spinoff to diana's post -- which of FH's side are you inviting to the shower???

this is annoying me, because i feel FH and i already discussed this and we decided to invite any female that we are close w or from his side that i know (even if not super close w me...close to him).....so last night FH was like, im not sure...i dont think they need to be invited meanwhile, i already prepared the list to send to my MOH...so im like, what ...so now this is up for discussion again....we will be talking tonight about finally FINALIZING the list....and i need your help and thoughts...

one part of me is like, why should only my female friends have to buy something off the registry? its almost not fair

so the group we are debating whether to invite right now are FH's:

female friends,
friends of his family (who also came to engagement party!!)
his co-worker that i know
sisters of the groomsmen (who will be invited to the wedding and who invite us to their parties, birthdays, etc)
& significant others of the groomsmen (but they just started dating a few months ago..but by the time of the shower it will be longer)?

thoughts???

HELP!!!!

female friends - they should be invited
friends of his family (who also came to engagement party!!) - they should be invited
his co-worker that i know - should be invited
sisters of the groomsmen (who will be invited to the wedding and who invite us to their parties, birthdays, etc) - should be invited
& significant others of the groomsmen (but they just started dating a few months ago..but by the time of the shower it will be longer)? - if its someone they are just casually dating then i say no don't invited them, if they have been dating for a while & you & FH go out places with them as couples, then definitely should be invited.

thanks for the quick responses...i also wanted to add (and not sure if this makes a difference)....FH spoke about the list with his mom and sis...and they thought that the family friends did not need to be invited.

thoughts?

idk, i just feel like if they were invited to the e-party, why wouldnt they be invited to the shower?

this whole convo kinda pissed me off cuz i felt he was bringing in other opinions AFTER we decided on the list...but that is another rant i wont get into

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Posted by jmgoncal

IMO I think you should invite the people on his side that you listed, with the exception maybe of his coworker, depending on how close you are to her. I will say that FH was the best man at his best friend's wedding last year and I wasn't invited to the shower, and I was pretty insulted... I will definitely be inviting the girlfriends of of the groomsmen to my shower, and any close female friends of FH.

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I didn't know you had to invite all the groomsman gf's. FH was a groomsman in this friends wedding but he wasn't asked to be in it until after his finacee's shower and like 2 months before the wedding. Before the shower I had only met her like once. We now all go out for dinners and stuff and I'm friendly with his wife when I see her. He is also the best man in our wedding. I guess I should be inviting her.

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Posted by Iluvpoodles

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Posted by jmgoncal

IMO I think you should invite the people on his side that you listed, with the exception maybe of his coworker, depending on how close you are to her. I will say that FH was the best man at his best friend's wedding last year and I wasn't invited to the shower, and I was pretty insulted... I will definitely be inviting the girlfriends of of the groomsmen to my shower, and any close female friends of FH.

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I didn't know you had to invite all the groomsman gf's. FH was a groomsman in this friends wedding but he wasn't asked to be in it until after his finacee's shower and like 2 months before the wedding. Before the shower I had only met her like once. We now all go out for dinners and stuff and I'm friendly with his wife when I see her. He is also the best man in our wedding. I guess I should be inviting her.

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Well I should clarify... FH and I had already been dating for a few years and definitely knew the bride and groom really well (he and FH are best friends), so it was a shocker when I wasn't invited to the shower... especially when FH's mother was invited... ha. All of the groomsmen in my wedding have been dating their gf's for a pretty decent amount of time and we're close with all of them, so they will definitely be invited.

I agree with Christine. I think family friends should be invited if you think they are close with him or his mom. I guess, though, if it's FMIL that is saying not to invite them it wouldn't be a big deal since they are her friends?

Ugh, showers are a sticky situation! I don't even want to think about mine!

I invited, FMIL, FSIL, FH's aunts and female cousins that live in New York and two of FMIL's close friends who I get along very well with.

I think everyone you listed sounds fine to invite.

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Posted by little j

this is annoying me, because i feel FH and i already discussed this and we decided to invite any female that we are close w or from his side that i know (even if not super close w me...close to him).....so last night FH was like, im not sure...i dont think they need to be invited meanwhile, i already prepared the list to send to my MOH...so im like, what ...so now this is up for discussion again....we will be talking tonight about finally FINALIZING the list....and i need your help and thoughts...

one part of me is like, why should only my female friends have to buy something off the registry? its almost not fair

so the group we are debating whether to invite right now are FH's:

female friends,
friends of his family (who also came to engagement party!!)
his co-worker that i know
sisters of the groomsmen (who will be invited to the wedding and who invite us to their parties, birthdays, etc)
& significant others of the groomsmen (but they just started dating a few months ago..but by the time of the shower it will be longer)?

thoughts???

HELP!!!!

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obviusly i cant really tell your feelings towards each one of these people but in general i think that if you have some type of personal relationship with the person even if its minimal but youve spoken to the person personally when fh isnt present, then invite them, otherwise, i wouldnt. as for significant others of the groomsmen, i wouldnt really invite them (unless of course, you really consider them friends of yours)

eta: im inviting his sister n laws and he has one niece who is 17...wasnt planning on inviting her at all (not cuz of age, just cuz) and then his sister in law goes, me and amanda (her daughter) will be there

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Posted by mzmahagony

I'm inviting every female that is invited to the wedding, both my side and fh's side. They don'thave to come but I'm sending them all invites even oot guests. They may not come but want to send a gift.

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Ditto!

I'd def invite the female family, hands down.
Then, either decide to invite all females invited to the wedding (no one to offend) as long as your FIL's are not planning to invite the world; or just those that have a close relationship with FH or FMIL...