Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
Notwedyet08
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Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
I'm just wondering...do you find people here in NY (especially those familar with Long Island weddings) give bigger gifts than those in other areas??
I would say a gift is a gift; no matter where you live. BUT is that because i live in NY and know what typical weddings in this area cost? B/c that doesn't seem to be the case (at least not what i'm finding). I would give a gift of $200-$250+ up for a wedding. But my friend was telling me how she went a wedding in Baltimore Big 200+ person wedding. And the wedding gift she got them was a $40 vacuum off their registry b/c she said that was the least expensive biggest gift she could find.
Isn't the registry typically for the shower; and then for people that maybe couldn't 'make the wedding? I could never imagine going to a wedding at say Jericho Terrace and showing up with a $40 gift beween FH & I.
Is the covering your plate & then some just a NY wedding mentality??
DCgirl82
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
I have always covered my plate + some..
PhyllisNJoe
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
I thought everyone covered their plate ++ but it doesn't seem to the the case everywhere.
Funny, but I hear people who have less usually give more then the people who have.
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
First time I heard of giving $$ gifts is in NY.... Registries from what I knew we for shower AND wedding day.
FutureMrsTlasek
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
I am from Iowa and had never heard of giving people such large monetary gifts(cost of plate). Where I'm from, people usually buy off the registry or give money-maybe like $50 tops. I completely understand why people give large gifts here though...weddings here are insane!!!
Notwedyet08
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
wow! when she was telling me that her gift for them was $40 i was shocked!! Guess it's like that outside of NY.
Jennielee15
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
Giving money at weddings is a NY thing. For instance I told my mom (in Alaska) that my MOH was making my card box and she had no idea what that was. I'll be getting a ton of boxed gifts at the wedding!
dCa51899
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
i have friends from NC and they were telling me that they give actual gifts (pots & pans, etc) at the wedding...but i wonder how that works if the $$ of the gift 'covers their plate' or if that is just a NY thing....
CantWait2Wed
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
Gift giving is a regional thing. You can go to some parts of the country and people bring gifts and cash is considered inappropriate yet here you almost never see gifts at weddings
CantWait2Wed
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
I hate the pay for your plate and more thing even though this is what I usually do. As a bride I will appreciate the generosity but not focus on it. I would hate for someone to either not come to the wedding or stress about it because they are having financial problems. If we choose to throw big weddings we can't really expect everyone to give that much money...otherwise we should just charge at the door (note the sarcasm)
ChristineC112
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
My FH is from Rochester and one weekend I was up visiting him and reading the local paper, which had a section about weddings. Their newspaper said the average gift was $50 per person or $100 per couple. $100 wouldn't even cover one plate on LI. I'm not registering since this is my second marriage so I'm curious to see what happens in October with half my guests being OOT for a LI wedding.
mybabylovesmoi
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
Iwas at a wedding in NJ and a few guests from florida were saying that there was nothing left on the bride's registry. I didn't have the heart or balls to say people usually give cash around here.
Kuklitsa143
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
Posted by Notwedyet08
I'm just wondering...do you find people here in NY (especially those familar with Long Island weddings) give bigger gifts than those in other areas??
I would say a gift is a gift; no matter where you live. BUT is that because i live in NY and know what typical weddings in this area cost? B/c that doesn't seem to be the case (at least not what i'm finding). I would give a gift of $200-$250+ up for a wedding. But my friend was telling me how she went a wedding in Baltimore Big 200+ person wedding. And the wedding gift she got them was a $40 vacuum off their registry b/c she said that was the least expensive biggest gift she could find.
Isn't the registry typically for the shower; and then for people that maybe couldn't 'make the wedding? I could never imagine going to a wedding at say Jericho Terrace and showing up with a $40 gift beween FH & I.
Is the covering your plate & then some just a NY wedding mentality??
My friend lives in NY and got married at JT. She was telling me some gifts that she got $25 GC to itunes??????? REALLY????? or a group of 4 friends all gave her $60 dollars? Her own BM didnt even give gifts? NUTSSS
PhyllisNJoe
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
Posted by CantWait2Wed
I hate the pay for your plate and more thing even though this is what I usually do. As a bride I will appreciate the generosity but not focus on it. I would hate for someone to either not come to the wedding or stress about it because they are having financial problems. If we choose to throw big weddings we can't really expect everyone to give that much money...otherwise we should just charge at the door (note the sarcasm)
I agree. But I'm sure everyone on here isn't saying people HAVE to give plate + but it's just the usual. I've already told people who I know cannot afford to give that kind of money to bring themselves and that's it. I invite people based on wanting to share this important event with them, not on what they will give me.
HSsweethearts
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
$$ gifts are a NY thing. Many people give registry gifts elsewhere. 'Covering your plate' is considerate, but not required by etiquette. That's a myth
SimHawk8
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
I know some people can't afford to give that much but normally when I go to a wedding I give at least the plate value and then some. I know one girl who was expecting people to give 450 a couple and I just couldn't do it. I gave 300 which is generous. To be honest it isn't your guest fault if you overspent.
CantWaitMrsH
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
I feel as though the days of people 'covering their plate and then some' is long gone. I think it all depends on where you get married as well. In speaking with a friend she mentioned that she usually gives $100 a person. Future hubby and I tend to give more depending on the time, location, friendship etc.
But in reality we know for us our guests more than likely wont be able to cover their plate costs ... and we're okay with that! We're inviting friends/family that we wouldnt want to miss our wedding and we know we'll be friends with in 15+ years! So whether they 'cover' their plate or not isnt the end of the world to us ... if they missed the event it would be!
We decided that if we havent spoken/seen a listed guest in the last year they would be removed! Just doesnt make sense ya know?
Kiki22
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
I always cover my plate and then some! But one of my best friends (who's one of my BM and I'm one of her BM) is from PA and the give gifts from the registry. My friend who lives Upstate went to a wedding for her friend and some people gave $20!!
JessNicole7EM
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
covering their plate in other states could be like $40.
My friend got married upstate and she only spent $50pp before tax. So I mean in her case I could give like $80 and be covering my plate. Of course I gave a lot more than that.
some of FH's out of state relatives told me they're bringing gifts to the wedding I don't even have anywhere for gifts to go?! card box table.. no gift table.. w t f do I do with them?!
Jesebelle
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Re: Spin Off to wedding cost...what about wedding gifts???
It's regional. NYC/LI most people try to cover their plate in cash/check. Upstate, they give gifts. I think it might be the same in other places where the usual wedding isn't so $$$$$. I would think other major metropolitan areas have the same gift giving customs as we do. It's not the greatest custom. As others have mentioned, the expectation to 'cover your plate' actually prevents people from going to weddings. People will actually look up what it costs to get married where your reception is and find out the PP cost. If they can't afford it they might not come.
