Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Original post by marymoon

Mar 30, 2005 02:48 PM

I mean does he hold doors open, open your car door, pay for everything?

Did he do this while you were dating?

And also, do you think the guy SHOULD do these things, like should he always pay or always hold the door for the lady, etc.

With me, Fh has just about ALWAYS apid for everything when we went out. He paid for all movies, meals, whatever..even if I needed to buy a chapstick, if I was with him, he'd pay for it, eve though most of the time in HS and college I was making more money than he was.

He still lets me in the car door most of them, and holds doors for me. It's waning it used to be all the time, now it's just sometimes.

I think it's sweet. I can't say guys SHOULD do this, but I really like it when they do. I really didn't 'date' very much, but with my best friend, when she tells me about her dates, if he doens't pay for the first date, or at least try to, he's NOT a keeper. Maybe it's totally hypocritical and old fashioned, but I think if it's the first date, that guy had better be paying!

Shorty McBride Posted: Mar 30, 2005 03:04 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

interesting.

MonkeyLuv Posted: Mar 30, 2005 03:05 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Mr Boots is oddly chivalrous. He holds doors (not the car door anymore, that's just sort of a time waster now), pays for most things blah blah blah chivalry cakes. But he hates the concept of chivalry! He says it's male responsibilty and courtesy... sort of a wamr and fuzzy version of 'survival of the fittest'.

Also he gets really pissy when I lift heavy things, like his toolboxes or boxes. He's all 'You're gonna have a heartattack!' And sometimes he yammers about me carrying his children... so I guess he's more chivalrous of my uterus?

Shorty McBride Posted: Mar 30, 2005 03:07 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Posted by MonkeyLuv
so I guess he's more chivalrous of my uterus?

I guess he covets that which he'll never have?

Jax430 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 03:13 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Posted by marymoon

Posted by Jax430

Incidentally, I passed his 'test' when we started dating by leaning over and opening the car door for him from the inside.

He's seen 'A Bronx Tale' too many times!!!

Exactly!

xjulietx Posted: Mar 30, 2005 03:29 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

DH is definitely chivalrous. He has great manners, I think it was the European upbringing

He opens doors, closes doors for me, carries bags for me and is just courteous overall. He also knows how to make me feel capable, but still do the heavy lifting and grunt work. He knows that I like to prove that I can do it, so lets me if I want to, but is there to relieve me if necessary.

nov04LIbride Posted: Mar 30, 2005 03:30 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

It's actually weird with DH--he lifts a ton of weights, but if I ask him to help lift or carry something he'll act like I am being a wimp.

SweetCin704 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 03:56 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

FH is chivalrous...opening car doors (but never closing it) ; opening doors and he pays for EVERYTHING!!!

I think he did have me spoiled b/c after going out for over a year we had broken up for 8 months & I was really surprised b/c 2 guys that I got into relationships with did not pay for everything....as a matter of fact, barely paid for anything and were not half the gentleman that FH is....(I think the break was the best thing for us!!!)

nov04LIbride Posted: Mar 30, 2005 03:57 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Posted by SweetCin704

FH is chivalrous...opening car doors (but never closing it) ; opening doors and he pays for EVERYTHING!!!

I think he did have me spoiled b/c after going out for over a year we had broken up for 8 months & I was really surprised b/c 2 guys that I got into relationships with did not pay for everything....as a matter of fact, barely paid for anything and were not half the gentleman that FH is....(I think the break was the best thing for us!!!)

Is your FH the one you were with when you first joined the site? I remember you saying you broke up with your then-boyfriend and I thought this FH was someone different.

FeliciaDA Posted: Mar 30, 2005 04:01 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

DH is definitely chivarlrous... I often think he's TOO NICE and trust me I was not used to be treated nice before him..

I always chalk his chivarly and VERY good manners up to the fact that he wasn't raised around here.. TRUST me I mean no disrepsect to us NYers, but Anthony truly goes above and beyond when it comes to things most of us take for granted. He has that good midwestern politeness going on.

