Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Xelindrya
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Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Being that I’m a gamer myself I have a few questions..
What’s wrong with saying “I’m in the middle of something?” or “Just let me __fill in the blank__?”
I play games to escape from the BS of life as it is. It’s a harmless stress reliever. Kids these days are expert gamers. Our generation has to put in hours at work, life, etc. We can’t just sit in front of a TV all day. So if we play online games with interaction with the outside world we need extra time and concentration to really play up to ‘par’.
The purpose being gaming is to win. The game, the quest, the battle, the puzzle.. whatever.
I game.
I am up to 3am on Friday nights (the only night I don’t have school, physical therapy) and it’s MY TIME. Jim can do what ever the heck he wants. Mostly he watches with me and laughs, oohs, ahhs or just enjoys me getting frustrated when I get stuck. It’s a couple thing for us.
I hear so many complaints from wives on here with gamer hubbies. I wonder, does it really bother you that much? If so, did it bother you that much when you were dating? Or is this just like that football thing.. something that ‘guys’ do that wives can roll their eyes and giggle behind their backs. I’m a football fan too!
I think a lot of what the way we think today about men/women type activities has been taught to us at younger ages. Like, young ladies don’t waste time on stupid video games, that’s something icky boys do … which is turned into “why is my hubby always on that game?” and Only boys go nuts with football and games they aren’t even in and act like it’s life or death…. Which turns into the football widows.
Do you, any of you man or woman, try to actually see why it is your partner is so involved in stuff like gaming, sports or other things? Have you tried to see what brings them so much joy out of it?
Just curious
Butterflybride
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Obviously this is about my post. I actually made that post just for the fun of it. My DH is an avid World of Warcraft player and I decided to play it with him and let me tell you, I LOVE it. I play it even when he's not here! Right now I'm a level 45 Night elf and I play on the Lothar Realm. It's SO much fun. I'm certainly not anti-video games. We've ALWAYS had a gaming system in the house and there have been days (especially when I played Final Fantasy) where I played ALL day. I did the 'video game excuses' thread, like I said, as a joke, and so woman that DO often try to get their hubby to stop playing and are always hearing excuses, have an idea of how much time they'll have to wait for their hubby to get off. I definately think though that if you have a problem with your husband playing video games so much, that they should perhaps try playing the game with him one day. I think a lot of people would end up surprised at how much fun it can be. I only get annoyed at DH for playing games when we have other plans and he won't stop playing. That's honestly the only time. Any other time, I'm completely understanding of it, in fact, most of the time, I'm usually sitting right next to him playing with him.
Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
My FH is just a big kid and I dont mind his obsession with playing video games except when it takes priority over other things that should be considered more important.
tracyg
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
the only time I have a problem is when there is a sink full of dishes for a week, and he won't stop playing. Otherwise I have my own games I like to play.
Jax430
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by diamondgrlie
My FH is just a big kid and I dont mind his obsession with playing video games except when it takes priority over other things that should be considered more important.
Exactly! I mean, he can accuse me of wasting time on LIW just as much as I accusing him of wasting time gaming. It doesn't bother me that he plays..it bothers me when i'm stuck watching the video game channel all night, or when I can't talk to him or get his attention while he's playing.
Butterflybride
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by Xelindrya What’s wrong with saying “I’m in the middle of something?” or “Just let me __fill in the blank__?”
By the way, I never once said anything was WRONG with saying any of these phrases. My whole post was about depending on what phrase you hear, how long your husband would continue to be playing. I know the excuses so well, because I've used them too! DH was helping me write that and we were laughing the whole time. We were arguing the length of time each excuse would equal. I never meant that post in offense to gamers.
TwoBugs
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
DH can play whenever he wants. I join him if it's an interesting game.
