Spin-off to non-gifters question -- help with TYs?

So we had a lot of DH's friends not give us gifts, because where he's from (ahem, the south) they don't really give gifts at weddings, especially OOT weddings. Since so many of them spent considerable $ to come up to NY for our wedding, I wasn't really expecting more...

Here's my question:

What do I say on their TY? Do I reference a gift, just in case they DID bring one and we're missing it? Do I ask them about it just in case? Or do I assume they're not giving gifts at all (or doing it next year on our 1 yr anniversary) and just thank them for coming to the wedding?

Have you ever received a TY card where they don't reference a gift even if you DID give one? Were you upset about it?

I really want to finish these TYs up ASAP but right now I'm skipping all the non-gifters because I'm not sure what to do. Any advice would be great! TIA!

i say just thank them for coming and something along the lines like we wanted you to know that it was so considerate of you to travel all the way up to Ny from down south.....and something like We hope you had fun at our wedding etc.

Something heartfelt that you were glad they came!

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Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

i say just thank them for coming and something along the lines like we wanted you to know that it was so considerate of you to travel all the way up to Ny from down south.....and something like We hope you had fun at our wedding etc.

Something heartfelt that you were glad they came!

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Said VERY well!!!!

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Posted by Sarahgetsmarried

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Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

i say just thank them for coming and something along the lines like we wanted you to know that it was so considerate of you to travel all the way up to Ny from down south.....and something like We hope you had fun at our wedding etc.

Something heartfelt that you were glad they came!

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Said VERY well!!!!

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ITA.

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Posted by MrsJuneB2B

i'm glad you asked this - i'm interested in what other people think about this too. we have several instances of this very same thing. we're basically just thanking people for coming... even in the few instances where i didn't even get a card! though i wanted to be a little ... i don't know the word.. and not send a thank you... once the emotions got out of the way, i still want to thank them for being there... and i'll just leave it at that :o) good question!

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Most of the ones we didn't get gifts from didn't give cards at all either. I have a lot of 'absent' people that I know were there (I have the pics to prove it!)

I'm going to finish writing the gifters cards this week and then I'm coming up to NY for the weekend to visit (if anyone is around and wants to hang out, I'll be in Farmingdale Saturday evening while my mom's out at a wedding shower with nothing to do...)

I'll start sending out the 'thanks for coming' cards a little later on.

As a side note, I've come up with the PERFECT way (IMO) to fill all the space in the card. It mainly goes like this:

'We are so happy you were able to join us to celebrate at our wedding! Thank you so much for the generous gift. We will definitely put it to good use in our new home in NC! All our best! Love, B&G'

It fills up most of the space, so even people I don't know that well get a whole handwritten card! For people I know better, I write a ton more (OOTers get a separate message about how much it meant for them to come all the way to NY for our wedding). It's been a lot of work, but I'm excited about mailing them. I even got those new sharpie pens to use!

I have the same problem. A lot of family members who are local that came and did not give a gift. I don't want to send them a picture 'Thank You' but there are members who live in the same household who gave a gift and I know there is going to be a problem if I send a picture to one and not the other. I'm all for no gift, no thank you note. But I guess you have to say thank you for coming to my wedding, eating, drinking and not giving a gift. Sorry for venting.

Just send a thank you.

i would just say in the TY thats for being part of our special day!

MIL has not given us a gift yet, and im sure going to make i known when the TY's go out that i dont thank her for giving something she did not give..

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Posted by springsandra

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Posted by MrsJuneB2B

i'm glad you asked this - i'm interested in what other people think about this too. we have several instances of this very same thing. we're basically just thanking people for coming... even in the few instances where i didn't even get a card! though i wanted to be a little ... i don't know the word.. and not send a thank you... once the emotions got out of the way, i still want to thank them for being there... and i'll just leave it at that :o) good question!

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Most of the ones we didn't get gifts from didn't give cards at all either. I have a lot of 'absent' people that I know were there (I have the pics to prove it!)

I'm going to finish writing the gifters cards this week and then I'm coming up to NY for the weekend to visit (if anyone is around and wants to hang out, I'll be in Farmingdale Saturday evening while my mom's out at a wedding shower with nothing to do...)

I'll start sending out the 'thanks for coming' cards a little later on.

As a side note, I've come up with the PERFECT way (IMO) to fill all the space in the card. It mainly goes like this:

'We are so happy you were able to join us to celebrate at our wedding! Thank you so much for the generous gift. We will definitely put it to good use in our new home in NC! All our best! Love, B&G'

It fills up most of the space, so even people I don't know that well get a whole handwritten card! For people I know better, I write a ton more (OOTers get a separate message about how much it meant for them to come all the way to NY for our wedding). It's been a lot of work, but I'm excited about mailing them. I even got those new sharpie pens to use!

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i love your note - that's one of the hardest things to do is fill up the space for the people that aren't that close or that we don't know that well etc... i'm definitely 'borrowing' it :o) i'm also going to send out my 'thanks for comings' a little later on. two of the non-gift/card givers are close family members... and honestly, it's not exactly that they didn't give a gift... i mean, in this circumstance, you'd definitely sort of expect one... but it's also about the fact that they didn't even send a card or anything! grrr okay, mini-vent over. :o) i'm excited about sending our thank yous out!! it took so long once we got back from the HM to get our pictures from the photog... :o)

on a side note: that's so great that you're coming up to NY. how's NC treating you? if i didn't have a anniversary dinner to go to, i'd definitely meet up - bummer! :o)

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Posted by MrsJuneB2B

i love your note - that's one of the hardest things to do is fill up the space for the people that aren't that close or that we don't know that well etc... i'm definitely 'borrowing' it :o) i'm also going to send out my 'thanks for comings' a little later on. two of the non-gift/card givers are close family members... and honestly, it's not exactly that they didn't give a gift... i mean, in this circumstance, you'd definitely sort of expect one... but it's also about the fact that they didn't even send a card or anything! grrr okay, mini-vent over. :o) i'm excited about sending our thank yous out!! it took so long once we got back from the HM to get our pictures from the photog... :o)

on a side note: that's so great that you're coming up to NY. how's NC treating you? if i didn't have a anniversary dinner to go to, i'd definitely meet up - bummer! :o)

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Glad you like the note! You're definitely welcome to use it! I don't think we have any overlapping guests.

I'm loving life down here but it's so weird not having a job. I literally get up every morning and go to the gym like it's my 'job' -- it's going well but after 4 weeks I'm still not seeing the results I want. I'm going to give it more time, though. Plus I'm very slowly getting to know the girls at the gym.

For the one non-gifter who came from OOT will be getting a thank you because she even gave a card and apologized and said that she spent the last of her money on the flight. Shes amazing and will be getting a thank you

I had a non-gifter who was a close friend and I already asked him because I thought his card got lost (he has a lot of money and there was no reason)... and he said he 'forgot' and would send in the mail. Well here we are 2 months later, and nothing...obviously there was no card... Im still really hurt b/c this was a close friend. He will not be getting a card b/c Im still hurt by this