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Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

btrflygrl Posted:

Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

when you felt nothing would get you out of it and it wouldn't get better?


honestly....I feel like that now most of the time....and I have my 'smiles' and 'giggles' in between
Aga Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

I think my darkest moment so far has been after we had an accident last year... for few months I have been struggeling with a lot of different emotions and even now I get angry just thinking about it because I will have health problems for the rest of my life because of some a$$hole that doesnt know a difference between green and red light... but you have to go on and not let your anger get the better of you... I just keep telling myself that it could be worse and we are lucky to be alive...

usuk2004 Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

Posted by btrflygrl

when you felt nothing would get you out of it and it wouldn't get better?


honestly....I feel like that now most of the time....and I have my 'smiles' and 'giggles' in between


Oh, Shana, you sound so sad... Please don't be. It will get better...I promise. On Saturday night, DH and I had a fight and I ended up crying like a baby. It actually hurt my chest, I was heaving so much and it all came out - how I'm depressed about my job situation, how much I miss my family, how I have no real friends of my own....in short, how I wish I never left NY. But in the morning, I realized that I had Seb and he's why I've done all of this, and that he's so worth it.

I know you're sad now, but it will get better. Just think that you may soon have a or and then you'll have a family of your own...
MuchInLuvMichi Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

def. when my dad passed away..the first funeral i ever went to was his,it was totally unexpected, and it was my freshman yr of college and i was away from home...after that i went into a one year depression that i never thought i would get out of..

btrflygrl Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

Thanks Farah and Michi....I know it will get better, I go back and forth, and it's been going on longer than just now....I was in therapy way before the wedding, before getting engaged dealing with crap. Right now is hard because there are no things to go out and do that I enjoy because there is no one to enjoy them with if I am home alone.

DH cheers me up, and the mood gets lighter when I go home and get some fuzzy therapy from Bailey.

I'm sure it'll all change after Friday when I start at the preschool
reallybehind! Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

after i broke up with my first serious boyfriend in college. it was really ugly. since then i've gone up and down. i'm currently in a down too. it's gotten so bad that i think i'm going to try therapy again. i highly recommend talking to a professional. you don't have to feel like this! good luck. we're all here for you.

MuchInLuvMichi Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

i kno what its like to sit and b depressed and all u have time to do is think, its the worst!! it will definitly get better, its kinda silly but i always say to myself 'this too shall pass' cause it really helps me see that things will move on and get better..soon ull b busy with work so pleas eenjoy the downtime and dont feel lonely..u have us!!!

FeliciaDA Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

Aww Shana many to you. I truly think that things will improve when you are out of your present job and working with children, which you love. I cannot possibly imagine how hard it is to be away from everyone, I admire you and Farah SO much for taking that leap of faith and moving to be with your DH's.. I don't know if I could cope even 1/2 as well as you ladies do (serious daddy's girl here.. i think i would miss him too much )

TO answer your question, YES I have had a 'darkest' moment .. it was during the demise and aftermath of a very serious long term relationship that even though it was dysfunctional throughout, the breakup just about destroyed me. To add insult to injury, shortly after this breakup I had a huge falling out with my best friend because I found she betrayed my trust.. and at the same time, my beloved grandma passed away. These three events sent me into such a downward spiral that I need therapy and medication just to drag myself out of it... it took months but I did get past it.

Ever since the wedding, I am having some ongoing problems with depression myself.. mind you, this has NOTHING to do with DH but a lot to do with some lingering health issues that the doctor cannot pinpoint, and my feeling of worthlessness. I worry that I am such a lousy wife as a result of my health and mental state being so 'off'. Its even hard to just drag myself up and out to work these days, and I worry what I am doing to my husband.

But as Michi said, this too shall pass and things will get better for ALL of us
sweetadeline Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

I'm sorry to hear that so many people are feeling down lately...
xjulietx Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

Yes, I had a really dark time about 4 years ago. I had broken friendships with six different people (one of them was DH who was a friend back then) and spent most of fall 2000 and winter and spring 2001 being depressed and crying every weekend. I hated life and felt that the only friends I had were married and had lives of their own and didn't have time for me. I gained weight and then lost a lot. I was a wreck. I can remember having an accident with my 8 day old car and it was near the expressway service road. I remember it took so much strength not to run and jump off the overpass.

