spin-off to 'am i mean' (long!!)

Okay...so i ask myself this question alot....

so tell me...am i mean?

as you may remember, my mom has not been the most involved in anything wedding related. anything. its like pulling teeth to get her to participate in stuff. she came with me 2x to look for wedding dress. and both times was like practically begging her to go. i have no idea what is going on for my shower .

anyway, fast forward to my dress. i ordered it and i got the call it came in!! when i got the call, she was getting ready for a 2 week trip with my dad. so she says, oh, i would love to be there with you. but we are going away. take your MOH....

so i call to make an appt, and it turns out that i cant see the dress until 3 weeks out (b/c of my own schedule). so i tell her this, and i tell her that the good news is that she will be back in town to come with me.

her answer - 'oh......well....we'll see' i dont know what there was to see. so i kind of cut the conversation short so i wouldnt get upset

so now the wedding dress try-on is this TUESDAY (eeeek)....so i was talking to her friday night and i asked if she is coming on tuesday. her response 'whats tuesday?' of course that is her response...

so i remind her, she goes through her schedule and yadda yadda...it turns out she has plans to have lunch with her girlfriends that day...and she 'made a committment'

honestly, this is BS...so this is what i told her (am i mean??)

'okay, mom, its fine if you don't come. but do this for me....when you are dining with your girlfriends, tell them that your daughter is going to see her dress today for the first time, and you are not there...because it is just 'too much' since you are having lunch with the girls.'
i told her to see their reaction and to learn that im not the only crazy person who thinks this is kind of important.....

well, of course, she had no response and shut up.....

about 10 minutes later, she said she would come (but seriously...she is having LUNCH!!! and my appointment is at 530 in the city!!!!)

i told her i dont want to force her. but she said she would come

anyway....what do you think?? justified? over-the-top? mean??

oh, and please DONT QUOTE!!!

i agree with Barb... i would have been way more mean than you were.... and i would probably hold a grudge over this... im sorry you are going thru that with your mom

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Posted by NovBride10

I would be upset too. This is an exciting time for you and you want your Mom to be a part of it. Is there a reason she is acting like this? Maybe she is sad about losing you and this is the way she handling it? Maybe you should tell her how you feel and ask her how she is feeling.

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basically, when she got married everythign was simple. she did everything with her MOH. so, from her own experience, she doesnt know about this involvement from mom.

o well

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Posted by Clover23

oh nooooooo i don't think you were mean at all. obviously she doesn't 'get it' - perhaps because like you said she did everything with her MOH. it sounds like what you said was what she needed to hear to make her realize she was being a wanker (whether intentional or not).

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wanker

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Posted by little j

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Posted by Clover23

oh nooooooo i don't think you were mean at all. obviously she doesn't 'get it' - perhaps because like you said she did everything with her MOH. it sounds like what you said was what she needed to hear to make her realize she was being a wanker (whether intentional or not).

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wanker

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i knew you'd love it

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Posted by kristend

totally justified!

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i agree.... i am having issues with my mom too.... good luck and just enjoy the process no matter what

I would've acted like Barb said. I am so not the patient or fuzzy person, I think what u said IMO is under the fuzzy category. For me this would've turned into a huge fight of yelling and crying

At least now she's coming. Who cares how she ended up coming, as long as she does.

I would, tho, do something extra annoying when there, just cause I am a very passive aggressive person: I would prolong the whole experience and then would go to the accessories and try them on for hours.

lmao

that wasnt mean at all!!!!!!!!
if anything you were to nice!!!!

good for you for making her feel like a POS!!!!

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Posted by regy_k

I would've acted like Barb said. I am so not the patient or fuzzy person, I think what u said IMO is under the fuzzy category. For me this would've turned into a huge fight of yelling and crying

At least now she's coming. Who cares how she ended up coming, as long as she does.

I would, tho, do something extra annoying when there, just cause I am a very passive aggressive person: I would prolong the whole experience and then would go to the accessories and try them on for hours.

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hysterical. i am trying to get her MORE involved. not for her to run away screaming. lol.. so far the past 2 times we went, her response at the end of the day was 'it wasnt that bad afterall'....and im like, what were you expecting??? am i THAT awful? oyyyy