spin off from Shammas post...would you want to be sustained in a coma

I didn't want to take away from the specific situation that Shamma posted...but this is something that we should all think of. the girl collapsed at 26, so it could happen to any of us...


***how long would you want to be sustained if you were in a coma...

I want to say right now no more than a year. It would be way to hard for my family I think to prolong it...

that being said. How many of us have talked to our DHs about this? John knows what I want to happen when I die...but I don't think we have spoken about this at all...


***how long would you want to sustain your DH...lets say that no living will was made?

I don't think DH would want to be sustained very long...but I don't think I could ever terminate his life...I think just being able to look at his beautiful face would be enough for me...but is that fair to him?

We have talked about it at length. Gene and I both know each others wishes. Being in a permanent vegetative state is not living.

We both have living wills so that there is no question as to what we want. I think it is vital to have so that each person can make their own decision about their life while they have the mental capacity to do so.

One year. Both ways.

Yes, we have discussed this in length. Currently if my parents die, I inherit 3 children (teenagers no less). So death and what needs to be taken care of is big. That and I came close enough to death on 9/11 and realized how unprepared I was.

One year. I’d say my good-byes to him if he were in a coma and hope he was going to a safe place. I’d thank god he is going peacefully at least.

I’ve lost my uncle and my grandfather this year. Both DECIDED to die. We believe death is natural and should always be chosen over useless pain and suffering. Neither were in comas. Both had medical needs that could easily and cheaply be provided to keep them alive. Dialysis or other easy treatments. Both decided against it. They died within 24-36 hours of their choice. Im ok with that in such a peaceful way. I mean who gets to CHOOSE when to die? You can only hope that death will be swift and painless. Too many times it isn’t.

I don’t want to burden this world in a coma longer than a year. Let me go. It’s meant to be. Death isn’t a bad thing. It should be fought off at the cost of happiness and full life. We were not meant to live forever and we have no say in when and where we die. If such an opportunity arises I’d like to take advantage of that and be responsible enough to know that it’s mine (or his) time to pass.

My grandmother died of cancer. Was in extraordinary pain for years. They said she had 6 months to live, she lived through that pain for nearly 3 years. Then as the cancer literally ate through her organs and surfaced to create a painful boil on her skin she finally went in. They gave her drugs to dull the pain. She gathered her family and said “Im going home tomorrow. Be good, don’t fight, I love you all”. She died in the morning. Peaceful and without pain. Doctors were shocked. She could have lived longer, but why bother? She was free of pain and it was time to go.

JMHO

Well said, X...

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Death isn’t a bad thing. It should be fought off at the cost of happiness and full life. We were not meant to live forever and we have no say in when and where we die. If such an opportunity arises I’d like to take advantage of that and be responsible enough to know that it’s mine (or his) time to pass.

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on one hand I don't want to be a burden...but on the otherhand I would never want to let DH go...but I guess thats selfish...


I know that I could never make a decision without BIL and MIL...


you always hear the stories of people coming out of comas...I guess you just need the good advice of drs...

I think this is why living wills & DNR's are EXTREMELY important. It takes the most difficult decision out of your hands at the most difficult time. I can't always think straight if I wake up really late for work, I can't imagine the state I would be in during a life and death situation involving DH.

ETS: I didn't answer the question. One year for either of us.

One year...I knew someone who came out of her coma after 9 mos and today she is fine

I have done a lot of research on this topic for papers and such for school and one thing I must mention - I was told by a friend of mine who worked in a hospital for 7-8 years and she told me she NEVER ONCE saw a living will or a health care proxy honored. Now this is not to say that this is everywhere, just where she worked at at the time that she worked there. But before my grandmother died they disregarded hers as well.

I, for one, don't want to be sustained in a coma for an extended period of time but I honestly never put any thought into the amount of time that my loved ones should leave me be. I should talk to FH about this, although he doesn't like to discuss things like this, because I really don't know how he feels.

But I do believe that decades of 'living' in a comatose state is downright cruel.

If there was more than a 50% chance I may come out of it, I would want to be sustained.
If it was where there was no brain activity - do not sustain or resusitate if taken off ventilator.

I don't know my FH's wishes - I should find out and we should get it in writing.

(not to make anyone sad but my father, my sister and I had that decision to make. My mother died from medication her doctor administered for a blocked artery - there is a small chance that with this med people can have a brain anuerysm - unfortunately that is what happened to her and there was no brain activity. So we decided that that was the best option - she would have wanted it that way we think. but I know the lady in the news does have brain activity so it's a different situation)

It is always good to have these things sorted out before it could happen. Depressing but unfortunately it's a must.

mary

I don't know. A year is not long enough for me I think.
It also depends - if I show ANY signs of awareness or improvement - def. NO

If I will die in pain by you pulling the plug - NO

If I am the same way for a very long time and there is no hope, then maybe, but it must be a way that is painless. I don't want to go in pain.

I talked to John about this at lunch...and he said move on....but I told him I could never sign the paper to pull the plug...but what I would do is sign power of attorney over to his brother in this case...so i didn't have to do it...

I'm not sure that I want a living will...for either of us...there are too many uncertains...like is a medical advancement close...what are the odds of this particular type of coma...etc etc...