Spinoff: Would you adopt?

I definitely would. I would like to try to have biological children first, but I think it's definitely an option if we have problems.

My aunt was adopted (she's only two years older than I am). My grandparents had had a lot of foster children. they got her when she was just 4 days old. Two years later her parents put her up for adoption. they just couldn't let her go - even though they had three grown children of their own (their youngest was about 18) and they were in their 40s (which was pretty old to raise a child 30 years ago) they adopted her.

I think it was so admirable of them. Who knows what would've happened to her if they hadn't adopted her and she has had a wonderful life.

I think it's a special thing to do, and it's not for everyone, but people who do do it are generously rewarded by knowing that they gave a child a chance at a better life.

ETA: Recently one of my second cousins JUST found out that my aunt was adopted! He didn't even know, she's just one of us!

Absolutely!
My BIL and his wife adoped and now I have the most beatiful chinese niece! She came to the US on June 16th and she has been NOTHING but a joy to our whole family!

She also has 2 asian cousins (one from China and one from Korea) on the other side of her family. And I know my other BIL and SIL are considering adopting. We will see what happens when the time comes but I would love to adopt even if I had no problems conceiving (My BIL & SIL did not adopt because of infertility, they have 2 biological children as well)

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Posted by janet

i am adopted and found my birth mom 3 weeks after my wedding! it was good at first but i do not feel the bond with her... i guess because she never did change her ways... but i did get 2 siblings one boy who is 2 and a girl who is 4. i love then dearly!

as for me i have no choise to adopt, seee 7 years ago i had to have a full hystorectomy and it is very hard for me when i see friends have babies, 2 girlfriends of mine both had babies at the same time and at one baby shower i cried like a baby cause somethings where said like too bad all 3 of you could not be having babies at the same time, then another said to the girls who shower it was thank god you did not get prego in high school... well i did and that hurt like crazy, and i am very greatful that i did cause then i would have never had a baby of my own. it hurts like crazy that i can not give my dear hubby a child of his own and even thought about asking for someone to do it for us , it's not the same but at least he would have one of his own.... but in ny it has to be a family memeber or a close friend due to past problems.... no one i know would do it for us, but i do understand but it is very hard for me! sorry so long i have been hurting alot latly about it and need to vent sorry again!

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Don't apologize for venting this!!! Sending you hugs!!!


As for my reply to the post -- yes I would still consider adopting even though I'm pregnant now. I've always thought about adopting a little girl from China ...

WOW!!! What with all these adoption questions?? Dont you guys know I have work Im supposed to be doing..but instaed I have to add to every post!!
I always said that I wanted as many children as God would let me have. I said I would adopt as well as have my own, be a foster parents, whatever we could afford. So when we set out to conceive, it tuned out the only way was through IVF. HJust as adoptiuon is not for everyone, IVF was not for me. Screw that..theres so many starving children out there..Id rather adopt them. But thats just me. My husband was not as open to adoption as I was when he found out it wasnt so easy to have bio children. He took a little presuading. I didnt know I would be as into it as I am..if you told me a year ago that we would be adopting two boys from EThiopia, ages 7 and 8..I would have throught you were out of your friggin mind!!! We set out to adopt a baby girl..but when we saw these two boys..man..there was no looking back. I guess you never know what you can handle until you are faced with the situation. There was a time a few months ago, my persion was VERY late. I prayed and cried because I DIDNT want to be pregnant. In Ethiopia, if I were to get pregnant, our adoption of the boys would be terminated. I felt guilty for not wanting my own child(if I WERE pregnant) and I was a mess. I finally took a test and it was negative..thank god..but what an emaotional mess I was. I believe I was truly put here to adopt these wonderful boys. I am already so in love with them..in my eyes, they are my children. My sister had a terrible time with getting pregnant, she started looking into adoption, but she said it wasnt for them. Now that Im doing it, she has changed her mind because she sees how happy I am. So never say never..because ya just really dont know!

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Posted by don424

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Posted by oct.2004bride

i can't explain why not...it just wouldn't feel right to me and i kow my DH feels the same.

