spinoff on abstinence

Original post by LaurenluvsTJ

Feb 22, 2006 02:26 PM

OK. Disclaimer first: anyone who chooses to do this- all power to you- I respect your decision.

Now, on to my question.
Why do people do this if they have already had sex? Is it to become a virgin again? I don't really understand it. The first time after the wedding will be special (IMO) no matter what because you will be husband and wife.
Also, I have heard so many times over and over again that you are so tired on your wedding night you won't even do it. If you have abstained for months in anticipation of this moment, then you might feel like you 'have to' do it, and when you are doing it because you 'have to' I think that takes away from it.

Again, if you have chosen to do this, I am not trying to insult you or downplay your choice in any way. I guess I am just trying to understand it a little better.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:52 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by stephanielyse

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't understand it...

However, the best 'excuse' I've heard is that they abstain so that they don't end up getting 'knocked-up' accidentally....

That only works if you start abstaining 9 months before! If you get knocked up 2 months before you won't even be showing yet! It can be your little secret. Ahh, just my observation.

True, but when Lil Johnny or Lil Janey comes out 7 months after the wedding, and not 9 - my family would definitely flip the $hit...

MayBride06 Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:52 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

We live together already...enough said for me. But I guess it's just a preference for some. More Power to them!!!

MrsFelix Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:52 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by cantwait2bewed

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

Not my man. Hence the reason why I am going crazy and cant friggin wait until the wedding night. We love to stay up late so its definitely going to happen. And if he is then he better be ready for round two.

I absolutely agree. Plus let's be realistic here, most men will wait to make love to you but they will find other ways to relieve themselves. Same for women, I belive that's what vibrators are for. Round two is always good too!!!

JessicaM. Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:54 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by cantwait2bewed

Posted by JessicaM.

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

I am with you...their brains (the lower ones LOL) become overloaded...and they generally 'pop' sorry for the graphics, but it's like champagne...vintage years are yummy, but they fizz out quickly.

What kinda guys were u ladies dealing with in the past
They better be able to last if they are going to be worth something

the same reason they have to think about inane things to keep from going off....if they haven't seen you naked in a while...they will go NUTS! the same way the anticipation will be enhanced by holding out, their excitement will be hard to contain.

trust me, it's completely different when we do it more often vs. the first time after a 'drought'

ChrissynRicky Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:54 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

ooooh...I love this topic! Love talking about sex...or the lack there of...

SomethingBlu Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:54 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

So, for those of you who are abstaining, do you think it will be less special for those who are not?

This is an unfair question.

It's a personal thing for each person/couple. How could I possible generalize and assume what the experience will be like for someone else?

cantwait2bewed Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:55 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

So, for those of you who are abstaining, do you think it will be less special for those who are not?

Its your preference. I think it will be special b/c you are marrying the man of your dreams either way. I just know that when FH and I have not done it for awhile before it was always (and i tell u no lie) so much better.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:55 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by MrsFelix

Posted by cantwait2bewed

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

Not my man. Hence the reason why I am going crazy and cant friggin wait until the wedding night. We love to stay up late so its definitely going to happen. And if he is then he better be ready for round two.

I absolutely agree. Plus let's be realistic here, most men will wait to make love to you but they will find other ways to relieve themselves. Same for women, I belive that's what vibrators are for. Round two is always good too!!!

I don't think its the same when they find 'other ways.' Like Jessica said, their brains will go into overload when they see you naked and its the 'real thing.'

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:56 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by SomethingBlu

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

So, for those of you who are abstaining, do you think it will be less special for those who are not?

This is an unfair question.

It's a personal thing for each person/couple. How could I possible generalize and assume what the experience will be like for someone else?

I was just wondering what your thoughts were. Not trying to put anyone against anyone else.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:57 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

Posted by MrsFelix

Posted by cantwait2bewed

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

Not my man. Hence the reason why I am going crazy and cant friggin wait until the wedding night. We love to stay up late so its definitely going to happen. And if he is then he better be ready for round two.

I absolutely agree. Plus let's be realistic here, most men will wait to make love to you but they will find other ways to relieve themselves. Same for women, I belive that's what vibrators are for. Round two is always good too!!!

I don't think its the same when they find 'other ways.' Like Jessica said, their brains will go into overload when they see you naked and its the 'real thing.'

I'm sorry...but when did men develop brains?

leese Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:57 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

So, for those of you who are abstaining, do you think it will be less special for those who are not?

I'm not waiting but I seriously think it's a personal decision and I see no harm in it.

I also DO see the point. If they want to restrict themselves to enhance that night, or focus on their relationship...then more power to them.