It's just like any other hobby. The difference is, like the joke posted on Newlyweds alluded to, you can't stop playing a video game as quickly as you can, say, put down a book you're reading or turn off a tv show you're watching. So it only really annoys me when we have chores to do and I have to wait until he gets to one of his precious save spots...
bxgell2
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
I used to date someone (for 5 years) who was a gaming addict. It DID bother me, but mainly because we had a long distance relationship. I would drive 4 hours from Philadelphia to White Plains every other weekend, and then he would want to sit around most of the day on Saturday or Sunday playing his NFL games. Hellllloooo, I drove 4 hours to visit your arse, you better come up with something better to do than play your NFL game by yourself while I twiddle my thumbs in the other room!
TwoBugs
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by Butterflybride
By the way, I never once said anything was WRONG with saying any of these phrases. My whole post was about depending on what phrase you hear, how long your husband would continue to be playing. I know the excuses so well, because I've used them too! DH was helping me write that and we were laughing the whole time. We were arguing the length of time each excuse would equal. I never meant that post in offense to gamers.
Oh, you actually wrote that post? I just thought you had copied it from somewhere. It was very clever!
Butterflybride
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by TwoBugs Oh, you actually wrote that post? I just thought you had copied it from somewhere. It was very clever!
Yes, I actually wrote it . Thank you
Xelindrya
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by Butterflybride
Obviously this is about my post. I actually made that post just for the fun of it. My DH is an avid World of Warcraft player and I decided to play it with him and let me tell you, I LOVE it. I play it even when he's not here! Right now I'm a level 45 Night elf and I play on the Lothar Realm. It's SO much fun. I'm certainly not anti-video games. We've ALWAYS had a gaming system in the house and there have been days (especially when I played Final Fantasy) where I played ALL day. I did the 'video game excuses' thread, like I said, as a joke, and so woman that DO often try to get their hubby to stop playing and are always hearing excuses, have an idea of how much time they'll have to wait for their hubby to get off. I definately think though that if you have a problem with your husband playing video games so much, that they should perhaps try playing the game with him one day. I think a lot of people would end up surprised at how much fun it can be. I only get annoyed at DH for playing games when we have other plans and he won't stop playing. That's honestly the only time. Any other time, I'm completely understanding of it, in fact, most of the time, I'm usually sitting right next to him playing with him.
Yep this was a spinoff of your thread, but I didn't take it as you burning the gamers. I hope this thread didn't come off as anti-gamers. I just wanted to know what folks thought.
I agree.. if we have plans, I'm not allowed NEAR the PS2. Jim isn't allowed to pick up his PSP and neither of us touch the Clie.
We force ourselves to set boundries. No gaming while having dinner. Dinner is big for both of us. We made a promise early on that we’d be the kind of couple who sat and ate dinner together every night. No gaming interrupts that. We make plans and neither is allowed to break them unless the other agrees. We both hate to disappoint each other. It’s sick I know.
I end up scheduling “gaming time”. Jim has lately begun to disappear into the kitchen with the laptop (unless I’m using it for a walkthrough).
So again, my thread was only a curiosity I wanted to ask. NOT mean to say “hey leave those gamers alone”. Heck what you do in your house is your deal, not mine. But I was curious to see if others even try to get involved in their partner’s interest, be it gaming, sports, whatever. Your gaming thread just opened up a line.
JimmysBride
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Oh it doesn't bother me. I just think it's funny how absorbed he gets into these fantasy worlds - to the point that I can ask him a simple question like 'are you hungry?' and I have to wait the obligatory 2 minute pause only to get an 'I'm sorry, what?'
Initially, when we were dating it did bother me a little because it took away from alot of our together time since we didn't live together. But I got over that quickly. I totally understand why he does it and sometimes I wish I had a hobby that I could get so into that I can just lose myself for hours in. I've tried the games and it's just not for me, I don't have the patience for it. But, I'm glad he has something to destress with that doesn't involve going out to a bar or something like that.
Xelindrya
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
PS:
The reverse can be said.
Why is it always JUST when I start a level, the phone rings? I may be two inches from it, but I can’t just stop so yeah, I yell for Jim to answer.
After I have a saving point and get up to grab a drink, stretch my legs and then settle back when.. why does he wait until AFTER those 5-10mins go by to ask me to do something, find something, help with something, why couldn’t he ask while I was ‘breaking’?