And then slowly the friends started to contact me and the last one was DH and we reconnected and realized that we wanted to be together and picked up the pieces of broken friendships.

wc0143 Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

YES

bxgell2 Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

Been there... the end of my first year in law school... I was living with my ex at the time, and he came home one day and pretty much told me to move out... I was totally devastated, and the worst was it took 2 weeks to find a new place so I had to live with this jerk in the meantime... and let's just say, the relationship was overall the darkest... he was verbally abusive and cheated on me all the time... then, during those two weeks I got into an awful car accident and found out that my father had gone into kidney failure and needed to start dialysis... and, I was in the middle of exams. I was seriously depressed for weeks on end, but took comfort in visiting with my friends and family... and at the end of the day, within 5 months I met FH, then moved in together, got engaged, bought a house, got a job, and just passed the bar... I really believe that there is a purpose to going through your dark moments, because without them, you wouldn't truly appreciate all that you have once the dark period is over... I wake up every morning, look at FH and think how lucky I am... I don't think I would really appreciate how wonderful he is and how wonderful my life is without having gone through that crap 2 years ago.

Anniegrl Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

This is going to sound so pathetic but I used to write in my journal all the time about how I felt like I was never going to meet anyone. I just had really bad luck with guys - just couldn't find anyone that was my match. And people who thought they knew me were always trying to set me up with these nerdy guys (so I guess they thought I was a nerd) and that only made things worse. I used to cry on every birthday, Valentine's Day, etc.
Then I had an affair with a married man (jeez I hate talking about this) and I made the mistake of falling in love with him. That's when my darkest moment hit. The guilt was terrible. I was so disgusted with myself for doing something so horrible all because of my selfishness (but in my defense, HE pursued ME).

Anyway, I finally got away from that situation by moving down here, and it took a few more years of bad luck with men before I finally met DH. And the wait was so worth it...... I couldn't be happier!

And Shana, hang in there. If we move to Atlanta you'll have a friend!
Jmg11 Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

I was just telling a friend of mine how I have been feeling blue - I chalked it up to post wedding blues...

but she made a very good observation..

Do you think it could have anything to do with the change of seasons? I know that sounds simple, but the fall might mean more to us then just cold weather coming.

It is a time of change, its back to school, its leaves falling and birds going south - even though it is a fun time of year (pumpkins, cooking, colorful leaves) it IS a little sad too.
nov04LIbride Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

I wouldn't call this my darkest, but I have had such conflicting emotions lately with the wedding planning. I'm so happy, but then I will get sad because this is it--I am no longer only responsible for myself--I can't just decide to go somewhere and do it anymore. There is welcomed security, but also visioning my life in such a straight line--in 5 years we will do this, in 10 we will do this...I have a mortgage, and so, so many bills...It all seems so planned, and to some extent the 'exciting' part of my life is done. I can't just quit my job one day if I decide I don't like it (something I have done in the past), because my income is very necessary. Security is replacing that excitement, but I do get down about it sometimes.

ETA: Hugs Shana! I don't think I could leave my family and friends at this point, and I admire you do much for having the courage to move and start a new life in Atlanta!
MizStinker Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

I think it started about 3 years ago. I had just started a new job. 2 of my best friends both moved way out of state, 2 other best friends totally wacked out on me for leaving our 'group' because I was dating FH. My Mother and Father both went into the hospital one in the fall the other at Christmas time.
Then FH moved out together because of some circumstances with his family, we really had no financial stability.
It was horriable, it really was. I gained weight, then lost to much weight. I felt withdrawn, lathergic, I was not intrested in doing anything even with FH.
I had my appendix out at the time and I swear to this day the stress was partly to blame for it.
I just recently this year came out of feeling down and negative and reeady to join the human race again, I am sure it would have passed quicker if I had gone to therapy but I didn' t. If you are feeling badly I really would suggest therapy - I wish I had gone when I realize how much time I wasted being that way when I could have been enjoying my life.
reallybehind! Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

interesting that you mention stress and your appendix. i had mine taken out shortly after i moved to maryland on my own. it was my first apartment, i had just started grad school, my hubby (then boyfriend) and all my family still lived in ny, and i had no job. i wonder if stress does affect appendicitis?

MizStinker Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

I never really read up on it but looking back I know it was factor . I never get really sick - ever. It actually gave me a much needed break but it made more more depressed because I was so physically limited I couldn't work, work out or even really walk for a long time and ended up gaining weight once I could eat again.

Sunshine128 Posted:

Re: Spinoff to Farah's post....Have you ever felt you've had a 'darkest' moment

Mine was when my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, and suffered for 2 and a half years, had a seisure in front of me, then passed away. Then six months later my father died of congestive heart failure. I never thought I would feel happy, I didnt know why I should keep living if I was just going to feel so bad. But luckily my fiancee was there to pick me up, and then getting engaged focused me on the happiness and positive things in my life. I still get depressed, but its not as bad.

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