He is a gem

Janice Posted: Mar 30, 2005 04:03 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Posted by FeliciaDA

DH is definitely chivarlrous... I often think he's TOO NICE and trust me I was not used to be treated nice before him..

I always chalk his chivarly and VERY good manners up to the fact that he wasn't raised around here.. TRUST me I mean no disrepsect to us NYers, but Anthony truly goes above and beyond when it comes to things most of us take for granted. He has that good midwestern politeness going on.

He is a gem

DH is from Massachusettes, I think their is a def corelation.

leighdvm Posted: Mar 30, 2005 04:04 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

FH has been a total gentleman from day one -- opening doors, carrying packages, paying for everything, etc. He's a gem and I feel truly blessed!

marymoon Posted: Mar 30, 2005 04:05 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Aww..Anthony is a doll!

I agree with you about the midwestern thing. I think anywhere you go outside of NY it's different. They have a sense of politeness and hospitality that we just don't have here. I LOVE NY and NYers, but the things they do that we see as SO nice, and WOW, i can't believe people would do that for a person, they take for granted as everyday behavior and what you SHOULD do.

FeliciaDA Posted: Mar 30, 2005 04:10 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Posted by marymoon

Aww..Anthony is a doll!

I agree with you about the midwestern thing. I think anywhere you go outside of NY it's different. They have a sense of politeness and hospitality that we just don't have here. I LOVE NY and NYers, but the things they do that we see as SO nice, and WOW, i can't believe people would do that for a person, they take for granted as everyday behavior and what you SHOULD do.

Exactly Jenn! DH was sort of confused when I would comment at how nice he was being, when for him his chivalrous behaviour was just normal everyday behavior. He doesn't know any different, which is a bonus for me of course

Preshy7 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 05:41 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Posted by Jan05Bride

DH & I are 50/50 when it comes to money & spending etc ... but he does give up his seat for me and he does hold doors. Automatic locks have stopped the need to 'open the door' for me, I don;t mind though

same here and he better step it up for me when i get preggo!

september2004 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 06:12 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

very much so, sometimes to the point of annoying

FireIslandLove Posted: Mar 30, 2005 06:24 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Always has and I'm sure always will - he's a total gentleman!

Kate07 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 08:37 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Posted by shorty the pumpkin

FH ALWAYS
holds the door for me,
opens and closes my car door,
unlocks my house for me when he takes me home at night,
always paid when we were first dating, but now we're pretty equal,
almost ALWAYS drives. He has something against women driving men.

I love that he's like this, but what can I say - he's a HUGE momma's boy.

FH is a momma's boy and you know what, I'm glad! - cause she taught him how to do all that kind of stuff for me. I can't rmember the last time I carried anything when I was with him.

Cheers to all the mothers that raised them right !!!!

Goldi1021 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 08:45 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

Posted by Jax430

Posted by marymoon

Posted by Jax430

Incidentally, I passed his 'test' when we started dating by leaning over and opening the car door for him from the inside.

He's seen 'A Bronx Tale' too many times!!!

Exactly!

I would pass if FH didnt have automatic locks.

july06bride Posted: Mar 30, 2005 08:53 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

FH is a mix...

he would give me coat if cold, he used to pay for everything when we were dating, but now we kind of alternate by pay weeks.., he doesnt usually open doors except when we are dressed up going somewhere special

i wish he did it even more....but in the end he would do anything for me

prncssrachel Posted: Mar 30, 2005 10:02 PM

Re: Spinoff: Is your DH/FH chivalrous?

He's not 'chivalrous', but definitely polite and couteous to me. Like, he always opens doors (but not my car door, I HATE that, I can do that myself, thanks!), he holds my hand when I'm walking on slippery ground, etc. He doesn't ALWAYS pay for everything, but that's because we share the same bank account and have for the longest time, so even if it's coming from my wallet, it's just the same as it coming from his. But he doesn't go out of his way to be 'chivalrous' either. I'm happy with him, overall!