And so forth.
AGAIN! I only meant this in innocent question. Do you get involved in your partner’s interests.
lilmrs
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
The school I work in has a program that teaches people how to make games so it gets to me a lot of times because at both work adn home I get '5 more minutes' because of a gmae and it is NEVER only 5 minutes.
Anniegrl
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
I'm against it because DH is obsessed with video games and doesn't know when to stop. When we were dating he was playing this game called Asheron's call. I'd drive all the way over to his house, only to sit there and watch him play that f'ing game until he had gotten to whatever milestone it was that he needed to get to. Oh and he didn't have cable tv, so I had no choice other than to sit there and watch him play or watch 3 channels of local tv. He'd be up until 3 am sometimes, typing away (while I was trying to sleep - the computer was in the same room). I thought that was incredibly rude and I came really close to dumping him. Something happened with that game - I forget what - the server went down or something so he couldn't play anymore.
Right after we got married we had a HUGE fight because he was playing Madden football online along with a bunch of other online games. I totally flipped out on him. He finally got the hint and has since scaled way back on his playing.
I find nothing wrong with playing video games. I play every once in a while too. When they become an obsession though and totally consume your life and threaten your marriage, it's gotta GO!
Butterflybride
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by Xelindrya Yep this was a spinoff of your thread, but I didn't take it as you burning the gamers. I hope this thread didn't come off as anti-gamers. I just wanted to know what folks thought.
I agree.. if we have plans, I'm not allowed NEAR the PS2. Jim isn't allowed to pick up his PSP and neither of us touch the Clie.
We force ourselves to set boundries. No gaming while having dinner. Dinner is big for both of us. We made a promise early on that we’d be the kind of couple who sat and ate dinner together every night. No gaming interrupts that. We make plans and neither is allowed to break them unless the other agrees. We both hate to disappoint each other. It’s sick I know.
I end up scheduling “gaming time”. Jim has lately begun to disappear into the kitchen with the laptop (unless I’m using it for a walkthrough).
So again, my thread was only a curiosity I wanted to ask. NOT mean to say “hey leave those gamers alone”. Heck what you do in your house is your deal, not mine. But I was curious to see if others even try to get involved in their partner’s interest, be it gaming, sports, whatever. Your gaming thread just opened up a line.
Okay, I misunderstood. I honestly don't think many women get involved with some of the things, like gaming, that their husband's are interested in. It's a shame too, because it's definately a LOT easier to be understanding of them playing so much if you've gotten addicted to a game as well. DH and I actively try to take interest in eachother's interests and it's nice, because you really shouldn't knock something until you try it. Sorry if I got a little defensive there before
Jax430
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by Butterflybride
Posted by TwoBugs Oh, you actually wrote that post? I just thought you had copied it from somewhere. It was very clever!
Yes, I actually wrote it . Thank you
Wow - that was great! I assumed it was a forward that you copied!
Xelindrya
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by Butterflybride
Okay, I misunderstood. I honestly don't think many women get involved with some of the things, like gaming, that their husband's are interested in. It's a shame too, because it's definately a LOT easier to be understanding of them playing so much if you've gotten addicted to a game as well. DH and I actively try to take interest in eachother's interests and it's nice, because you really shouldn't knock something until you try it. Sorry if I got a little defensive there before
No prob. I wasn't clear, my fault. But you know.. gaming.. such a sensitive subject!! haha
Butterflybride
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
Posted by Jax430 Wow - that was great! I assumed it was a forward that you copied!
Thank you
RedHead
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Re: Spinnoff from Newlyweds: Gamer Widows, etc.. 'Don't knock it...'
It doesn't bother me. Why because i am here on LIW when he is 'gaming'. And we do it in the same room...So we still talk and laugh about both.
BUT i think about my friends DH and i fell that some DH's take the game thing TOO FAR. They are attached to it by the hip. And if it is interferring or if your partner is upset about it..then the time playing games needs to start decreasing!
