How do you & FH split the holidays 'fairly' between both families. I feel like FH & I fight about Christmas every year. He wants to be at his siter's on the eve & then at his parent's on the day for dinner. Which means that we are always running back & forth. Last year we compromised but it turned into a huge fight & I don't want to deal with that again.
His parents & sister are very close & my family is in Dix Hills, so running to see everyone is not fun & it always feels ike we are on a schedule.
Any suggestions???
Beth1210
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
I am hosting christmas dinner with both families at my house
I am a little nervous- but it should be fun I am catering some, cooking some and my FMIL is cooking some
for thanksgiving we are splitting up this year- but next year when we ar married I want to stay together
103005FallBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
UGH! This has GOT to be the worst! His Mother feels we should spend EVERY living moment with them....They live next town over. My family is Upstate. So...we usually get up there once every other month or if we're very lucky once a month for like...a day! So...when the holidays come around she doesn't understand at all! She feels she should see her 'children' on holidays..that's fine and dandy, but she doesn't feel we should have to go Upstate to see my family...
SOON TO BE MRS. B
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
we do my fam early for all holidays b/c we eat early and then go to his family...it always seems to work out but it gets a bit stressful if we are running late... i hope one day to be able to do teh holidays and then everyoen can come to us!
july06bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
we share...but last year my parents made it easy and had his family for christmas and christmas eve along with my family... we are going to my parents for thanksgiving and having christmas eve at my house with both families and christmas day at his family with both sets, easter i am usually with his family since its on a sunday and i hate travelling to CT from LI on a sunday night
JanuaryBride06
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
We do Thanksgiving with his family in southern NJ; he sees mine way more often and it's one of the very few times each year that he gets to see his sister and cousins. Because he's Jewish and I was raised Catholic, we don't have problems during the rest of the year.
SuzBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
Ugh! I wish we could split them, but alot of my extended family is off LI, and his is all on LI. He will get Thanksgiving (with us possibly traveling to spend the weekend at least with my family). I get Easter.
Xmas - as of last year we split Xmas eve and Xmas, but I'm not sure about this year since my grandfather and a bunch of my aunts/uncles/cousins just moved off LI.
LaurenluvsTJ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
We are two different religions, so its not as hard for us. Thanksgiving we are going to spend here, and Christmas go upstate to see his family. He made the decision all on his own to do this, I never asked him to. My family really never celebrates anything except Thanksgiving, so if I wasn't home for that, I wouldn't have any holidays with my family.
nicothy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
for thanksgiving we always to away to VA to visit my dad and both are mothers don't say anything. Even when we were just dating. Then x-mas we will have our families together or we will eat alittle at his moms then go to my moms after his.. we didn;t really talk about it yet for x-mas
MrsFelix
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
My family is very close and we split the holidays so which ever holiday we get (Thanks, Xmas or New Years), we have both his family and my family together. We're hoping his family will join us for Thanks at my cousin's house and xmas will be at my house.
JessicaM.
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
well, it doesn't seem like he is being fair.
ideally, if you spend dinner on the Eve at his family, you should have dinner on the Day with yours, and then go over to his family for dessert.
you could also include your mom and inlaws...tell them if they want to see you both, they will space out their meal times.
maybe have brunch with your family and dinner with his...
BEANS
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
Posted by JessicaM.
well, it doesn't seem like he is being fair.
ideally, if you spend dinner on the Eve at his family, you should have dinner on the Day with yours, and then go over to his family for dessert.
you could also include your mom and inlaws...tell them if they want to see you both, they will space out their meal times.
maybe have brunch with your family and dinner with his...