We have having a child of our own naturally or not at all

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i completely know how you feel

like i said, it would HAVE to be under the right pretense

but i tend to agree with you

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I would like to 3rdly agree, It is hard to explain why but I am all for it if pple want to but i do not think that is a choice I would personally make.. JMO

Oh man..Im ona roll now...
The story of one of the boys we are adopting is Paulos, his mom contracted AIDS through a faulty bood transfusuion, passed it to the father and got pregnant and the baby was born with HIV. Paulos hwoever is negative. So his parents died, his baby brother is dying and Paulos was running the streets ate age 5 homeless. He was taken in by a wonderful wman who cared for him until beds opened up at the orphanage where he is now. Our agency makes videos of these chidlrna nd he is just the cutest thing. By the tiem I first saw him, he had already been at the orphanage for 7 months. Thats 7 months that families had looked at him, yet decided to adopt someone else. So I saw him in November and was SHOCKED that he was still available..I kept saying I cant believe noone has adopted him..and I kept hearing..he's been witing for YOU. Do you know what its like to hear that. To feel this kind of love for a child who is clear across the world, knwoing that he was meant to be yours. It blows my mind Soemoen up above has looked out for this..someone up there really wants this because our finger prints came back in record time 2 weeks, when it would normally take 10 weeks, we are broke, yet I landeda freelance position which is such a big job its paying off this adoption completely, plus airfare, etc. Its amazing hwo meant to be everything is. So I cant stress enough the beauty of adoption. We didnt set out to be heros and adopt two hard to place children., we wanted a family. We were looking for a baby girl, as I mentioned before..but these boys were meant to be ours, because once I laid my eyes on them, I never had a second thought, I never looked at another child. Adoption is amazing. I cant say that Ive ever been happier or more excited.

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Posted by aliciahelene

Oh man..Im ona roll now...
The story of one of the boys we are adopting is Paulos, his mom contracted AIDS through a faulty bood transfusuion, passed it to the father and got pregnant and the baby was born with HIV. Paulos hwoever is negative. So his parents died, his baby brother is dying and Paulos was running the streets ate age 5 homeless. He was taken in by a wonderful wman who cared for him until beds opened up at the orphanage where he is now. Our agency makes videos of these chidlrna nd he is just the cutest thing. By the tiem I first saw him, he had already been at the orphanage for 7 months. Thats 7 months that families had looked at him, yet decided to adopt someone else. So I saw him in November and was SHOCKED that he was still available..I kept saying I cant believe noone has adopted him..and I kept hearing..he's been witing for YOU. Do you know what its like to hear that. To feel this kind of love for a child who is clear across the world, knwoing that he was meant to be yours. It blows my mind Soemoen up above has looked out for this..someone up there really wants this because our finger prints came back in record time 2 weeks, when it would normally take 10 weeks, we are broke, yet I landeda freelance position which is such a big job its paying off this adoption completely, plus airfare, etc. Its amazing hwo meant to be everything is. So I cant stress enough the beauty of adoption. We didnt set out to be heros and adopt two hard to place children., we wanted a family. We were looking for a baby girl, as I mentioned before..but these boys were meant to be ours, because once I laid my eyes on them, I never had a second thought, I never looked at another child. Adoption is amazing. I cant say that Ive ever been happier or more excited.

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Reading this made me cry at work..I can't begin to tell you how wondeful it is that you are adopting these boys. I think it is the single most giving and rewarding thing humans can do. I would love to adopt when the time comes-even after having our own biological children...I've mentioned it to my FH before, and he would need more persuading I think, but to me I feel I was meant to do it as well..

I just can't help knowing how many children are out there of all ages that need a home-its so so heartbreaking..but people like you are changing these kids lives in such a huge way. I just wanted to say that!! You were definitely meant to be their mother, no doubt about it!

Thank you!!!! Thanks for saying that. I know adoption isnt for everyone, it was for my husband in the beginning either. But even when we were dating Id say I wanted to adopt, evein with our own bio kids. So who knew..we'd just be adopting. IVF isnt for me..I hated IUI's, only had two of them and said nope..this isnt for me.Honestly, I did have a bit of hard time in the beginning..I did my few days of crying..we had our children kind of planned out..this little girl who looked like me, etc. to know thatw asnt going to happen was a brief shock to the system..but I swear, when you see helpless children who need a home...your mind really can change. Now I couldnt imagine my life any otherw ay. The way I feel towards these boys..I didnt even know was possible. The love I feel for them..its mind boggling. They say when you have children, you fall in love again, I believe this holds true for adopted children as well. I am so in love with these boys and I havent even held them yet. When I am able to hug them for the first time..I will never want to let go. I cant say enough wonderful things about adoption. We have a wonderful, extremely amazing agency, we found two boys that we adore..we just travel across the world to bring them home..but hell, Ive always wanted to go to Africa! In case anyone forgot how cute they are..let me just post a few quick pictures..