spinoff to who is paying

Mine haven't even offered! My Dad is paying for the whole thing. It pisses me off b/c they have one kid- and it's a boy-

If they don't give us a nice wedding gift- i am going to lose it!

My Dad and my FILs are not contributing a dime...but like I've said a hundred times...it's not that bad...no input...no problems. Plus both my Dad and my FILs are on a fixed income and cannot afford to help out. We are just fine with that.

My dad is helping a little.. Must of it is just me.
FH side has not offered and I don;t think they are planning to

They didn't contribute officially to the wedding budget but our kitchen was in really bad shape... original 1953 knotty pine... I had a cast iron sink and harvest gold appliances that were 30 years old... yes, older than most of you..

FFIL is a kitchen designer (doesn't install). He designed the kitchen (small) , bought the cabinets (had to be custom because of the space), got the three year old appliances from FSIL (she redid hers a few months earlier), and bought the materials. We just had to pay for labor. That's our present... very generous.

My Dad is very generous and he is retired and on disability due to a severe stroke, my FIL's are generous... my extended family are a bunch of cheap !@#$%

I am the opposite, my future in laws are contributing much more than i expected them to. They are from Ecuador and have never been to a wedding in the USA nevermind planned one, so I didnt know if they knew what it was like...and how much it costs, but Fh must have explained... i dont know cause they are paying for our band, photography, flowers, and limos, rehearsal dinner, plus i am sure FMIL will help with shower with my mom and MOH.

I am grateful and appreciative, because i know without my parents or his we would not be able to afford what we are getting

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

How come for the most part, FH's parents contribute very little or nothing at all? I know some FIL are very generous, but from what I hear most are not really giving much. I thought we are living in the 21st century? Why are they still living with the notion that the grooms parents don't pay for the wedding? It ticks me off.

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I KNOW!!! Not only that they don't contribute, but why does my FMIL feel SO compelled to put her 2 cents in...when she's not paying A DIME!!!!!

My IL's gave us a very very generous gift the day of the wedding.

We paid for our own wedding so we didnt expect anything from anyone.

My FILs aren't contributing.
They are giving us our wedding gift in advance, and have told us the amount. It is literally 1% of the amount my parents are contributing. But I'm trying to realize that they are wonderful people....

Curious to know why some people expect anyone to pay anything? It's your wedding. If you can't afford it, then do with what you have? Sorry to vent, but some posters have to realize that people will do what they want with their money.

That being said, it's ludicrous the amount of money it costs to have a wedding in New York, but if that's what you want, find a way to pay for it.

Some parents don't have the money or need it for some other reason and cannot contribute as much as they would like, or may think that it's not their responsibility. (Or are being cheap)-whatever the reason...

Ladies, if you and your FH are lucky to have help, then be greatful. That's all I'm saying.

Ok, waiting for you to throw things at me now...

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Posted by Blu-ize

Curious to know why some people expect anyone to pay anything? It's your wedding. If you can't afford it, then do with what you have? Sorry to vent, but some posters have to realize that people will do what they want with their money.

That being said, it's ludicrous the amount of money it costs to have a wedding in New York, but if that's what you want, find a way to pay for it.

Some parents don't have the money or need it for some other reason and cannot contribute as much as they would like, or may think that it's not their responsibility. (Or are being cheap)-whatever the reason...

Ladies, if you and your FH are lucky to have help, then be greatful. That's all I'm saying.

Ok, waiting for you to throw things at me now...

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THANK YOU!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

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Posted by Blu-ize

Curious to know why some people expect anyone to pay anything? It's your wedding. If you can't afford it, then do with what you have? Sorry to vent, but some posters have to realize that people will do what they want with their money.

That being said, it's ludicrous the amount of money it costs to have a wedding in New York, but if that's what you want, find a way to pay for it.

Some parents don't have the money or need it for some other reason and cannot contribute as much as they would like, or may think that it's not their responsibility. (Or are being cheap)-whatever the reason...

Ladies, if you and your FH are lucky to have help, then be greatful. That's all I'm saying.

Ok, waiting for you to throw things at me now...

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OMG, THANK YOU for posting this. DH asked me to marry him - he didn't ask my parents, his mom didn't ask me ... it is what we want to do ... I really cannot see how I could ever EXPECT or ASK our parents for money for OUR wedding.

We did exactly what we can afford and we did it our way. I would never want our parents to use THEIR hard-earned money - that they earned and saved for a LONG TIME just so I could have a 5-hour party. That's why we paid for it ourselves.

This IS the 21st Century, not the 1950's, no one's parents - brides or grooms owes you one red cent because you decided to walk down the aisle. Archaiac thinking.

JMO, of course

My FIL's and my parents are splitting the reception hall in half.

FIL's are also paying for the rehersal dinner.

FI and I are paying for everything else.

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Posted by Jan05Bride

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Posted by Blu-ize

Curious to know why some people expect anyone to pay anything? It's your wedding. If you can't afford it, then do with what you have? Sorry to vent, but some posters have to realize that people will do what they want with their money.

