Spinoff: Is anyone not doing the Traditional First Dance

checka Posted: Apr 05, 2004 07:44 PM

Spinoff: Is anyone not doing the Traditional First Dance

FH and I don't like being the center of attention (guess we should have eloped ). I think that we can deal with the introduction but we both hate dancing and we both hate having all eyes on us. Everybody keeps telling us that we HAVE TO have the first dance together. I hate when people say you HAVE TO do this or you HAVE TO do that. Did anybody not do or not going to do the traditional first dance? What did you do instead and how did it go? We were going to have the DJ have the BP join us quicker than usual but that minute that we will be up there alone will seem like a lifetime. Any ideas?

samsbride Posted: Apr 05, 2004 08:08 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is anyone not doing the Traditional First Dance

So nice to know I am not alone in this. I really wish I didn't have to ance with my dad - we are not close at all!!!
FH has been a good sport and we will go for some lessons to try to be more comfortable.
Still - I feel like i am doing things for the sake of tradition that I do not want to do.
I'm already skipping bouquet toss and garter thing (garter thing REALLY not our style)
I feel like we have to do something.
We will also ask band leader to have people join us.

Unless they are good dancers - it is painful to stare at the bride and groom rock back and forth for 3-4 minutes!!!

lilqtny Posted: Apr 05, 2004 08:10 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is anyone not doing the Traditional First Dance

My cousin and her now husband walked in to My First My Last My Everything, and immeadiately following their intro the entire wedding was dancing with them on the floor, the D.J. said 'and now for the first time Mr and Mrs. .......' they walked in danced literally for five seconds (under the arch of boquets) and then the D.J. said 'they ask that you all please join them on the dance floor'
maybe something like that, it worked well because it was upbeat and everyone got on the floor, they did a traditional song following that but you don't HAVE to you don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to it is YOUR day!

regi Posted: Apr 05, 2004 08:11 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is anyone not doing the Traditional First Dance

Ohh. You really should do the first dance together. It is so nice to see the couple do the first dance together.

Fh and I are taking dance lessons.Maybe that will make the both of you less nervous.

Lorena Posted: Apr 05, 2004 08:12 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is anyone not doing the Traditional First Dance

We're not skipping the first dance (we are actually excited about it) but I wanted to say that you should do what makes you comfortable. I went to a wedding where the bride & groom looked sooooooooooo uncomfortable dancing alone on the dance floor. They barely moved and kept glancing around at everyone watching them. They did NOT look like they were having fun. I think that you only really need to dance alone for a few moments (literally just seconds!) and then you can invite the bridal party of whomever to join in. People won't want to see you uncomfortable anyway, they want to see you having a good time.

ETA: I think lilqyny's idea is great

mattituckprincess Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:54 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is anyone not doing the Traditional First Dance

we're not doing the first dance either. to be honest we're not doing the introductions, cake cutting or garter toss either.

we were hoping to transition from our cocktail hour to our reception and immediately go into the best man's toast but i don't know if it will look too awkward. i have to ask the dj to see what he thinks. maybe he can have our cocktail hour music going on in the reception room as we move in there??

shawl Posted: Apr 05, 2004 11:25 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is anyone not doing the Traditional First Dance

We went to a wedding this past fall where the couple did a first dance, and at the same time, their parents danced together. Nothing was announced - it was pretty much as people were still finding their seats, but *very* understated. We didn't even know it was happening until it was just about over. If you have any interest in having a first dance, but want to avoid the spotlight, that might be a solution.