Shamma made a good point about couples who pretend like they have the most perfect relationship, when they are obviously having problems. Do you know people who do this and have you ever done this?
I do know people who constantly talk about how perfect their relationship and how they never argue- yeah right.
I can honestly say this has never been me. MY FH and I have had our share of problems over the years and I do not sugar coat it. It annoys me when people don't own up to their problems.
I am not saying be an open book, but it is ok to say once in a while your relationship is not ideal.
nrvbrd
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
Cat you are so right.
When I was going through things with Fh, one of my GF kept telling me to leave. Now this girl has a baby from a married man. Now whose relationship is in trouble?
acp1101
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
It's always easy to call the 'kettle black' when it's in someone else's kitchen!!!!
IrishTracy
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
NEVER!! If I'm fighting w/ my husband I'm not going to lie about it.
What I hate is if you vent to a friend & they react so belittling!! Like oh I feel sorry for you. I'm like what the feck for?? I'm just venting...Everything will be fine in an hour!!! Like they NEVER fight!!!
butterfly20
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
i cant stand people like that.. everyone fights once and a while, its healthy to, cause otherwise people bottle things up..
so far me(knock on wood).. me and fiance fight and resolve it within a day or too..we always try and tell each other early before it gets bottled up
kmcwed
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
I don't fake ANYTHING.... not my relationship, not friendships, nothing. Why bother? It's such a waste of energy to pretend to be what you're not, or have something you don't have.
We don't have the perfect relationship or marriage. Who does?? DH and I don't fight, though. We have discussions about things when we disagree. Sometimes we get upset when discussing them, but we don't raise our voices. There's no point in yelling and shouting. It really doesn't solve anything.
It takes maturity and self control not to let it rip and start shouting at each other, but when you realize how damaging it is to the relationship, you make the effort to take a breath and just discuss things like the adults and friends you're supposed to be. We NEVER walk away from a 'discussion' like that without saying I'm Sorry and I Love You.
swags1016
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
Um not good at faking it -- I don't lie well!
We don't play perfect I think everyone on here knows that!!
I am no different with our friends and family- they know we fight and argue and are not perfect but what they realize or are starting to realize is that we have each others backs and we are a team!
Julybaby
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
What I can't stand is when I vent about DH (like I asked him to do the dishes and they're still sitting in the sink two days later), a friend would sit me down and ask me to think if this is the man I want to marry. Hello!!! I'm supposed to break an engagement over dirty dishes?! Basically, I agree that no relationship is perfect and my DH is not perfect. But like Shamma said, I went into this marriage knowing some of David's flaws, and I accept them. I will admit that I got nervous during our engagement because there were times that I didn't have that loving feeling when I thought of him all the time, but my principal, of all people, who has been married for almost 25 years, told me that there are times when she is not madly in love with her husband, as there are times when she is. It's all part of human nature. Right now, 2 1/2 weeks after our wedding, I will say that our relationship is perfect, but I know that it won't always be that way. But I wouldn't give David up for anything!
Imagin916
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
Honestly, me and FH never fight, but we also dont live together, and since he lives 2 1/2 hours away when we see each other its like a vacation. I am sure in the future when we are living together, we will have arguments like everything else, but I know we will work through it.
mlp924
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Re: Spinoff from Shamma- do you fake it????
We are partners in this marriage and like in any business we fight. We always love each other. In almost 10 years, one or the other has stormed off to the couch only 3 or 4 times. Everybody argues or else they don't have anything invested in the relationship!
