Spinoff: Thank Yous you wish you could write

Dear Mean Church Lady,

Thank you for taking your job so seriously that you yelled at everyone (including my groom) and guests for saying hello to eachother and not being in their seats 30 mins before the ceremony.

Also, thank you for threatening and telling my photographer that he was not allowed in the FRONT HALF of the church to take pictures. I'm so glad I paid him thousands of dollars so you could tell him what to do and prevent me from having ceremony pictures closer than 20 pews back. I will send you his bill.

I almost forgot, thank you for stealing my pew bows before my guests were even out of the church... It would have been nice to have them at my reception as part of the decor, but I guess you knew better to take them. I will send you the bill for those as well.

Thank you very little,
angry bride

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Posted by 08JulyBride

Dear Mean Church Lady,

Thank you for taking your job so seriously that you yelled at everyone (including my groom) and guests for saying hello to eachother and not being in their seats 30 mins before the ceremony.

Also, thank you for threatening and telling my photographer that he was not allowed in the FRONT HALF of the church to take pictures. I'm so glad I paid him thousands of dollars so you could tell him what to do and prevent me from having ceremony pictures closer than 20 pews back. I will send you his bill.

I almost forgot, thank you for stealing my pew bows before my guests were even out of the church... It would have been nice to have them at my reception as part of the decor, but I guess you knew better to take them. I will send you the bill for those as well.

Thank you very little,
angry bride

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Shoot did we get married at the same church. I had little mean Priest man instead. he did my rehearsal & was soo nice. ( cough cough)

Dear GM
Thank you being a royal pain in the ___. Thank you for not taking off your sunglasses right before you walked into t he ceremony . Thank you for ignoring me. Thank you for taking over the DJ booth. I know you are a DJ but I told you to stay out of it, but god forbid you listen.
Thank you for being an ahole!

Sincerely,
The Bride

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Posted by SB7308

Dear GM
Thank you being a royal pain in the ___. Thank you for not taking off your sunglasses right before you walked into t he ceremony . Thank you for ignoring me. Thank you for taking over the DJ booth. I know you are a DJ but I told you to stay out of it, but god forbid you listen.
Thank you for being an ahole!

Sincerely,
The Bride

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Oh I feel for you, I do. FH has friends like that.

OMGOMGOMG

i almost feel guilty laughing.. cause im sure it makes your blood boil.. what a peice of trash

Dear former friend because you really aren't one,

Thank you for coming to my RD wearing a dress that covered so little of your size Zs. Thank you for wearing the SAME EXACT dress I wore at my RD to my wedding...of course, you already know that I looked better in it and that I got to wear it first And finally, thank you for coming to my wedding and promising a gift multiple times that we still haven't seen. We love it!! Love it!!! Can't wait to see you again...but only if you wear something I've already worn

Dear Celebrant,

Thank you so much for letting my groom and I run the rehearsal while you were examining the marriage license that you thought might be filled out incorrectly.

Most of all, I would like to thank you for making our mass so uniquely special. Your homily was truly touching as it sounded like a string of appropriate words that together made no sense at all. Thank for comletely skipping over the prayer of the faithful and getting right down to blessing the wine which wasn't yet in the glass because you skipped the presenting of the gifts as well. It was so nice that my groom could be a part of the mass while telling you that you forgot to get the gifts. Thank you for instructing the audience to kneel while they were already kneeling by saying, 'And then J.C. said to his Apostles: 'kneel.' You then proceeded to offer the sign of peace while everyone was still kneeling. The second Our Father was a favorite part of the entire ceremony and everyone is still talking about it. I would like to personally thank you for not spilling the red wine all over my white dress as your hand was shaking uncontrollably and for then standing on my veil the entire time you gave communion.

Thank you for being a part of our special day!

Sincerely,
The New Mrs.

These are too funny, well to me now they are, but I can only imagine how annoyed you all were that day.

Hopefully I'll be able to laugh at all the mistakes that happen at my wedding too.

Dear Limo Driver:

Thank you SO much for forgetting to pick my husband and I up after our reception and making us wait an hour in the bridal suite while all of the catering hall workers went home to bed. We only had to be ready by 5am to leave for our honeymoon so we really appreciated getting home at 1:30. Moreover, thank you so very much for trying to tell us that the pickup was not in our contract. We must have made that up.

Yours Truly,
Mr. & Mrs. C.

Wait, I have another one:

Dear Officiant,

Thank you so much for drilling us with personal questions and putting us on the spot during our own wedding ceremony. We deeply appreciated randomly being asked how we handle disagreements at home, and then having the microphone shoved in our faces while our closest family and friends watched in horror. We also thank you for forgetting to pronounce us husband and wife, AND forgetting to say 'you may now kiss the bride'. We loved the fact that instead, you looked at us incredulously and said 'do you need my permission to kiss'?? That was a treat for all. Thank you for making our limo ride to the RH unforgettable as all we could think about was how embarrassed we were. We hadn't planned on enjoying that brief one-on-one time at all. And finally, thank you so very much for ensuring that we will never again be attending one of your masses!