Thanksgiving this year will be at his parents-my family is coming, so I am in the clear for that one. I will probably end up spending the eve at my brother's & then we will be back at this sister's at like 8-9:00. Christmas day is the problem-I am not going to trek back out to Dix Hills from Queens in all that traffic. And seriously my family could split x-mas some how too. If I go there for the eve they can come to me on the day....right??? We have time to figure it out, it's just that it is always a hassle.
kaklesmay
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
We always do our own thing for x-mas. Thanksgiving we may try to do both fams. We'll see if we feel like driving around all day.
cindyandkevin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
I'm pretty fortunate in this instance. FH doesn't have any family left so we can always go with what my family is doing. The only one we have to worry about it whether or not we're going to have his daughter or if she'll be with her mom.
TheBigDay
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
Posted by SOON TO BE MRS. B
we do my fam early for all holidays b/c we eat early and then go to his family...it always seems to work out but it gets a bit stressful if we are running late... i hope one day to be able to do teh holidays and then everyoen can come to us!
My family eats earlier too, but FMIL is very good at keeping him there as long as possible then when he does come over (lives 10 mins away) she calles constantly for when he will be home!!! so he usually only visits for an hr!!! Same crap every yr.. never mind that we spend all of xmas eve with his mom! same things for thanksgiving.. even easter and they really dont do anything for easter, my whole family gets together! they ALWAYS have to be together, every minute!!! so SMOTHERING! haha.. just realized how funny that the word mother is in smother!!!
Preshy7
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
Posted by BEANS
How do you & FH split the holidays 'fairly' between both families. I feel like FH & I fight about Christmas every year. He wants to be at his siter's on the eve & then at his parent's on the day for dinner. Which means that we are always running back & forth. Last year we compromised but it turned into a huge fight & I don't want to deal with that again.
His parents & sister are very close & my family is in Dix Hills, so running to see everyone is not fun & it always feels ike we are on a schedule.
Any suggestions???
where in dix hills?
Goldi1021
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
I can honestly say the ONLY fight we have over Christmas is which Chinese restaurant on Mott Street has the shortest lines. As long as there is sauteed spinach and a spring roll, We are two happy Hebrews.
As far as the other holidays go, we have split every one of them. My brother is divorced (and remarried) and sees his children every other year for major holidays. On the years his children are with him, we ALL try to be there so we can have everyone together at once. This will be the first Thanksgiving with my father gone. It is an especially difficult time of year because my parents closed and moved into their house a few days before this holiday 41 years ago and ate on cardboard boxes. So despite the fact that my brothers daughters are not with him this year, we divided again so Mom could have the support she needs so much. Come to thin of it, I need it too.
I suppose Thanksgiving is the only holiday that poses issues in terms of dividing. Most major Jewish holidays have more than one day of observance and/or celebration and therefore nobody is ever slighted. It is more or less of a question of coordinating who goes where on which day.
mark'smama
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
BklynItaliana
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
i don't know what to do either Thanksgiving i told his parents we'll spend with them since his moms b-day is the day after.. it's only right..
for chirstmas.. each christmas we are seperated we switch gifts at midnight the day before the eve and then he goes to his moms house and has the eve and day with his family...my family is weird b/c we go to my mo parent for the eve and my dads for the day this year will be the first time in 22 years i don't go to my fathers side.. i don't know how thats gonna go over
this is our first christmas we will spend together we will do my mothers family for the eve and his for the day..i wont see my fathers side at all for christmas.. the same thing for New Years..
maria5-6-05
Posted:
Member since
Re: Splitting the holidays
Posted by BEANS
How do you & FH split the holidays 'fairly' between both families. I feel like FH & I fight about Christmas every year. He wants to be at his siter's on the eve & then at his parent's on the day for dinner. Which means that we are always running back & forth. Last year we compromised but it turned into a huge fight & I don't want to deal with that again.
His parents & sister are very close & my family is in Dix Hills, so running to see everyone is not fun & it always feels ike we are on a schedule.
Any suggestions???
We actually just started having the conversations. We had a huge blow out last year after trying to do everything on both sides and this year we agreed we wouldn't...except how we are going to do it I don't know
