Southern weddings are cheaper PP then NY weddings...BUT we used to live in an expensive part of SC and trust me it was NOT cheaper to have my wedding there then here in NY. DHs cousin just spent 15k on liquor and beer alone for her wedding
My SIL wedding in Orlando costs about as much as mine did-a little less b/c she had less people but they didnt get half of what we did as far as amount of food and service stations.

So it does vary, tho most southern weddings the expected gift is something off a registry-I think that 150 will be considered a very generous gift to them

HTH

This is very funny because I was thinking about this last night!

Im from hawaii and have lived on the west coast.
We have never given a gift based on what the wedding costs. Thats the couples decision to have it at a fancy place and spend $$$$ or if its at a beach park... we always gave the same amount.
You guys will freak out, $50-75 per couple was / is considered just fine of a gift and not cheap at all.
I see what you guys do just for a bridal shower and think Holy crap... then I see what you give as a gift and its just unbelievable. You are very generous.!!!

I was at a southern wedding in GA last year, and my FH and I gave $200 or $250 (and he was in the wedding). $100 to $150 pp is very generous.

The other thing you can do is leave the envelope unsealed and bring a blank check, see how you feel once you are there, and give what you think is appropriate depending on how close you are with the couple or how formal the event is. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you there regardless.

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Posted by bklynbride09

I was at a southern wedding in GA last year, and my FH and I gave $200 or $250 (and he was in the wedding). $100 to $150 pp is very generous.

The other thing you can do is leave the envelope unsealed and bring a blank check, see how you feel once you are there, and give what you think is appropriate depending on how close you are with the couple or how formal the event is. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you there regardless.

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oy I have an uncle that does that but will never give over $50. It makes me think of him so I refuse to lol

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Posted by o17range

Southern weddings are a lot more modest than the NY extravaganzas you are accustomed to. Of course it depends on the family (like if they are all transplated NYers, then give a NY gift) but if they are a true southern family, you'd probably (and honestly) make member of the family look BAD by giving that amount of gift. It is still tradition down here to give a gift from the registry--and in most cases a $75 gift would be towards the top of the 'Most Generous' pile. Many southern weddings do not serve a meal--it may just be cake and punch--or if it is a meal, unless it's at a hotel, in many instances it will be a buffet. And forget about a lavish cocktail hour--if there is ANY alcohol (I'm still amazed by the number of 'dry' weddings that we do), it will be accompanied by something more simple like a fruit display, crudite and/or cubed cheeses. I don't mean to put down a Southern wedding--we've done a number that were absolutely BEAUTIFUL, but I did just want to give you a basis for your expectations. My first few were a shock to help plan. I hope this helps!

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I find a lot of out of NY wedding to be like this. Most weddings I have been to have been either a cash bar or a beer, wine, soda only bar. And if there is a cocktail hour it is usually about 3-5 passed Hors dourves and thats it. LOL my family is still going on about how they can't get over the amount of food we had at our wedding. They say they have never seen anything like that ever! LOL and I spent half what my cousin spent in chicago and had A LOT more than she did!