Re: spinoff, of sorts, tradition...
let's take a look back and see where these 'traditions' come from
a daughter went from her father's house to her hubands house like a chatel. the father paid a dowry to marry the child off. there was no dating, no working, no means to take care of oneself if you were a girl.
today, we all have jobs and the ability (if not the desire) to take care of ourselves. Many things have changed since these 'traditions' were handed down.
women are more independent, but with that independence comes responsibility. If I want to walk through the world and be a responsible adult, I can turn around once I get a ring on my finger and say 'hey parents, it's tradition for you to blow this much money on my wedding' and have that be an EXPECTATION...
I can't believe in this day, when we know the cost of living and that Medicare is going down the tubes, that anyone would put that kind of a burden on their parents, or the parents of their fh.
it they can swing a bill like that, wonderful, but anything else is just too much.
JMO.
eta: there is no right or wrong in terms of who pays, but when it comes to the point where the family is burdened by it, or is struggling to meet the demand, I don't feel that is right. I think it's wrong do that to people that have cared and struggled for us all of our lives.
a daughter went from her father's house to her hubands house like a chatel. the father paid a dowry to marry the child off. there was no dating, no working, no means to take care of oneself if you were a girl.
today, we all have jobs and the ability (if not the desire) to take care of ourselves. Many things have changed since these 'traditions' were handed down.
women are more independent, but with that independence comes responsibility. If I want to walk through the world and be a responsible adult, I can turn around once I get a ring on my finger and say 'hey parents, it's tradition for you to blow this much money on my wedding' and have that be an EXPECTATION...
I can't believe in this day, when we know the cost of living and that Medicare is going down the tubes, that anyone would put that kind of a burden on their parents, or the parents of their fh.
it they can swing a bill like that, wonderful, but anything else is just too much.
JMO.
eta: there is no right or wrong in terms of who pays, but when it comes to the point where the family is burdened by it, or is struggling to meet the demand, I don't feel that is right. I think it's wrong do that to people that have cared and struggled for us all of our lives.
