spinoff on abstinence

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:26 PM

spinoff on abstinence

OK. Disclaimer first: anyone who chooses to do this- all power to you- I respect your decision.

Now, on to my question.
Why do people do this if they have already had sex? Is it to become a virgin again? I don't really understand it. The first time after the wedding will be special (IMO) no matter what because you will be husband and wife.
Also, I have heard so many times over and over again that you are so tired on your wedding night you won't even do it. If you have abstained for months in anticipation of this moment, then you might feel like you 'have to' do it, and when you are doing it because you 'have to' I think that takes away from it.

Again, if you have chosen to do this, I am not trying to insult you or downplay your choice in any way. I guess I am just trying to understand it a little better.

smara Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:33 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

I am not planning on holding out.. but I agree with the being too tired - the way my family parties I might be too tired to do anything that night.

I think that some ppl feel that thier feelings will be hieghtened because they will have that extra yearn from not having done it in a long time.

I think it is going to special regardless becuase its your wedding night or the first time as husband and wife. I found it to be a little more special after we got engaged... Just my thoughts!! Good luck to the couples who have the self control.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:35 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

I don't understand it...

However, the best 'excuse' I've heard is that they abstain so that they don't end up getting 'knocked-up' accidentally....

MrsFelix Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:35 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

I personally wanted it to be 'extra' special. Granted of course it's going to be special regardless because we are husband and wife, BUT, I think the anticipation and the 'newness' of the actual circumstance makes people believe it's more 'special/romantic' I don't think those who chose this option are doing it to be 'virgins' again. I mean really who are we kidding here. I think it's more of a personal choice of wanting the first night as husband and wife to be 'extra' special.

kissy27 Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:36 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't understand it...

However, the best 'excuse' I've heard is that they abstain so that they don't end up getting 'knocked-up' accidentally....

I guess that could be a good reason!!!

IMHO, I never understood it! I can honestly say though, being so close to the wedding, you are so busy with other things that it is not a top priority...You find yourself half asleep by the time you reach your bed!!!

FallBride05 Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:37 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

I dont' understand it either....

DH and I were sooooooooooo exhausted on our wedding night! We got home, heated up our dinners from the wedding since we didn't eat all day, opened our envelopes and were asleep before 10 pm on our wedding night!

DUCKS2001 Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:38 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

I DON'T KNOW IF MY FH WOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD OUT...COULD I ALSO IS THE QUESTION BEST OF LUCK TO Y OU GIRLS WHO ARE WAITING.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:41 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Its not to become a virgin again. Lord know that is insane. That is also impossible. Its about having something special that one night. It is always more intense when u wait weeks or months. Its just about the intensity of it thats all. And if u wait it will be good magnified by 20x which will make it magnificent. Think of it if u didnt see FH for like 2 months wouldnt you be ready to jump on top of him like no tomorrow.

jaclyncalderon Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:42 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

I agree with the 'whats the point'....the only thing we are doing different is that I will be staying in the hotel where all the girls will be getting ready the night beofremy wedding - i am doing this for 2 reasons...1 my mother and FMIL both said we couldn't be together the night before and I can see that (we live together though)
2 and we have to pay for the room for that night anyway because we want to be there so early to get ready in the hotel room so it works out...

ChrissynRicky Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:43 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:44 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

Good point, Christine. I would have to say my experience is similar to yours.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:44 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

Not my man. Hence the reason why I am going crazy and cant friggin wait until the wedding night. We love to stay up late so its definitely going to happen. And if he is then he better be ready for round two.

SomethingBlu Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:44 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

By no means did I have delusions of becoming a 'born again virgin' by waiting until my wedding day. But at Pre-Cana they spoke about trying this so that you put more focus on other parts of the relationship, less on the sexual part. It made sense at the time. We did try it and don't regret it. We would have done it regardless that night (wouldn't miss that for the world! ) but it was nice to finally do it after holding out for about 3 months.

This has to be a mutual thing though...DH went along with it (damn that Catholic guilt is good!)

smara Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:46 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

I was thinking that too, but didnt know how to word it, so I kept it to myself.

JessicaM. Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:47 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

I am with you...their brains (the lower ones LOL) become overloaded...and they generally 'pop' sorry for the graphics, but it's like champagne...vintage years are yummy, but they fizz out quickly.

eta: I do like Nicole's point though...about round 2!

SomethingBlu Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:49 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

Eh, not a good enough reason not to wait! It depends! You'll probably be tired so it won't be 'amazing' anyway...although it was quite nice.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Feb 22, 2006 02:49 PM

Re: spinoff on abstinence

Posted by JessicaM.

Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't know if my experience with men is similar to others...but aren't men usually done a lot faster after they've been pent up for so long???

I am with you...their brains (the lower ones LOL) become overloaded...and they generally 'pop' sorry for the graphics, but it's like champagne...vintage years are yummy, but they fizz out quickly.

What kinda guys were u ladies dealing with in the past
They better be able to last if they are going to be worth something