It's going to be special whether it's your completely FIRST time, or your 1,000,000 time, or whatever because it's your FIRST time as husband and wife.

I doubt very much the few people who stopped for a little while are looking down on anyone.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:57 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

don't think its the same when they find 'other ways.' Like Jessica said, their brains will go into overload when they see you naked and its the 'real thing.'

Sweety that is only some men. Not all men are like that. Of course he is going to go crazy but thats the excitement of it.

MrsFelix Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:58 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

So, for those of you who are abstaining, do you think it will be less special for those who are not?

Absolutely not. It's all about your personal choice. It's like what some people must have for their wedding, but others could care less about it. Every couple is different. No way is the right way, ultimately it's all about what YOU and FH want and makes you happy.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:59 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by ChrissynRicky

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

Posted by MrsFelix

Posted by cantwait2bewed

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

Not my man. Hence the reason why I am going crazy and cant friggin wait until the wedding night. We love to stay up late so its definitely going to happen. And if he is then he better be ready for round two.

I absolutely agree. Plus let's be realistic here, most men will wait to make love to you but they will find other ways to relieve themselves. Same for women, I belive that's what vibrators are for. Round two is always good too!!!

I don't think its the same when they find 'other ways.' Like Jessica said, their brains will go into overload when they see you naked and its the 'real thing.'

I'm sorry...but when did men develop brains?

smara Posted: Feb 22, 2006 03:04 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

So, for those of you who are abstaining, do you think it will be less special for those who are not?

I think everyones will be special no matter what route they go.. unless ofcourse it was a 'Wam Bam Thank you Mam' sort of night!!

MrsFelix Posted: Feb 22, 2006 03:07 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

Posted by MrsFelix

Posted by cantwait2bewed

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

Not my man. Hence the reason why I am going crazy and cant friggin wait until the wedding night. We love to stay up late so its definitely going to happen. And if he is then he better be ready for round two.

I absolutely agree. Plus let's be realistic here, most men will wait to make love to you but they will find other ways to relieve themselves. Same for women, I belive that's what vibrators are for. Round two is always good too!!!

I don't think its the same when they find 'other ways.' Like Jessica said, their brains will go into overload when they see you naked and its the 'real thing.'

Nothing is better than the 'real thing.' BUT, if you can't have the real thing then that's when your imagination kicks in. That can be fun as well.

Mrs. Powell Posted: Feb 22, 2006 03:26 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by cantwait2bewed

Its not to become a virgin again. Lord know that is insane. That is also impossible. Its about having something special that one night. It is always more intense when u wait weeks or months. Its just about the intensity of it thats all. And if u wait it will be good magnified by 20x which will make it magnificent. Think of it if u didnt see FH for like 2 months wouldnt you be ready to jump on top of him like no tomorrow.

Yup.

69 Posted: Feb 22, 2006 03:35 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

such debate!!!!! I love it.... I am involved in politics.. right up my alley....

anyway, hmmm giving this some thought....

do I think if I waited it would be more special... well, I think I decided that a whole long time ago..... I came up with 'no'...

I firmly believe for the first time in my life and I'm 32... after being in many relationships.. that, I really truly love this man and every time we are intimate... no matter how long in between or how often, it is special.. and I don't mean that to be corny.. even the 'quickies'.. because we connect, we have a moment.. I can't even put it into words actually... but it is truly a blessing.

It's different every time and I always feel so much emotion.... I believe that our wedding night will be magical... because I have truly began a dream I have had since I am a little girl..... to be marrying my soulmate and beginning a life together I always wanted.....

jada2destiny Posted: Feb 22, 2006 03:50 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

This is our reason for doing it.....

Fh and i have been together for 7 years. We've lived together for 6 years and have 2 daughters, 6 and 2. We really don't get to 'do the do' like we want to because our 2 year old sleeps with us. Our wedding night and honeymoon will be the first time that we'll be without kids or anyone else to distract us. We just want to get back what we had before the children

Boston&NY2006 Posted: Feb 22, 2006 04:00 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

I don't really get it, but that's probably because I could never control myself for that long...

My FSIL insisted on abstaining for the entire length of their engagement (almost a year). FBIL (FH's brother) told my FH that he was so pent up that if she didn't have s e x with him on their wedding night he was going to have to find someone in the hotel bar (obviously he was joking). He told my FH afterwards that it lasted about a minute and they both fell asleep immediately afterwards...

I personally think that she's frigid and this was just an excuse for her to not have to do it for a year because from what FBIL tells my FH they barely do it now (they've only been married for 2 years).