That being said, it's ludicrous the amount of money it costs to have a wedding in New York, but if that's what you want, find a way to pay for it.

Some parents don't have the money or need it for some other reason and cannot contribute as much as they would like, or may think that it's not their responsibility. (Or are being cheap)-whatever the reason...

Ladies, if you and your FH are lucky to have help, then be greatful. That's all I'm saying.

Ok, waiting for you to throw things at me now...

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OMG, THANK YOU for posting this. DH asked me to marry him - he didn't ask my parents, his mom didn't ask me ... it is what we want to do ... I really cannot see how I could ever EXPECT or ASK our parents for money for OUR wedding.

We did exactly what we can afford and we did it our way. I would never want our parents to use THEIR hard-earned money - that they earned and saved for a LONG TIME just so I could have a 5-hour party. That's why we paid for it ourselves.

This IS the 21st Century, not the 1950's, no one's parents - brides or grooms owes you one red cent because you decided to walk down the aisle. Archaiac thinking.

JMO, of course

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DITTO!

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Posted by Jan05Bride

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Posted by Blu-ize

Curious to know why some people expect anyone to pay anything? It's your wedding. If you can't afford it, then do with what you have? Sorry to vent, but some posters have to realize that people will do what they want with their money.

That being said, it's ludicrous the amount of money it costs to have a wedding in New York, but if that's what you want, find a way to pay for it.

Some parents don't have the money or need it for some other reason and cannot contribute as much as they would like, or may think that it's not their responsibility. (Or are being cheap)-whatever the reason...

Ladies, if you and your FH are lucky to have help, then be greatful. That's all I'm saying.

Ok, waiting for you to throw things at me now...

---

OMG, THANK YOU for posting this. DH asked me to marry him - he didn't ask my parents, his mom didn't ask me ... it is what we want to do ... I really cannot see how I could ever EXPECT or ASK our parents for money for OUR wedding.

We did exactly what we can afford and we did it our way. I would never want our parents to use THEIR hard-earned money - that they earned and saved for a LONG TIME just so I could have a 5-hour party. That's why we paid for it ourselves.

This IS the 21st Century, not the 1950's, no one's parents - brides or grooms owes you one red cent because you decided to walk down the aisle. Archaiac thinking.

JMO, of course

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I agree with you, I do not expect either of our parents to pay for the wedding. I have nto asked either of my parents for $, but my dad did offer to give us some $ (it'll cover my dress). I DO want to say my biggest issue w/ FILs NOT contributing is FMILs NEED to put in her two cents about what she likes and doesn't like and what she should or shouldn't do. Also, FH told me, when we got engaged, that his parents would give us the same $ they gave his brother and sister (who'd already married) to help them. TO date, neither of us asked for a DIME or are expecting it. If we get it, it'll just be an added bonus.

ETA: When FH asked who pays for the rehearsal dinner, I said 'traditionally' it's the grooms family. We both said 'So that means we're paying for it'

my parents are paying 75%, which i'm grateful for. yes, mom had some opinions about certain things and many of the guests are her friends, but in the end, those things really didn't matter to me. there's no way we could have had the wedding we are having without their help, so i deal...

fh's parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, which is nice of them too. we make more than they do, so i really didn't expect much at all...

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Posted by Blu-ize

Curious to know why some people expect anyone to pay anything? It's your wedding. If you can't afford it, then do with what you have? Sorry to vent, but some posters have to realize that people will do what they want with their money.

That being said, it's ludicrous the amount of money it costs to have a wedding in New York, but if that's what you want, find a way to pay for it.

Some parents don't have the money or need it for some other reason and cannot contribute as much as they would like, or may think that it's not their responsibility. (Or are being cheap)-whatever the reason...

Ladies, if you and your FH are lucky to have help, then be greatful. That's all I'm saying.

I

Ok, waiting for you to throw things at me now...

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Its not that I am expecting anyone to pay for anything, its just the fact that this anitquated notion still exists that its the bride's parents responsibility to pay for the wedding. If they can't afford it thats fine.. the thing that bothers me is that they are not because they thing its not their responsibility, or something like that. I am having an issue trying to explain what I am trying to say, but do you know what I mean?
Believe me, I am not looking for handouts. I feel bad everytime my parents offer to pay for something. I guess I am getting some of this from my mom who is very annoyed that FIL's arent offering to contribute. Thats all.

I did not mean to start an arguement... just trying to get out some frusration, I have had a very tough few days...

I understand what you are trying to say and it's hard to think objectively while feeling things emotionally ... so yes, I do understand what you mean.

Listen, my parents gave us a generous engagement gift and they paid for my dress. DH's mom gave us other stuff that was house related.

Many of our parents HELP us, there is no doubt about that ... but you cannot fault these people (mom, dad, fmil, ffil) for not contributing to something that is for YOU and FH. It's not their party, it's not their wedding, it's not their life ... it's all yours and it is your responsibility. That's just how I feel about it. I cannot change that.

Honestly, I wouldn;t want my parents to use $10k, $20k, $30k, 60;, whatever of their money on my one day. I'd rather them use it for themselves to enjoy it.