SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

libby2595 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:16 AM

SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

let me start off with: i LOVE my dh!!!!

i HATE his sister's taste in jewelry. he took her with him to buy my ring.

how would any of you handle the fact that you hate your e-ring? it's not a matter of 'size', it's a matter of taste. i also feel that he got ripped off. this is a very poor quality stone(s).

am i a total b!#%@ for wanting to replace my e-ring?

tia

ML110 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:23 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

hmm... thats tough... i mean you should be happy with your ring, but you don't want to make DH feel bad...
i can tell you that i had my e-ring reset after we were engaged for about 9 months. i started off with a nice solitaire, but then we were out one day and i fell in love with another setting- pave diamonds in the band. so, i had it reset- dh is fine with it and told me that was why he bought me the solitaire, so that i could change it if i wanted to as long as i still have the original diamond he propsosed with, hes ok with it

libby2595 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:29 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

Posted by ML110

hmm... thats tough... i mean you should be happy with your ring, but you don't want to make DH feel bad...
i can tell you that i had my e-ring reset after we were engaged for about 9 months. i started off with a nice solitaire, but then we were out one day and i fell in love with another setting- pave diamonds in the band. so, i had it reset- dh is fine with it and told me that was why he bought me the solitaire, so that i could change it if i wanted to as long as i still have the original diamond he propsosed with, hes ok with it

that's the thing, i just want a solitaire. i'm a very simple woman. i feel like a turd not being happy with my e-ring, but 'it's just not me'

maybe i can have it 're-done' for our first anniversay??

Meaghan729 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:32 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

I think if you are really unhappy with it - after all YOU have to wear it for the rest of your life -

what about taking the same stone and changing the setting? this way its the same diamond he gave you - just set more to your liking?

babybug631 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:34 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

I think considering that his sister had the input, he probably won't be insulted.

You really should be happy with your ring. JMHO

dancinmyazoff Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:40 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

Yea I honestly think that's a hard one. Even though his sister probably had an impact on it I'm sure he was just as excited about it even if he didn't 100% pick it out. Could it be possible that you could learn to love it? What is the problem with the diamond....color, cut or clarity? The main diamond I think is very important because even when people upgrade they usually just upgrade to a different setting not exchange the diamond.

MJDoc12 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:41 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

that's a toughie. i'd probably just leave it as is...and then when you get married...put the e-ring away and just wear the wedding band.

i know it's a touchy subject--but i think it's a gift...and shouldn't be re-set or anything. but that's just me. go with what works for you!

libby2595 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:42 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

Posted by dancinmyazoff

Yea I honestly think that's a hard one. Even though his sister probably had an impact on it I'm sure he was just as excited about it even if he didn't 100% pick it out. Could it be possible that you could learn to love it? What is the problem with the diamond....color, cut or clarity? The main diamond I think is very important because even when people upgrade they usually just upgrade to a different setting not exchange the diamond.

COLOR AND CLARITY

i feel so bad that i don't LOVE my ring. i am so torn!!!!!

i love this man, and i don't want to hurt his feelings.

beaviss80 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 10:51 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

ok, i was engaged once before and the ring was a mess!!! so i was honest and we got a new one. He really wasn't offended and admitted he wasn't sure what i wanted.

billandme Posted: Oct 20, 2006 11:10 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

Definitely talk to your Husband about this. :)

I'm sure he will totally understand. I think he would be more upset if he found this out YEARS down the road and you never said anything to him about it.

You might be pleasantly surprised

causeimb Posted: Oct 20, 2006 11:11 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

My e ring is not what I'd ever envisioned myself wearing. I always wanted something bigger but my diamonds are absolutely flawless and it's growing on me. I thought about getting it changed down the line, but I love it now

EGreene79 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 11:38 AM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

I don't know your FH, so it depends. My FH immediately said 'if you want to change anything that's fine, we'll just go to the jeweler. He said it would be easy.' If FH is understanding, I say just talk to him. I know it's a gift, but I feel like an engagement ring is something shared - I'm not so sure how I feel about the design being a surprise. It should be somewhat of a joint decision. It's ok not to like it - you should love the idea behind it, but you don't have to like the actual material expression. It's not like you're saying you don't love him because you don't like the ring.

JambaLady Posted: Oct 20, 2006 01:18 PM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

I'm in the same exact boat. My ring is a plain 1 1/2 carat solitaire. My DH also went with his sister to pick it out. I don't hate it but I don't love it. I would have liked a smaller diamond in a pave setting but he was so proud when he gave it to me that I think he would have been crushed if I told him I wanted to change it. Especially since he saved forever for it and completely surprised me when we got engaged. Also, even if he wasn't offended, I think his sisters and family would be insulted that I would be so materialistic as to want to change the style of the ring rather than appreciate the sentiment behind it. We've been married for a year now and every time someone compliments my ring DH glows. Seeing his pride makes me love my ring more and more. Maybe it will grow on you . . . or maybe in a couple of years you can upgrade.

SeptBride70 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 01:22 PM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

I definitely think if you are not happy that you should get another one... would you rather replace it and have one that you love or really hate the one that you have? I mean, there is no sentimental value if you hate what you have!

I would definitely change it-- a lot of people do that and you are not wrong for doing it... I mean, if you were like 'i want four carats' it would be different-- but it's style, quality, clarity, color, etc and that is all very important... especially if you plan on passing it down.

stephanielyse Posted: Oct 20, 2006 01:46 PM

.

SunBride07 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 02:15 PM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

I would just keep it and learn to love it because he would probably be crushed if you told him you didn't like it.

Shmar Posted: Oct 20, 2006 02:17 PM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

Hmmmm....thats tough.

BUT.....maybe you could tell him you don't like any of the settings that go with it, maybe that will prompt him to get a new setting. I have a friend who did that.

dante31300 Posted: Oct 20, 2006 02:38 PM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

I would have to agree with some of the posts here I don't know your FH however you do have to wear the ring so I would definitely express to him your concerns. I don't think you should tell him you think he got a bad deal that might bruise his ego but I would mention in a nice way that the clarity is not that great and you'd really like a solitaire. Tell him you don't want to offend him or his sister b/c they did a good job but picking out jewelry, especially diamonds is a very personal thing. In my opinion everyone has their own outlook on what they would want their ring to look like. And unless you are very close with his sister it's very understandable that she may not know what YOU like. I think he should appreciate your honesty and this way even if he doesn't agree with you then you don't have this bottled up inside and maybe you can come to some type of agreement maybe he'll take you back to the jeweler and let you speak with them personally. If you don't tell people what you want then how will they know?

HTH

OrangeGrl Posted: Oct 20, 2006 05:20 PM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

I was lucky...we used my grandmothers diamond and I picked out the setting with him and he went with my mom to have it set. I feel like if you aren't happy with it that it will bother you everyday until you fix the problem. Are you getting a wedding band to match because if so change it asap because your new setting might not go with it

HearzBellz Posted: Oct 20, 2006 05:33 PM

Re: SPIN OFF from 'snobby people'... e-ring question

Posted by libby2595

let me start off with: i LOVE my dh!!!!

i HATE his sister's taste in jewelry. he took her with him to buy my ring.

how would any of you handle the fact that you hate your e-ring? it's not a matter of 'size', it's a matter of taste. i also feel that he got ripped off. this is a very poor quality stone(s).

am i a total b!#%@ for wanting to replace my e-ring?

tia

No I don't think so. Especially if someone else picked it out that does not share your taste maybe it does not feel like 'your' ring.