Last night I told my FH that he needs to get a w-ring soon. so he says 'oh I forgot to tell you, my mom called me today and found my dad's w-ring, so I think I am going to wear that as my w-ring' (his dad passed away).
I got a little freaked out by this.
I know that many women wear family heirlooms as an engagement ring. But I never heard of a man wearing his dad's w-ring. And it bothers me.
what do you ladies think?
AnniesSS
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Re: Spinoff to ring post
Posted by dleeny
Last night I told my FH that he needs to get a w-ring soon. so he says 'oh I forgot to tell you, my mom called me today and found my dad's w-ring, so I think I am going to wear that as my w-ring' (his dad passed away).
I got a little freaked out by this.
I know that many women wear family heirlooms as an engagement ring. But I never heard of a man wearing his dad's w-ring. And it bothers me.
what do you ladies think?
My BIL is wearing his grandpa's ring - I think it's great!
suezboss
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Re: Spinoff to ring post
Posted by SomethingBlu
Why does it bother you? I'll tell you why it would bother me...because that ring, as beautiful and meaningful as it is, represents the union between his mom and dad. His ring should be 'fresh' for your new union. Unless he plans to start a family tradition and make it an heirloom...therefore passing it to his son ( ) so that he could wear it and pass it on to his own off spring. Otherwise, new ring please.
ETA: Can you tell I am TOTALLY useless at work today?!
Ditto... I would feel that it is not 'OUR' union ring...
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Spinoff to ring post
well, I talked with my FH about this. and I'm kind of sad to say that he put his foot down about it and thinks I am over-reacting
I think it's great that some people choose to do this, but everytime I look at him wearing his dad's w-ring I will think of his parents, not us and our marriage.
I am so sad about this
Love_my_Freddybear
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Re: Spinoff to ring post **updated at the bottom**
Posted by dleeny
well, I talked with my FH about this. and I'm kind of sad to say that he put his foot down about it and thinks I am over-reacting
I think it's great that some people choose to do this, but everytime I look at him wearing his dad's w-ring I will think of his parents, not us and our marriage.
I am so sad about this
Why can't you have it blessed by the priest before you get married?
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Spinoff to ring post **updated at the bottom**
Posted by Love_my_Freddybear
Posted by dleeny
well, I talked with my FH about this. and I'm kind of sad to say that he put his foot down about it and thinks I am over-reacting
I think it's great that some people choose to do this, but everytime I look at him wearing his dad's w-ring I will think of his parents, not us and our marriage.
I am so sad about this
Why can't you have it blessed by the priest before you get married?
well first, we're having an interfaith wedding. and second, it wouldn't really matter even if we were having it blessed. it symbolizes his parents marriage. it's freaking me out!
ETA: I hate to sound selfish, I never lost a parent, thank GOD! but this is really bothering me.
capgrl26
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Re: Spinoff to ring post **updated at the bottom**
I'm sorry your so sad. It would really upset me too. I can't say anything that would make it better.
Does FI know how hurt you really are? What about melting it down and creating a new ring that would fit him better? That way it's still the materials, but a new symbol for you and him?
IrishBride-05
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Re: Spinoff to ring post **updated at the bottom**
Posted by dleeny
Posted by Love_my_Freddybear
Posted by dleeny
well, I talked with my FH about this. and I'm kind of sad to say that he put his foot down about it and thinks I am over-reacting
I think it's great that some people choose to do this, but everytime I look at him wearing his dad's w-ring I will think of his parents, not us and our marriage.
I am so sad about this
Why can't you have it blessed by the priest before you get married?
well first, we're having an interfaith wedding. and second, it wouldn't really matter even if we were having it blessed. it symbolizes his parents marriage. it's freaking me out!
ETA: I hate to sound selfish, I never lost a parent, thank GOD! but this is really bothering me.
Would you feel any better about it if you changed the ring in some way to make it more 'yours' by adding a stone or engraving? Just an idea...
McSulllivan
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Re: Spinoff to ring post **updated at the bottom**
I think it's actually really great! What if he got it dipped? That way it would be taking something with roots, but adding to it, to symbolize a fresh start with the two of you.
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Spinoff to ring post **updated at the bottom**
I have never lost a parent (THANK GOD!) and I don’t know how it feels.
I realize now that it was very insensitive to say anything to him, especially since he didn’t really decide for sure yet. He wants to see what it looks like first, etc. I told him last night that I support whatever he decides 100% and I think it’s great and that his dad’s ring will symbolize his blessing of our marriage. He hugged me so tight when I said that to him.
So bottom line, it’s his decision 100% and I will back him. I was very selfish about it…. you can’t always have your way.
I feel much better about this now
Ladybug63
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Re: Spinoff to ring post **updated at the bottom**
