We're all talking about our favorite holidays and when you're engaged or married you have to figure out who to spend the holidays with. How did you work it out? Since FH is Jewish and I'm Catholic, the only holiday we really have to worry about is thanksgiving. I always cook for my family, so I never want to go to be with his family, but they get totally bent out of shape, even saying we don't need to be together (my FIL' are insane). We argue about it EVERY year. It's gotten to the point where we want to host thanksgiving this year, and my family have said they would offer to have his family over except that FSIL is a real witch with a capital B, and treats me like crap, so....I don't know...How do you handle the holidays?
wc0143
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
For about the past ten years, I have hosted Xmas Eve for my family (so even before DH came onto the scene). Since we moved in together we have hosted Eve for my folks & grandmother then his entire family on Xmas Day.
Thanksgiving we usually hit my cousin's house first who lives nearby but have dinner at whichever one of DH's family is hosting. Easter, we usually just hit his family (since my family doesn't celebrate).
drewsgirl
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
Thats going to be a hard one this year since we are married now. I love holidays with my family so I know I will have to give in a little but CHristmas I know has to be with mine. My family does more and celebrates the holidays his dont really get all that festive. Not that there is anything wrong with that just not what I am used to. To me it feels like any other meal at theire house.
HearzBellz
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
we don't split them...we have them all at my house to avoid any arguements
FeliciaDA
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
Its difficult , but we manage .. it helps slightly that DH is Greek Orthodox and I am Italian Catholic.. some of the holidays aren't celebrated at the same time
For example, typically Greek easter and our Easter are on different days .. so that is never an issue (DH's family celebrates Greek Easter..) though last year was one of those cases that both Easters fell on the same date, hence the problem!
For Christmas, we spend Christmas eve with my family (I wouldn't miss an Italian XMAS eve for anything!!).. on XMAS Day, we have brunch with my parents, then usually go to DH's family for dinner..
FOr now, it works.. though I do wonder how much more difficult it will get once we have children and don't want to be running around to EITHER set of parents
nylisa
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
We try to split to alternate the holidays. Since FILs only do something for Thanksgiving, Xmas Day and New Year's Day it is not so bad.
For Palm Sunday and Easter, we spent it with my family at my grandmother's house.
For Thanksgiving, we alternate between each family (one year with my family and then the next year with his family).
For Xmas Eve, we spent it with my family at my grandmother's house.
For Xmas Day, we first go visit FI's godmother and then have dinner with FMILs family.
For New Year's Eve, we spent it with my family at my grandmother's house.
For New Year's Day, we go eat at FILs house.
june262004
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
All of my aunts and married Couisns take a holiday. I think Im gonna do Christmas this year.
ETA: Mikes entire family moved to Florida.
rvcpl
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
DH's family is in MD and mine is here. We flip flop Thanksgiving and Xmas. This year Thanksgiving is in MD and Xmas is here. Easter is usually up for grabs - depends if we feel like travelling.
BTW - that is ridiculous to say you don't have to be together on the holidays. You should suggest to your MIL that she try it and see if it matters.
goingtobemrs
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
Mine is perfect. All the holidays are with my family. FH's family has them the weekend of, or the weekend after the actual holiday. So we actually celebrate each one two times!
kissy27
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
This a big thing especially this year...
Thanksgiving is spent in Hilton Head, SC with his father's family...We all spend the week down there & have a condo on the beach...This is the first year I am going!
XMas Eve is at FH grandparents house with his family...
Christmas is my family at my moms but this year maybe difficult...My brother & SIL are moving Labor Day Weekend to Maine...With my brother's new job, he does not get any holidays off for like 2 years...So I think we might be there this year...
Easter we split & eat 2 dinners!!!
tray831
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
Only Holiday I split is Christmas Day, we are with his family, but every other holiday is w/ mine--
luckybride2004
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
This is an ongoing issue with us! We have (so far) managed to split them pretty evenly. We are both close with our families so it has pretty been every other holiday that we are spending with mine or his. We are Jewish so that means a lot more holidays.
This year we were supposed to be doing Thanksgiving with his family (we were with mine last year). Since we are getting married that weekend that kind of through a wrench in the plans. My immediate family is now going to FH's family and my Aunt 'changed' Thanksgiving for our family to be on Friday night. Since she was going to make it anway she figured she would feed our out of town guests instead. FH and I did not want a rehearsal dinner so this solved all issues.
We kind of did a smilar thing for mother's day - my mom hosted everyone (FH's parents, brother, aunt's family and grandma plus all of my side) at our country club. We spent father's day with his family.
Jax430
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
Oy...this has been an ongoing issue.
Passover is easy - we spend one night at one house, one at the other.
Last year, we spent Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur completely with my family and we spent Thanksgiving with his. We had the intent of switching it this year, but I'm not happy with not being with my family at all for the Jewish High Holy Days. I love going to my synagogue - I grew up there and have a lot of family friends there, and Brad's family isn't as involved in his. Also, we have a big family dinner the first night of Rosh Hashanah and with Brad's family it would be the 5 of us.
We're still figuring out what we're doing, and it's very stressful!
Kathy116
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
They're all at our home. It's great because I love to cook and entertain.
IrishTracy
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
My husbands family is in Ireland. So, the only thing we do is go there every other Christmas!
WinterBride2005
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
We usually ended spending all the holidays together- We'll either do dinner or desert at my family or his. Our families have also spent some holidays together. We both have small fam. who happen to get along really well.. so it works out perfect for us.
Boop2704
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
Before we were married, holidays were crazy enough for me because my parents are divorced. Well, now add an extra person we have to go see and its even crazier. We just go where we can, stay a while and then head to the next place. It really is a pain in the ***. I never get to just sit and relax on the holidays, always on the go. I can't wait til I have my own house and can have everyone at my house and we don't have to go anywhere. If they want to see us, they'll come to us!!
Robeymuse
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
My family is in NY and we live in St. Louis (his family lives here). Since I love Thanksgiving and he loves Christmas- we decided to split it that way.
2003fallwedding
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
Thanksgiving we usually just spend with my family (my parents have dinner at their house every year)
Christmas' have been very hard. His family never used to get together for holidays and now all of a sudden since we got together they decided to do get togethers. The last 2 x-mas's we had dinner had his sisters house and dessert at my family. X-mas eve is usually spent at my cousins but again, my MIL decided she wanted to have a X-mas eve party...so I had to split that day too! Easter is usually spent with my family.
I have no clue what we are going to do for x-mas this year
BCTM33
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Re: SPINOFF: How do you split the holidays?
I guess I'm kind of lucky. My FIL's live in Florida so we don't really split the holidays since my whole family lives here. My FH goes to his sister's (she lives in NC) for Halloween and his niece's bday...otherwise we trek down to FL once a year for a family visit in June. No fights about the holidays. I imagine this might change if we have kids and they want to see them, but they'll have to come visit us here - FH works for NYC sanitation and has a hard time getting off around the holidays...