Sincerely,
the newlyweds

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Posted by Dee0522

Wait, I have another one:

Dear Officiant,

Thank you so much for drilling us with personal questions and putting us on the spot during our own wedding ceremony. We deeply appreciated randomly being asked how we handle disagreements at home, and then having the microphone shoved in our faces while our closest family and friends watched in horror. We also thank you for forgetting to pronounce us husband and wife, AND forgetting to say 'you may now kiss the bride'. We loved the fact that instead, you looked at us incredulously and said 'do you need my permission to kiss'?? That was a treat for all. Thank you for making our limo ride to the RH unforgettable as all we could think about was how embarrassed we were. We hadn't planned on enjoying that brief one-on-one time at all. And finally, thank you so very much for ensuring that we will never again be attending one of your masses!

Sincerely,
the newlyweds

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omg Dee0522! I'm so sorry

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Posted by yswedding

omg Dee0522! I'm so sorry

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No worries! I'm just grateful that DH and I can laugh about everything now... but at the moment it wasn't too great! Just goes to show you, no matter how much you plan, you can't control everything! It was still a wonderful day and at the end of the day we were so happy with the way it all turned out.

Dear Friend #1,
Thank you so much for your bounced check. I really appreciate having to pay $30 for you to come to my wedding.
Sincerely,
Your friend,
$30 in the hole




OR


Dear Friend #2,
Thank you for giving us your post dated check so we had to wait over a month to get $127. Could you possibly have picked a more random number? Im assuming you had less in your account and thats why you purposely wrote the check out wrong so we couldnt deposit it the following month.
Sincerely,
Your friend,
Will be stiffing you at your wedding

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Posted by JoesFutureWife

Dear Friend #2,
Thank you for giving us your post dated check so we had to wait over a month to get $127. Could you possibly have picked a more random number? Im assuming you had less in your account and thats why you purposely wrote the check out wrong so we couldnt deposit it the following month.
Sincerely,
Your friend,
Will be stiffing you at your wedding

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I'm so sorry to hear this, but the 2nd one made me spit out the water I was drinking...$127???

Dear XXX,

Thank you so much for being in my wedding. All of your efforts to end our relationship and ruin our engagement because you are jealous did not work. But thanks anyway!! Also, your attempts at being sooo super phony nice to me have been duly noted. It's only going to get better, because I am so happy and you are a miserable fool. Hope you had fun and to see you soon!!

Love,
XXXXXXX

Hmmm...what do we think?? Too harsh?? Hahaha!!

Dear DH's entire family:

Thank you for ruining my rehearsal dinner and causing me not to sleep the night before my wedding. I particularly love it, since I did not want to invite you. You were not in the wedding, nor were you from OOT, so why were you there? Thank you DH's aunt for Slapping your son's girlfriend and calling her a wh0re. Thank you dh's cousin for slapping your girlfriend again and causing an even bigger scene. (PS..thanks for not showing up to our wedding with as much as a card...I'm glad you had plenty of coke to put up your nose though.) Thank you DH's grandmother for being 'embarassed' by your family and continuing the craziness by beating dh's aunt over the head repeatedly. (Also, thank you for being 15 mins late to the ceremony and holding both it and pictures up). Thank you DH's aunt for biting his grandmother. We all know that's the best way to solve an adult argument. Thank you DH's other aunt for punching his cousin and making him bleed. Thank you cousin for provoking her to do this by calling her a 'Crack head Wh0re.' Again, I am so glad I was unable to sleep because of this. I am so touched to be part of this family.

Love never,
Laura

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Posted by LauraD419

Dear DH's entire family:

Thank you for ruining my rehearsal dinner and causing me not to sleep the night before my wedding. I particularly love it, since I did not want to invite you. You were not in the wedding, nor were you from OOT, so why were you there? Thank you DH's aunt for Slapping your son's girlfriend and calling her a wh0re. Thank you dh's cousin for slapping your girlfriend again and causing an even bigger scene. (PS..thanks for not showing up to our wedding with as much as a card...I'm glad you had plenty of coke to put up your nose though.) Thank you DH's grandmother for being 'embarassed' by your family and continuing the craziness by beating dh's aunt over the head repeatedly. (Also, thank you for being 15 mins late to the ceremony and holding both it and pictures up). Thank you DH's aunt for biting his grandmother. We all know that's the best way to solve an adult argument. Thank you DH's other aunt for punching his cousin and making him bleed. Thank you cousin for provoking her to do this by calling her a 'Crack head Wh0re.' Again, I am so glad I was unable to sleep because of this. I am so touched to be part of this family.

Love never,
Laura

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This is too much this is something straight out of a movie. I'm so sorry!

I'm sure 13 days from know I wil have something to add.