The one thing I have wanted for my wedding day, since I was like 5 years old, is a horse and carriage to take me to the ceremony. I have searched high and low, and can't find one for less than $1000. Am I getting my horse and carriage? NO!
Sometimes, you just have to be practical. I prefer a DJ to a band for a variety of reasons. First, I have found at every wedding I've ever been to with a band that they are just too loud, and no matter how many times you ask, they just don't tone it down. Second, why on earth should I pay 5 times the amount of money for someone to copy another person's song. Heck, for a fraction of the cost you get the original artist. Yes, it's a recording, but I've never heard anyone sing a Frank Sinatra song that compares to a recording of the man himself. This of course is JMHO and is no way a knock on the girls who have booked bands. A good DJ will not in any way make you look cheap, and will do plenty to keep the energy in the room.
As for high CP, if you read the WOTY thread you will see that while the high CP were beautiful a lot of the girls sitting at those tables were complaining that they couldn't see across to the person on the other side. That was a major factor for us to consider (and choose) low centerpieces. And our sample was gorgeous!!!!!!
You also mentioned favors. We are doing a donation. Originally we were doing the American Cancer Society in memory of his father and another undecided charity in memory of my father, but after yesterday, we might just donate to the Huntington's Disease Society to fund research that might keep my nephew alive more than another 10 years. It's not cheap, it's meaningful.
As for saving, my FH stinks at it big time. I accidentally didn't get money from him a few paychecks ago. BIG MISTAKE!!!! He managed to spend all of the money he should have given me, plus all of the money he normally has left over each paycheck, and he can't tell me what the heck he spent it on. It's a TON of money that is completely unaccounted for, and now we are thinking about changing our honeymoon because of the cost!
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If he would just do what he's supposed to do we wouldn't be in this mess!!
To get to the end of this long winded answer - you have to take control. Take a specific portion of your paycheck every time you get it and stick it in a separate account that is NOT attached to your ATM card. Insist FH match that amount. If anything extra comes in (like tax return money) put it in the wedding account - do not spend it on anything. Don't use your credit card unless you know you can pay the bill in full when it comes in. Make sure all your regular bills are paid when they come in so you're not tempted to spend the money on something wedding related and damage your credit rating - remember - you'll need a good credit rating to get a mortgage and buy a house.
Last, do a search on google for a wedding budget calculator. I don't remember which one we used, but we put in our total budget, and it spit out what % we should allocate for each vendor. We came in under budget for DJ and flowers, which enabled us to get a more expensive videographer, and more expensive invites than originally budgeted for, but still not exceed our total. (our honeymoon is on a separate budget).
HTH!!
